To be unable to accept his wishes?

[missmaryp]

Hello ladies,

I hope you're not going to roll your eyes as I really do need your words of wisdom.
Basically, me and partner of 3 years have a daughter each, when we got together we didn't want more children but surprise surprise I changed my mind. It's been pretty much consuming said mind since about a year and a half ago.

My partner feels he has compromised by changing his mind to agreeing to more children, but that I must also compromise by waiting. This conversation was 6 months ago and he asked I wait a year so August is the goal in mind.

I reluctantly agreed, as I felt i had little choice, but since then it has been regularly brought up by me because I want nothing more than to be at home raising our family. I have tried so bloody hard to shut up and accept its not that long to wait, but every time I come on my period or a friend announces she is pregnant it ends up in me pissing him off by bringing it up AGAIN.

He thinks by doing so, I am showing his wishes are less important than mine.

I don't see it that way. I'm bringing it up because it is making me jealous and miserable and he is my partner and has shown me with his love that I can and should share my feelings with him.

I hate causing negativity between us. And I wish I could just shut up and be patient, but it eats me up inside. I am close to tears every time I come on my period, whenever we have sex I am focused on the chance he might change his mind and just - you know- this time. It's ridiculous, and I understand why he gets annoyed with me when I keep pushing him to change his mind.

I don't want to push him away.

AMIBU to keep talking to him about it?

completely get you Hecate.

Miss, six months is not a long time. Are you worried about waiting because of your age, or is it just that overwhelming urge for a baby?

It's just overwhelming urge and, ashamed as I am to admit it, the crushing jealousy I feel that other people are doing/getting what I so strongly desire.

Try to relax. Enjoy the summer. Enjoy the girls. Enjoy each other. FFS enjoy the sex!

Apart from anything else, all the tension makes it harder for you to conceive when you do try!

I totally understand how you feel being desperate for a baby is awful and not something you can control but I think that you should try to concentrate on the fact that he has agreed and 6 months is not a long time to wait. I suggest making the best of the next 6 months by doing things you may not get a chance to do when you are pregnant/have a young baby. Make the most of time you and Dp have alone together, spent time with your children you already have, have nights/days out with friends. Try planing 6 things to do 1 every month say for the week after you have your period and I'm sure the next 6 months will fly in.

i totally understand where you're coming from but agree the nagging etc sounds really annoying and you should definitely try to control yourself - loving someone doesn't have to mean sharing every stray thought in your mind, especially as it implies dissatisfaction with your partner...why does he want to wait?