to ask Dsis about her weight gain and hairloss - or mind my own?

[rosada]

oh this is so awkward.

Saw DSis for the first time since xmas yesterday. She has gained a lot of weight around her middle. She'd told me she'd had her hair straightened (that brazilian keratin thing), so I was looking forward to seeing that. She seems to have lost a lot of hair, could see her scalp very clearly and there were lots of broken-off hairs. Mostly at the back.

Now, my best friend had Cushing's syndrome a few years ago and that's what my brain was screaming at me. But on the other hand, DSis and I both have PCOS and it's just been xmas and maybe the keratin thing doesn't suit her hair.

Should I say something, because if it was ME I would want her to say something to me.

I am as sure as I can be she hasn't noticed the hair because she'd've been sure to mention it - she just talked about how straight it was and how nice it was not to have to bother with straighteners.

Don't want to upset her but am worried. WWYD?

Leave her alone!

tricky, i don't have a sister so i don't know but if it was a close close friend i wouldn't say anything but i would engineer a heart-to-heart situation where we could sit down and i could ask her how she is and give her every opportunity to tell me if she were feeling rundown or unhappy or ill.

Selyna, if it is cushing's, it shouldn't be left alone. Nor if it's to do with her PCOS.

if it's just pies and a bad haircut then of course I should leave her alone! Hence the worry.

maybe she seemed okay, said her SAD was bad - but then, it might just be SAD. When my best friend had cushing's she was v v depressed.

Speak to her. My sister was incredibly depressed, had cracked skin, had put on loads of weight and had noticeable hairloss at her parting. Everybody pussyfooted around her and said nothing. I spoke to her and encouraged her to go to the doctor. She has quite bad hypothyroidism and is now doing brilliantly on a high dose of levothyroxine.

How's she likely to react?

As this is a sister, I'd say that it's likely you can broach just about anything, this included. Because if it later proved there were a medical issue, you'd feel terrible for not speaking up.

But as you're feeling the need to ask, do you have reasons for worrying how she'd take it?

I am a bit worried that if it is just pies/bad haircut she'll be angry or upset.

I mean, on one level she will be glad I care. But she'll also know I think she's put on loads of weight and her hair looks crap. It's difficult.

A friend of mine had that hair thingumy done and her scalp became more noticeable. I don't think her hair thickness has changed, the treatment just seemed to make her hair look thinner than normal.

Maybe you could just ask your sister if she's ok, and just say she doesn't quite seem herself - just talk generally rather than specifics. Then she can disclose any health problems if she chooses to - if there are any of course.

You say that you get the distinct impression that she hasn't noticed anythkng different about her hair, has she said anything to suggest she is aware of the weight gain?

Is there another close relative (close to you both) that you could speak to, maybe your sister has confided in another relative or another relative could help you decide whether speaking to your sister is appropriate?

FWIW I totally understand the difficulty with your dillemna (although I can't offer much helpful advise).

I think the suggestion of a general heart to heart to get more info might be the best starting position and go from there...

P.s. no chance she's pregnant is there (if the weight is around her tummy)? The straightnening itself will make the hair look thinner and less full I would have thought.

Weight gain, hair loss, does she have a thyroid problem? Is she getting excessively tired, aches and pains?

What Oggy said?

If one of my sisters talked to me like that, I wouldn't be offended at all, but I suppose it depends on the relationship you have with her.