to be pissed off with being offered a council FLAT instead of a HOUSE?

[OMFFG]

We have 4 DCs, youngest 16 months and they think this is suitable!! The flat is 3 bedrooms and on the 2nd floor of a small tower block and has balconies which I would be pretty worried one of the DCs may fall out of.

This is my worst frigging nightmare. We have been 'homeless' for almost 2 years and the council have housed us in temporary accommodation (private rented) which we have to pay market value for (£875 per month) even though we did not choose it and it's a complete shit hole. We could not leave as we would lose our priority on the council bidding list. We lost our house when DH was made redundant and could not afford to pay £1200+ to privately rent.

Now after all this they have offered us a fucking flat. I am furious because every week until last week, there were only offering 3 bed houses but we would always be 3/4 on the list. Now that a flat was offered, less people have bid on it so we got to the top of the list. I did not even bid on it, the council did. Apparently they can bid on 'our behalf' as we are homeless and if we refuse this flat, we will be taken off the housing list. How the hell will we cope in a flat???

The rent is 'only' £380 a month but a house would only be £20 a month more.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it up their arses?

I think that many of the worst replies were from people who had not spotted that the OP had been paying her own rent. They had just spotted that the OP included the word council house and they lept in to tell her that the world did not owe her a living and that she should not have children .

No I am not relishing an argument or trying to be clever . I am not trying to be hostile or intolerant. I just think it is quite unedifying to stand back and watch posters tear someone apart who is going through a hard time. This is happening more and more and if I were on the receiving end I would like to think that someone would stand up for me ( even if they did not agree with me)

If someone was being treated like this in real life and I was there I would stand up for the OP, I don't leave my compassion at the door when I log on here.

It's tough. It is really tough, and the op is upset, and it would be unnatural if she wasn't. But I don't think a lot of people quite get what the situation is. Wwe have been living a life of luxery we couldn't afford, for a generation. We are broke. We can't pay the money for benefits./ healthcare/ education etc that people have grown up expecting. There are families living on the pavements in modern western european countries, today in 2012, families with babies, in countries that had welfare in the past. There is starvation in Greece. GREECE!
OP, rant and rave all you want. Vent you anger here, it is the best place for it. But in reality you are incredibly lucky with what you have been offered. I think you know that really.
Best wishes

Social housing is in really short supply so I do think you are being a bit unrealistic in thinking you will be able to choose a house. The council will only be concerned about whether you have an adequate number of bedrooms for your family.

After my marriage broke down I was living with my parents and 3 children in one house. It was a total nightmare (my dad is an alcoholic and can turn violent) but the council refused to prioritise me any higher than bronze for social housing because my parents have a 4 bedroom house. I was unwell at the time and one of my children is severely autistic. My doctor wrote a letter to the council stating my living environment was making me more unwell but they wouldn't budge and I had zero chance of getting anything basically.

To be honest you'd be cutting off your nose to spite your face to tell them to shove it up their arses....

"I just think it is quite unedifying to stand back and watch posters tear someone apart who is going through a hard time. This is happening more and more"

It really is happening more and more. I just don't get it.

The little guys fighting over scraps like adequate housing while the terminally ill are being forced to do "work experience" for dole money.

Of course the OP shouldn't tell the council to stick it up their arse, but I can see why after waiting for two years in temporary accommodation with 4 children she is upset, frustrated and disappointed to be offered a flat with no real option of turning it down.

Best of luck, OP. I hope things get better for your family soon.

And it is sad that your children will lose their trampoline.

Well said Athing

I am certainly not asking for sympathy I love my flat.

Ach it's a bloody awful thread isn't it. But it was ill conceived from the start

I have re-read the first answers to the OP and there was no shouting or name calling.
Just saying she was unreasonable and to take the flat, and that flats as such were not that bad.

One pp suggested contraception and she was corrected in that the OP had been pregnant before losing her home.

Then the OP told virtually every one to fuck off, if I'm not mistaken (message now deleted by MN, and quite rightly).

Nice person.

"But I don't think a lot of people quite get what the situation is. Wwe have been living a life of luxery we couldn't afford, for a generation. We are broke."

Utter bollocks.

You've really drunk the Tory Kool Aid, haven't you?

The UK isn't broke.

Go and read some economics that isn't just rightwing propaganda about how they are being forced to do what they've always wanted to do and dismantle the welfare state.

you are getting offered a 3 bedroomed accomdation !

what do want, David Cameron to come round at decorate for it for you

As my my granny used to say 'some folk dinna when they have it made'

Bupcakes, you're seriously sneering at me because I said CUNT in reply to your post that said CUNT?
Really, you're judging my character based on that? I'm so hurt and surprised by your hypocrisy

This place is littered with the word, and with the people themselves.

Some nasty things were said on this thread, the sensible thing to do is to ignore the personal insults and talk around them. Rather than banging on and on and on about how awful everyone is, as if plenty of people aren't having a sensible discussion. But if you want to waste your time complaining about how awful everyone is instead of making a sensible contribution, you knock yourself out.

I almost want to punch you ....in a joking way , on the arm for being so ungrateful

You lot still don't get it . There ARE houses available. There were two the week before last, last week when this flat was advertised, there was also a grd flr maisonette with a garden advertised. This week there is a further house advertised. This is why I am angry. The council have fobbed us (a large family with young children) off with the only flat that has been advertised for over a year as they know we have no choice but to accept it! That is why I am pissed off, not because we will be living on a council estate, we already are. The rented house we pay over the odds for is an ex council house and we are surrounded by 3 bed council houses occupied by older couples whose children have grown up and couples with 2 children paying under £400 a month while we will paying £380 a month for a flat in a shitty block. Really, would this not bother anyone, would you really be so grateful!?

And yes, we do get a small amount of hb. I did not want to say that before as I expected to be flamed further. That is only until I find a job though, that I can afford to take after paying full time childcare for DC4 and after school care for 3 other DCs. Although that will take up all my salary, DH will be able to afford ALL the bills on his wage if we are in a council property with a bit to save. When DC4 starts school in less than 3 years and the 2 oldest DCs don't need after school care, we hope to be able to afford a mortgage again but will NOT be buying the council house. Is that OK? Or should I be flamed for aspiring to NOT live in a council property.

Can I just say thanks again to those who understand me! I really appreciate your comments (UsualSuspect, Bupcakes, AThingInYourLife and a few others). I know my language has not been great but there is an awful lot of horrible people on here who seem to enjoy other people's misfortune and feel that they can judge people on the 'lower' end of the scale to them. We have not always been 'low' so have learnt a valuable lesson that things can change very, very quickly so would not judge anyone in our position.

We have arranged to view this place but are also awaiting advice from Shelter and our local MP with regards to he council's definition of 'suitable'. We shall fight all that we can and then we will know we have done all we can. At the end of the day, we want to do our best for our DCs as anyone else would.

and will you and you dp be paying the rent or will it be paid by housing benefit ?

Seriously you sound very very very ungrateful

I really understand your frustration but you've also got to understand that the best way forward is to take the flat and then look to transfer. There's an acute shortage of social housing (thanks Margaret Fucking Thatcher) and you simply don't have the sort of choice you assume you are entitled to.

I wonder if the op was intending to try and buy her council property after the qualification period and that would explain some of her vitriol.

I am perfectly happy to fuck right off, by the way, but given your rudeness here and the attitude you display it is hardly surprising that the council have fobbed you off.

I am left as left can be, but it is your attitude and lack of manners that leaves me without any sympathy. Get the fuck on with it.

I dont think OP is being ungrateful i just think she is feeling pretty down about the whole situation.
Flats are not that bad and I think you should perhaps use the flat and the money you will save as a go between.
Surely if your saving that much money you can save and get something better and more suitable in the future.

try and look for the positives in the situation your in.

If you think you have been discriminated agiainst because senior management know you then you need to complaint about that.

All these other issues are a distraction.

seriously you have to consider that maybe someone else was in more in
need of the house than yourself

In addition to that you have to consider the waiting list , some folk have waited 30 years to get enough points to move into a house.

There are also parents with 5 children living in 3 bedrooms flats , for 10 years waiting

It sounds like you and your family don't have ,numerous years on the waiting list under your belt ..........but you have been offered a 3 bedroom flat and are turning your nose up at ........ungrateful

To all those still bleating on about Housing Benefit or wages or whatever - is that important?

Isnt it important that 4 children deserve a 3 bedroom house? If not, who does get the 3 bedroom housing? Are there many families with 5+ children at the top of the list?

Like I've said OP's attitude could do with calming a little, but I do think she has a valid point. If this property has been empty for so long, council want it occupied and have decided this is the way to do it. I'm sorry, but I do think 4 children deserve a house - and everyone else's comment to the effect "I have 3 children in a 3 bed flat" etc etc are irrelevant. This is what social housing is for - and this is a family who need it.

If op deserves a three bed house though, and I am not saying she isn't, who gets the three bed flat? A less deserving or poorer family perhaps?

That is the way houses are allocated, it is the luck of the draw as to what is available when it is your turn. How should houses be allocated other than by a points system.

Have you vented anger at the council at all? The people I know who got good properties were persistant with the council but always pleasant. Could the people who got the houses have more points/more kids/waited longer etc?

The elderly people in 3 bed houses were, back in the 50s or whenever, given the house 'for life'. Why should they have to move? A home is so much more than bricks to people, especially vunerable people.

I do understand why you are annoyed. Maybe ring the council and ask why you got the flat and not the houses?

I do think it is a good idea to take it and then exchange or put in for a house. People may want to move near family etc. Or maybe if it really is unsuitable, get the health visitor to liase with the council so you can stay on the list.

No, not a less deserving or poorer family at all - income totally irrelevant as I've said...

Three bedroom could easily go to a 2 child family, 3 child family or 2 + baby. I do think 4 children need a house

Why shouldn't the 2 or 3 children familes get a house too?

They probably should get a house, TotemPole, but there obviously aren't enough available. Therefore don't families with 4 children get priority, or are there so many families with 5 children + waiting for accommodation