not to base my new home on where my sister would like to live?

[somanymiles]

Some honest advice needed here. I am moving back to the UK after 9 years away. My Mum lives in S London and my sister just outside London. My husband has his dream job just near Trafalgar Square. My preference would be to live somewhere green and leafy - we have 3 children. BUT hubbie wants to cycle to work at least one day a week, and not to have a long/expensive commute. Anyway, we had settled on Streatham as having a lovely big common and within 10 miles of both our parents and his work place. When I told my sister she flipped on the basis that she would never want to live there. Seems she had been seriously considering moving to be nearer us when I returned to the UK, but wants to live somewhere much less urban, which won't work for hubbie.She thinks he is BU for wanting to cycle. I can't please them both, and while I'd prefer somewhere quieter myself, I was happy with our decision. Now my sister is barely speaking to me. What should I do?

Wouldnt go for streatham for your own reasons, nothing to do with your sister. With 3 kids, will you be going private? Planning to cycle once a week is not a reason to live in streatham. Lots of leafier places have decent commutes - try Beckenham, Bromley, Kingston, Worcester Park.

What would happen if your sis and her partner split up, is it his house? Ie I am wondering if her motive is that she is really angling to move in with you when you move back so she can leave a dodgy relationship? Just one thought.

I don't know anything about London areas, sorry, but I have a friend who lives in Kingston and its lovely and her husband takes a fast train into London every morning with very few problems!

Sorry but part of living in London with a family is having a crappy commute! On the days he doesn't cycle how is he going to get there? He has his dream job - I don't see why you and the kids have to compromise your home life for that. There are plenty of green and leafy places that are easily commutable (see other posters). I think your DH is being selfish for his one day a week

You also need to consider schools

Other than that - YANBU - your sis is being weird

You have to live where it's best for your own family. I also think its fair to consider DH commute in the equation.

But the biggest consideration is schools, I don't know how good they are in Streatham. A lot of people I know live just inside Kent for the schools, and there are fast trains into London.

Btw Streatham seems to be coming up, I was there recently and the High St has really changed from a few years back. Also has v good rail links into London.

I really don't think your sister has any say in the matter, tbh.
You live where it suits YOU and YOUR family - not your sister - who, let's face it, might meet an Australian and move overseas to be with him within a couple of years. SO no - don't base your choices on your sister at all.

I think you should do everything you can to help your DH cycle as much as he can, commutes are horrible things, and whilst cycle commutes in london aren't great, they are generally a lot better. For his mental health do it!

It was suggested above that he could either take bike on train, or keep one in central london. Neither of these are actually realistic, folding bikes are not the same and you cannot take any others on a train during commuting hours, and you will not be able to keep a bike in central london with any level of maintenance and you'll be unlikely to still find it still there.

It seems odd to base the decision on where you might live on your husband's desire to cycle in one day a week! (But also odd to base it on your sister's wishes.)

There are much nicer, greener places in South London than Streatham. Several have been mentioned on this thread. And if you look in SE London, there are loads of places that have trains directly into Charing X so your husband could get to work on the 4 days a week he doesn't cycle without having to change.

The bit of Streatham around the Common is lovely, some gorgeous houses and lovely quiet streets that way, but the High St still within easy reach. There are one or two particular streets overlooking the Common directly which would be on my dream 'wish list' of places to live.

I must admit I don't know much about the schools in the area, though, apart from one local primary about 10 mins walk from the common where I do some volunteering, and according to the head teacher it has one of the most deprived catchment areas of any school in the borough. Have to say the kids I work with are all universally LOVELY, though.

I love Streatham Common but Crystal Palace is even nicer. Definitely have a look round there if you don't know the area, you might be surprised!

A friend and her dh live in Bromley and he cycles to Leicester square most days for his commute. They too took cycling distance into London into account when they were moving from east dulwich.

It does seem a bit crazy to chooses an area on the basis of cycling one or two days a week - though more sense if it's a five days a week commute by bike.

Cycling to work is fantastic! DH is NBU at all, it will be great for his mental and physical health. I cycle in to central London 3 or 4 days a week. Cycling is enjoyable, while taking the train is tolerable at best and a complete misery sometimes.

YANBU. Where you live is your and dh's decision. Your sister doesn't have a vote.

My DH would have to cycle much more than once a week for that to be a major consideration regarding where we lived, and I would have assumed that cycling that infrequently wouldn't save much money as it would still probably be more cost effective to get an annual season ticket than pay every day.

YANBU, but agree Crystal Palace Park is lovely. I used to live there and mostly what I hear of Streatham is in the news concerning gang shootings/stabbings. Although I did go to a nice party there once, and that bit of common looks OK. Let's face it, you aren't far from violence anywhere in London...

I also used to live in Greenwich, and GP is also lovely. Great for people with small childer. IvanaHumpalot has wisdom with all her suggestions. I lived near Brockley too... feel like some kind of S London places to live stalker!

There are lots of nice bits of Streatham, but I agree Crystal Palace is nicer.

For those asking how he's going to commute to Trafalgar Square the hub of central London bus routes when he doesn't cycle, then the 159 goes straight there, or pretty much any bus to Brixton then the tube. FWIW the 3 runs straight from Crystal Palace to Trafalgar Square (it's generally how I get there)

We lived in Streatham for 12 years and DH cycled across London to commute for most of that time - he says it'll take about 1/2 hour in the mornings, and slightly longer to get back (because of Brixton Hill) It's actually quicker to cycle than get public transport as traffic on the A23 is pretty bad during rush hour. We're just up the road now in a nice part of a slightly crappier area (no choice unfortunately) Very few areas are irredeemable.

the furryone - completely agree!

OP - have you lived in central london before? are you planning on this being your forver home?

If so, I think you need to 'try before you buy'!

Most violence that makes the news about Streatham is gang related. If you aren't involved you're unlikely to have any problems. There's always going to be the odd mugging in a over populated urban area. It's not a specifically London/South London/Streatham problem.

Would a Brompton bike add a bit of flexibility to your plans? Your husband could do split commuting: part tube, part bike.

Costs about 600 quid, but that's peanuts on the scale of house-buying money.

No you can't please everyone, but your sister shouldn't even be part of the equation. Why would you take any of what she says into consideration? It's your choice for your family, and your sister sounds like it would be better for everyone to keep some distance between you.