To accept charity help??

[redskyonexmoor]

I have Lupus and am quite ill. I have a support worker who is amazing. I am a mother of 4 and live with my partner. My support worker recently sourced funding (700) for us to have a break away, in this country. Also she is trying to find a grant for a new washing machine. My friend (who is male btw) thinks because im on a good wage (currently on sick leave) and so is my partner, that i shouldn't get any help. Didnt ask to be ill!!! Ans now feel like poo about my children getting a break they wouldnt otherwise have got!!!!

i'll tell your mate to fuck off tbh

YANBU and should reconsider your friendship with this person.

Stuff your horrible 'friend'! The reason your support worker was able to source funding for you to have a holiday was because that is EXACTLY what that money was for, and anyone who tries to make you feel guilty sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Is your friend an authority on the benefactors of charitable organisations? I suspect not, tell him to eff off and enjoy your break.

tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck :) have a nice holiday

I don't really understand - if you are on a good wage why would you not have gone away or replaced your washing machine?

Do you get extra carers to help you whilst you are away? Or a specially adapted house or something?

Some charities just want to give the people they help a boost and make them feel good at a shit time, if that is what this charity is about then fine. Does the support worker know that you are ok financially?

ain't much of a friend if they're jealous of a small holiday (it's hardly Disney World Florida, I bet!)

If the charity considered you ineligible on the grounds of income they wouldnt have rubber-stamped the offer so your "friend" can go stuff himself. In fact, I'd be asking him if he really was so jealous of someone suffering from Lupus. It's a wicked, horrible condition, my aunt has it, and if she were offered the opportunity that you have despite also having a comfortable income I very much hope that she would take it. I hope that you do too.

I'm always amazed on here how people still call peole 'friends' when they are so rude & hurtful

If you could afford to fix your washing machine and take your dc away yourself then you should.

But otherwise, you should bear in mind that charities have to justify the money they spend. They will have criteria that will have been approved by the charities commission, and the CC do make sure that the intended beneficiaries of a charity are worth enough. Whoever has donated the money to pay for those things obviously thinks the cause is worthy, so if you fit the criteria of an intended beneficiary, then you have no reason to feel guilty.

Lol. im on ssp at min and OH is self employed so its hit and miss. Trust me i feel guity as sin!! The charity is one that specialises in breaks for the ill to help them get better. And once we have paid for fuel etc toward my hospital apps (22 miles away) we are not that well off atm!! yes support worker knows how much we earn. Saddest thing is, im only 29 and a carer. Miss my job loads. Have always been a "giver". Now feel shit for accepting help.

The charity knows your financial situation and decided to award you this grant.

So I think your friend should shut up.

Is he suggesting that you lied about your finances? Because that's a pretty awful accusation.

Oh and its 4 nights at centre parcs. Kids are sooo excited, just hope my "flares" stay away, doubt it though.

My family & I have accepted charity help in the past and although we weren't well-off, we would have managed without it.

However, we were nominated for it and it was a very welcome gift which gave us a huge boost at a really difficult time.

Your friend is out of order and YANBU.

Dunno. Think he thinks they are means tested or something. Also he got pissy cos i get free prescriptions the other day! I dont fully agree with prescription charges etc but to say its not fair bla bla. Think i may fall out with him soon. I have supported him loads over the years without judgement.

OP- get rid of this person out of your life. Lupus is one of those conditions that is totally debilitating but that you cannot see, you don't need anyone making your life any harder.

This sort of help stops you or your family from going into "crisis" prevention is better than cure.

Screw your friend - stupid person! As others have said, you are entitled to it so take it. It's difficult for you and your whole family. You deserve a break and so do they!

Thankyou xx very very much. Feel a bit better now. Am in the process of trying to get DLA. So having this daily doesnt help. Will distance myself. Luckily i live 300 miles away. x

Hope you have a good holiday :)

If you're entitled to it then you're entitled to it.

Why tell your friend about your personal financial situation anyway?

Not that they sound like any kind of friend.

Yup. Tell him to jog on. What a nasty person :(

Enjoy your holiday and don't give his unpleasantness a second thought

OP

1. He is not a friend, please tell him to fuck off.

2. The charity has decided that you are eligible for help, so you should not feel guilty about it. The donors have given their money to the charity because they want to help people in situations just like yours.

3. Lupus is shit, so cut yourself some slack and enjoy your break at centerparcs - you and your family enjoy it, so make the very most of it and don't let some jealous, mean-minded little toad spoil it for you.

You and your family deserve it