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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS out of school for this long?

45 replies

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata · 18/02/2012 11:41

We are going to France during term time in June for two weeks, so we intended to take DS out for those two weeks. Not too bad, I thought, but I'm also feeling a bit homesick at the moment and would really like to go to NZ to see my family for a couple of weeks. So he's be out for just over four weeks in total.

WIBU to take my DS out of school for this long? He is only in Nursery, so he's not legally required to be there just yet, but I'm worried about getting into trouble with the school. Does it affect their attendance records?

He's learning so much this year and loving school, but at the same time, I miss my mum. She hasn't met my other DS yet (9 months).

OP posts:
fallenpetal · 18/02/2012 13:18

Hmmm I wonder if we could make up a form for the Dh LOL :) Dear husband of mine, I should like to request an extra 2 weeks leave from life to go have fun down under....

Just an aside, are you comfortable with your dc in this school? Reading between the lines a bit you seem a little uncomfortable with the heads management style. Not sure I could entrust my lil one with some one I was intimidated by!

Pandemoniaa · 18/02/2012 13:23

He's not at school, he's at nursery. Since he doesn't legally have to attend (and not all children go to nursery) it is up to you to decide whether to take him out. There is no legislation that will prevent you.

It would be worth checking that his nursery place will still be available and whether you need to pay for the time he's away though.

FabbyChic · 18/02/2012 13:28

If you are going to go it should be when he is in Nursery, after he starts proper school you won't be permitted to take him out in term times and you shouldn't either it would be irresponsible.

Proudnscary · 18/02/2012 13:32

Why did you say in your OP that you are taking him out of school when it's nursery so completely different?

What a pointless AIBU! So errr YABU.

Littlefish · 18/02/2012 13:35

Before you make a final decision, find out what induction arrangements there are from nursery to Reception. Although we do lots of collaborative work across our foundation stage all year, we do some specific sessions for children starting school from Easter onwards. From May halferm, these happen on a weekly basis at least. We find that they really help the children to move confidently into reception.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 18/02/2012 13:35

I used to teach, and have taught nursery. I would go so far as to say that if you're taking him out for all of June, just inform the school that his last day in the Nursery class will be the day before the school breaks up for the May half term. His place in the Reception class is (unless things have changed recently) is an entirely separate matter, so he will still be able to start there in September. Have a fun filled summer!

mummymeister · 18/02/2012 14:06

Worraliberty - Whilst out of school on holiday we did lots of educational things with her. had she been in school she missed end of term plays and videos and she caught up all the work before returning. The point i was trying to make is that education isnt just about being at school and taught by teachers it is what we as parents teach our children when they are with us. It is not up to the school "to allow" you to take your children out or not. i am fortunate to live in an area where the schools take a reasonable approach to taking kids out of school.

FaithHopeAndKevin · 18/02/2012 14:30

I'd do it, but I'd think about timing - is he going into reception in September? When are the induction sessions - would he miss any of those? Our school does 4x inductions in June/July and a parents evening session in July.

Abra1d · 18/02/2012 14:33

It's 'off roll', not 'off role', I think, in case anyone else was confused.

halcyondays · 18/02/2012 16:38

I would quite happily take him out, it's nursery, not school and it's not compulsory so there is no problem with it.

WorraLiberty · 18/02/2012 16:46

Worraliberty - Whilst out of school on holiday we did lots of educational things with her. had she been in school she missed end of term plays and videos and she caught up all the work before returning. The point i was trying to make is that education isnt just about being at school and taught by teachers it is what we as parents teach our children when they are with us. It is not up to the school "to allow" you to take your children out or not. i am fortunate to live in an area where the schools take a reasonable approach to taking kids out of school

Indeed education is also about what we as parents teach our children...but unlike the teachers, we can teach our children things without having to remove them from school...like after school/at weekends/during the 13 weeks holiday.

And it is up to the school to 'allow' you to take your children out or not, because they are the ones who will decide whether or not to report you to the LA who may decide to prosecute you.

mummymeister · 18/02/2012 17:43

Worra you are scaremongering. the only parents taken to court and prosecuted are those who persistently absent their children from school over a long period of time not a parent who takes their child out of school once for a week or two. you would be laughed out of court if you tried to prosecute a diligent parent for one two week holiday in term time. honestly get some perspective on this.

Floggingmolly · 18/02/2012 19:44

You can take him out, but they're not obligated to take him back.

my2centsis · 18/02/2012 20:03

Lol OP love the name! Reading that I still invasion that nurse saying that. Tbh everytime I see that guy on movies that's the 1st thing that comes to mind!!

Btw YANBU :)

duckdodgers · 18/02/2012 20:18

Why did you say "school" several times when its nursery? Confused

Because thats completely different!

redwineformethanks · 18/02/2012 21:51

I think this is OK at nursery, but not once they're at school

PineappleBed · 18/02/2012 22:48

Yes it will affect their attendance rating with ofsted but most nurseries are resigned to this as they have no legal position with parents on it - the only black spot on the outstanding the nursery I'm a governor at just got.

Check their policy before you do, you could come back and find yourself with no hours.

mackemmam · 18/02/2012 22:57

Take him out, not everyone attends state nursery before school so he won't miss anything vital. Sounds like the holiday will be a really enriching experience for him. I have 3 DCs and two have been through the 'induction' process for infant/reception school which was half a day in school and I really don't think it would have made any difference if they had missed it, might just be my local school! Once he starts school I wouldn't advocate holidays in term time because he will miss some important lessons (not too sure about the last couple of weeks of the summer term though, our school is just sports days and dvds!!). Go away and have fun!

mackemmam · 18/02/2012 23:04

I might be wrong but under 5 years old attendance is not compulsory so for this reason nursery and reception year figures are not included in a school's attendance figures (on national websites). Legally a child only has to attend school/be home schooled from the term after their 5th birthday or the summer term of that academic year, whichever is sooner. For example you can keep a child whose birthday is in March at home until the Summer term if you wish however if everyone else starts in the September they will miss out on a huge amount. Ofsted only look at attendance from year 1 onwards but would be concerned if attendance in nursery and reception was poor.

IWishICouldThinkOfAFabName · 23/02/2012 17:23

I think mackemum is correct. When my dd was at nursery it was acceptable to take them out during term time but they did require a form to be completed. If you want to go to NZ then do it now before your Ds starts school.
My eldest is 11 so I wouldn't take him out of school now but when he was in the infants we did take him out once a year to go skiing ( normally for 3 or 4 days as we tried to coordinate it with the inset days).
If does effect the schools OFSTED so we have never taken our children out for more than one week each academic year and have always requested permission.
Luckily our school is sensible and does look at each case individually. My DS had no time off sick in 2 years and was on track with his learning. If I had a child who missed lots of school due to sickness I would probably not take them out of school for a holiday.
I would be honest with the nursery about visiting NZ to see your family plus as another MN has said consider the timing.
At 4 they aren't really going to miss much - but may take some time to settle back in.
Enjoy a trip back home while you can - your DS will be at school for the next 14 years!

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