To want my DP to indulge in S&M

[desperatenotstupid]

Well, it IS friday after all!

My DP and I have an active sex life and a loving, if not perfect, relationship.

I am sexually submissive, and i like to indulge my fantasies from time to time, without too much detail, they can be quite extreme. My DP isn't comfortable with hurting me, but done properly it is the best rush in the world. Is it too much of an ask to ask someone who you trust with your life, to push the limits from time to time?

Really interested in hearing people's views on this as i am clearly not the only person who feels like this and i really wonder what motivates me. The thing is, if this was the opposite and my DP was actually requesting to do these things to me, that would make me quite uncomfortable, but sometimes i just want to say, no, when i say i want it to hurt, i mean it - because i do.

I'm not without issues, but im pretty sane. I just wondered if anyone else cares to namechange (i haven't, but i have returned to mnet after quite a break) and share their thoughts. And no, im not a journalist - ive been on mumsnet a LONG time, i remember cod, moldiegate and the kitchen utensil fetishist.

thecook, i woudlnt want to go to a fetish club, i find that side of things a bit cliche and id probably just end up wiht a fit of the giggles :)

at stealth polar bear - yes, maybe you're right. We are not married but if we were i don't fancy having to cite "he wont whip seven shades out of me" as my reason .

To be totally fair though, he DOES indulge me and when he does it is just mind blowing. I worded my thread title badly, i was just wanting peoples thoughts on S&M in general. Imagine the outcry if i had posted saying my DP is trying to persuade me to let him hurt me sexually. I would even be questioning his motives So what makes its ok simply because I want him to do it?

swingers club where you can let someone else do the S&M stuff, he can watch then do the deed so to speak?

lol not for me - if anyone else did that to me id take their faces off :)

You can shop wherever you want to. It's M&S btw :)

And there was me thinking you meant Shopping & Mopping...

desperate - you sound exactly like me! My dh is wonderful and our sex life is amazing, it's just that sometimes I want more than he feels able to give. I have come to the understanding that he will never hurt me to the extent I like (he did once but felt it was too much for him). But because everything else is so amazing I am happy enough to let this go.

yes, we are much the same lazarusb - im not sure id like it if he actually WANTED to do it though, does that make sense?

Thats the hurtful thing goingforgoalweight - he happily accepts xmas gifts from his mother from M&S but whenever i suggest buying anything from there he tells me he isn't quite ready for M&S yet!!

OP. Have a look at the Torture Garden, London. Their events are huge.

I had an ex who was equally into it. (He was abusive out of bed though too ). The trouble was the S&M stuff was good but anything more vanilla was not.....in the end he was only interested when it was extreme and it got worse and worse, to a point where I no longer felt safe at times. (Don't want to go into too much detail here, hope you understand?).
We stopped sleeping together at all in the end. (There is more to this too!).

Still, what dh and I have is good and satisfies us both without either of us feeling uncomfortable or pressured.