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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really concerned for this man?

13 replies

vix1980 · 16/02/2012 10:48

Yesterday morning i was awoken by a car running outside my house at around 6am, it stayed on for a while and then finally turned the engine off a little later. About half 7 i got up to drop my oh off at work, and saw a man sitting in it smoking a cigarette, when i came back half an hour later he was still there.

The car was empty all day then last night i came home around half 10 and he was sat in his car again, which i found strange as the courses usually finish about 5ish, anyway got up through the night as a car engine woke me up when i looked out the window he was asleep in his car with the light on, when my boyfriend woke up at 7 he looked out and he was still there then, smoking again.

I feel really bad for him but part of me thinks well if he can afford a car and ciggies he must be ok but why would you choose to sleep in your car? the car is still there now but hes not in it, DP said to offer him a cuppa if i see him again, im just a little concerned as to what hes doing, i live in a pretty built up area with lots of children always playing out so its not like he chose the quietest place to sleep anyway. any idea what to do? just leave him to it and see if he moves on...

OP posts:
Original poster
vix1980 · 16/02/2012 10:49

*Should of been concerned about this man!

OP posts:
DonkeyTeapot · 16/02/2012 10:56

I'd go and ask him if he'd like a cuppa, and if he needs to use a phone or anything to arrange somewhere to stay, as you've noticed he has been sleeping in his car.

If he has fallen on hard times, his car may be worth more to him than he'd get if he sold it. I don't know about the cigs, but if he is in a mess, he probably needs whatever small pleasures he can get! He might have been given them, or he might have been a 20 a day smoker who has cut down to 2 a day to preserve them, who knows?

I definitely would go and see if he needs anything, a bit of human kindness goes a long way, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it even if he's ok.

Birdsgottafly · 16/02/2012 11:03

I would speak to him but don't invite him into your house if you are on your own.

He may be going through a crisis but protect yourself (and others).

There is another thread in relationships in which the OP is terrified because she is being stalked by an ex, who is parked up near to her house for when she gets home from work, just be careful.

If your have a gut feeling that something isn't right i would phone the police.

FredFredGeorge · 16/02/2012 11:37

I've slept in my car at various times in my life. I've often been homeless - in reasonably well paid jobs so not struggling at all, but simply without a home, and simply found it easier to sleep in my car than find a hotel even when I could've afforded a hotel every night or imposed on friends. When I first got a job away from my friends and family, I slept in my car for the first 2 weeks of it (going away at the weekend in between) before finding a place to live. I swam in the mornings before to work to shower etc. but slept in the car, then I didn't really have a choice. But since I have done it on occasion when I do.

However, I would never do it on a residential street, as that seems a little more strange, and certainly be a little bit careful about why he's around - offer him a cuppa when DP is around.

NotWell · 16/02/2012 11:40

It's a very common problem. Lots of people find themselves homeless...a car is one of the last things they own and is precious as it is shelter.

If i were you I would offer him the use of your phone...and a cup of tea in the morning. He needs to speak to SHELTER.

thenightsky · 16/02/2012 11:40

He's probably a private detective staking out a house or something.

Original poster
vix1980 · 16/02/2012 12:20

thenightsky that's what i initially thought but hes drawing attention to himself by leaving the engine running and lights on all night so is actually a crap investigator Smile

I live opposite a pub and i found out before they run training courses on various things, 1 this week is training to gain a certificate in door security i.e in clubs and pubs in town, so possibly he is on that course as that fits, still think its a bit weird to choose to sleep in your car outside the venue, id at least travel somewhere else so as not to draw attention to yourself but anyway, ill wait and see if he stays again tonight and will go and ask if hes ok, he looks around 50ish so must be horrible sleeping in a car seat instead of a comfy bed though. the thing is about 2 minutes from here is a men's hostel centre which would of probably take him in if he'd of known

OP posts:
DonkeyTeapot · 18/02/2012 10:11

Any news on the man?

bringbacksideburns · 18/02/2012 10:28

I'm not sure i would offer him a cuppa really. I'm aware that makes me sound horrible and uncaring but i would just be wary for the moment.

I would leave him to it for the moment and just keep an eye on the situation.

Rhinestone · 18/02/2012 12:27

I would phone the police non-emergency number. Perfectly reasonable reason to do so. If he needs help then they can put him in touch with social services etc.

If he's there for a sinister reason then that's what they're there for!

Tw1gl3t · 18/02/2012 12:34

We've a chap that regualrly ends up sleeping in hs car. If he gets home too late, then his wife locks him out.

He makes a hell of a lot of noise in his car just so we all know how put-upon he is.

ImperialBlether · 18/02/2012 12:39

I don't think he's sleeping in his car because he needs to. I think he's on the lookout for someone.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/02/2012 12:55

XH used to do that a lot. Fortunately he's harmless, even to himself.

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