to have taken DS's dummy away at 2.8

[fullofregrets]

My husband thinks I'm cruel. So does my mother. I think my toddler's teeth are starting to protrude like bugs bunny's.

My husband thinks we should wait until DS volunteers to give it up. Will that ever happen? DS has actually gone to sleep...I think...with minimal fuss and a promise that the dummy fairy will have left him a gift in the morning.

I've done the right thing haven't I? Feeling guilty.

YANBU or cruel.

In a way I wish I'd been a dummy sucker rather than a thumb sucker as I caused real harm to my teeth which resulted in 5 years of othodontic treatment! Dummy fairies are fantastic.......thumbs are attached for life!!!

Good luck - you're little one will be fine.

upahill freshlettice they can be comforting and therapeutic to babies who have problems like reflux, as my ds3 did. Also the difference between sanity and insanity for mums/dads. My ds3 wouldn't take one but I tried it as he was in so much pain and the sucking that comes with dummies obviously produces more saliva that can soothe an irritated oesophagus. My other 2 didn't have them either but I think they have a valuable place

I did not want DS to have a dummy but he was a very difficult baby who struggled to self soothe and would cry for about five hours every evening. It is easy to be anti dummy (as I was) if you've never experienced a distressed crying baby night after night.

Anyway, happily this is night four without the dummy and DS has not mentioned it since Thursday. And even then he only mentioned it once and I just reminded him that the dummy fairy had taken the dummies and he said 'oh yes' and went to sleep. He was thrilled with his tool bench too.

It was much easier (so far anyway) than I expected!

Sucky babies will find their fingers or their thumb. Dd1 sucks her fingers and I can't get her to stop at age 6. So I gave sucky dd2 a dummy, which I will be able to take away when the time is right

Maybe you didn't have sucky babies upahill

I always said I wouldn't use dummies, then I had sucky, breastfed DD who was using me as a dummy day and night and fed CONSTANTLY (by constantly, I mean 1.5hrs feeding, with 30minute gaps between feeds, 24/7) - I stuck this out for 6weeks then the dummies came out and sanity was restored!

I took DD's dummy at 2yrs, after a few nights it was forgotten and now I can't imagine her without one. OP, you are doing great, you are not cruel and you have no reason to feel guilty, hang in there!

I think what put me off the idea of dummies before I became a mum, and it was an image that stayed in my head, was seeing a child at the leisure centre of about 4 years old walking around with a dummy and she was trying to talk with it in.

Then everytime I saw a baby it just looked like a giant plug stuck in them.

Both my eldest 2 where 2.5-3 when we did the whole dummy fairy thing and it worked a treat. ds3 however is a different story, he has sn and a developmental age of 2(he is 5) there is no way he would give up his 'doody' to the dummy fairy, he just wouldn't get it. And for the record his teeth are fine.

Those of you saying 'why would you?' have obviously never had an extremely premature baby who needed a dummy to learn to suck. They've also obviously never had a baby with such severe reflux that only a dummy could soothe them. Lucky you eh?

No Snowboarder we havent. But the OP wasn't talking about an extreme case and if I was in the postion of having an extreme premature baby I would have taken the advice of given a dummy if it was given to me.
We can only go from our own expierences on these boards.

I realise that Upahill, however a couple of people (yourself included) have been repeatedly asking 'why would you?' or 'never saw the point in them' so I was simply explaining that some of those babies that you have no doubt been rolling your eyes over with their 'face plugs' may actually have an underlying medical need for them. I think that's fair enough.

I took them off mine by 12 months. I really think it affects their speech, even if only used at night. The children I know who have kept them at night up to about 4 do have lisps. Anecdotal, but whatever.

Well done OP. DD was given a dummy and spat it out at 6 weeks. DS was a monstrous sucker! and actually picked up using a dummy at nursery (at 1 year old), we had tried before, but he hadnt wanted it. But saw a baby with it and took to it like a duck to water. ADmittedly it was late and admittedly I was a little concerned, but he had it only at night for about 1 year as I weaned him off my boobs and we took it away just after his 2nd birthday.

I had a dummy until I was 4, back then (70's) I don't think there was so much resistance research regarding them . My mum took it away and I can still remember it going and being upset. It didn't hinder my speech, I talked non stop, I don't have a lisp..

having said that I don't like older toddlers with them, but just my opinion.

Depends on your definition of "extreme" though upahill doesn't it? 5 hours of crying every night as OP's dc did seems pretty extreme to me.

Maras: it does affect the teeth. There is an article here which explains it simply.

Dummies are also believed to help prevent SIDS.

Shame they are called dummies in the uk really, rather that soothers or pacifiers. Dummy is I think such a pejorative word for something that in many many cases can be of immense benefit for babies and mothers.

Hope it's going well OP.

As Cuffing said, theirs a lot of research out there that suggests dummies can reduce the incidence of SIDS. That was enough to convince me. Yes they look crap in toddlers mouths but I will have not hesitancy in giving my next baby a dummy.