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Original poster

Cat scratches and challenging cat

23 replies

hartley123 · 14/02/2012 19:49

I have a 15month old boy and have a problem with our cat. Any advice on the following:

Our female cat is 7 years old, I love her dearly, we all do but when our son was around 6months old she scratched him on the face (one scratch right near the corner of his eye). I do think that he provoked the cat so the cat got a telling off and we left it at that. We have tried keeping the cat and our boy apart, or the other way round making sure we fuss the cat when our boy is around but she has always been feisty and has scratched people unprovoked before. On Friday she scratch him again across the face and again it was on his upper cheek and above his eyebrow. Again dangerously close to the eye. It was awful and I was very upset. The warning bells have been going off in my head that this is not good. I was not in the room and usually make sure they are not together if I leave the room and remove the cat, but I was gone a second. The problem is that I also don't think this is anyway for a cat to live being shut out. Tonight my husband, the cat and our boy were all on the floor together. The cat was lying on her back. Our boy was not doing a thing to the cat and just sat up on his knees and looked over the cat (not leaning over her to any degree) and again she went to swipe him. I would say that is generally unprovoked, what do people think? As I say she has always been prone to protecting herself, instead of just walking away she retaliates. I understand that this is a natural reaction and she is just being a cat but 2 scratches so close to the eye just seems too much.

We would welcome any opinions or comments

OP posts:
busybusybust · 14/02/2012 19:55

Sorry but my (quite violent with strangers) cat was just lovely with both my kids - to the extent that she put up with tail pulling and some toddler-type mauling.

I think you should consider re-homing.

Birthdaybump2012 · 14/02/2012 19:56

To be honest and I'm sorry to say this but I would try and re-home your cat. I know you love her but she is scratching your son and it's not fair on your cat to be shut out if say she could be re-homed with people who would give her attention and care for her. Although I've never had a cat myself so I could be missing something.

ragged · 14/02/2012 19:59

It's the unprovoked swipe that would get me worried. I suppose you could try to find a behaviourist who could work with you all. It seems obvious that she feels very threatened by your son & at his age he won't change much any time soon.

PurplePidjin · 14/02/2012 20:02

I would contact your local independant rescues to discuss rehoming. You can't force your cat to accept your son as part of the family, nor can you explain.

In the meantime, can you gate off separate areas for baby and cat? Mine needs the breakfast bar to transition over the bunny gate, she can't just jump from one bit of floor to another, and I've seen the same from my friend's cat re her baby gate...

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 14/02/2012 20:13

I didn't get any further than you thinking that a six month old baby is capable of provoking a cat!

It should have been your job to protect your baby from the cat that could have blinded him!

Get rid of it!

igetcrazytoo · 14/02/2012 20:30

Cats can be very wary of perceived danger - and your cat obviously finds your baby unpredictable and therefore "dangerous". Most often cats will just remove themselves from the room, and sometimes they even move out.

I think its a real shame to rehome the cat, unless you absolutely must. Very soon your son will know just to give the cat a wide berth.

Can you find a place in the house that the cat can feel safe and undisturbed, and use stair gates to keep them apart. People often say you should NEVER leave a small child and a dog alone for even a second - perhaps this sometimes applied to cats as well.

Perhaps you should try posting this in litter tray? I'm sure there must be something you could try before you think about rehoming.

dandelionss · 14/02/2012 20:49

Get rid.It's a no-brainer!

ragged · 14/02/2012 21:18

I hope you can find a way to tame her down, it's just that she has so much form for just lashing out. :( It's in her temperment, isn't it?
You'll be a nervous wreck trying to keep her & toddler apart.
I imagine CPL might have some advice to help you; at least you'll feel like you tried everything before rehoming.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 14/02/2012 21:46

Although I hate to say it as I am a real cat lover, I would consider re-homing her :(

My cat is nearly 14 and I've had 3 children since I first got her, and she has been very tolerant and has probably scratched the children 3 or 4 times in total between them and that was only when she was very provoked. DS (2) is sometimes a bit heavy handed with her and wants to play with her and she never loses her temper with him, if she is fed up with him she goes off upstairs on our bed. I think she quite likes the attention.

I'm sure your cat is a lovely cat, but maybe is jealous of your little boy or has a short fuse.

georgethecat · 14/02/2012 23:01

A bit of behaviour conditioning with a water spray? usually does the trick quite quickly and is harmless. Squirt cat everytime she goes near baby so she'll give baby a wide berth. We did this when my brother was attacked a few times by our cat. Might be worth a shot?

LyssaM · 15/02/2012 00:55

Our evil cat, the one that had a vet and two assistants holding her down to get a urine sample (epic fail), the one that the vet refuses to try and get blood samples for because the cat has already scratched out enough samples of the vets blood, the one that was held down by welding gloves at the last examination, the one that chased off a doberman when it was under three months old...

She ran away from ds when he was tiny and he pulled her tail. She never laid a paw on him. Even now, as he is bigger and she is older, more evil and, to be fair, in more pain, she is very, very forgiving.

It may be kinder to rehome.

ZhenThereWereTwo · 15/02/2012 00:57

You could try these maybe?

JuluLu · 15/02/2012 02:49

Rehome your DS. The cat was there first.

recall · 15/02/2012 03:37

Water spray is good advice, I only had to give mine 3 squirts to stop it jumping on the worktop.

The claw cover is good advice too - damage limitation ??

Original poster
hartley123 · 15/02/2012 09:09

Water spray sounds like a good idea for the interim. Re-homing is something that we thought was the most suitable idea but thought a few ideas from mumsnet would help first. We have a behavioural specialist number too which we were going to ring, have spoken with other professionals who seem to think it is the cats jealously and general feeling of insecurity that is driving it. I love my cat but my child comes first.

OP posts:
FedUpOfTheBunfightsSeaCow · 15/02/2012 09:16

Rehome your DS. The cat was there first.

Bwahahaha

mrstiredandconfused · 15/02/2012 09:22

I'd contact your vet in the first instance and see what therapy is available. Also consider Feliway - it might help to calm her down a bit.

Rather Blush we occasionally hiss at our two. Our girl hissed constantly at dh when she first arrived until he hissed back - she never did it again. Rightly or wrongly I'd be tempted to get on your hands and knees with ds "underneath" you (ie protecting him), make eye contact and hiss. She needs to know that you will protect him and that there has been a change in the chain of command.

Disclaimer: I am not a behaviour specialist AT ALL - it just seemed to work for us (boy cat went through a phase of attacking girl cat, we tried this and it stopped happening with "aggression" although they do still play attack each other)

cozietoesie · 15/02/2012 10:29

Interesting that you should say that mrstiredandconfused. I read/was told back in the mists of time that the ultimate cat deterrent was a sharp hiss when they commit the offending behaviour. (Apparently, it's what mother cats do to warn their young offspring of serious trouble and it not only acts as a warning but underlines the 'hisser''s position in the chain of command.)

I tried it only once - on my last cat when he was being a bit rumpity. He fled as if he had been scalded and was on best behaviour for the rest of the week. It seems to be a pretty serious action in cat terms so I really wouldn't recommend it except in the most extreme circumstances - but maybe, hartley, you could give it a go if you can do it when the cat has that look in her eyes as if she's 'contemplating'?

MixedBerries · 15/02/2012 10:40

We have the same situation OP. DS is only 4 months but my big old male cat, age 17, hates him. Usually gives a wide berth but sometimes will swipe. We're deciding what to do too. Much sympathy. It's breaking my heart as a 17 y o cat isn't going to be rehomed, is it?

OhBrotherWhereArtThou · 15/02/2012 12:24

I agree with those who think you should rehome.

Our cat is truly horrible to absolutely everyone, except the DCs. She would run away before she would attack either of them (they're 4 and 2)

It's a shame, but I think things will only get worse if you leave them.

worldgonecrazy · 15/02/2012 12:32

Very soon they will learn to be tolerant of each other - either she'll give him a good swipe, or she will learn to back off.

You say that there was an unprovoked swipe. However, we can't know for certain that there were some unknown signals of threat to your cat, given unconsciously by your son. Cat's don't swipe without reason. I don't think any human speaks cat language well enough to say for definite that your cat did not feel under threat.

It is scary when they get close to the eye, but despite having a few swipes whilst settling down together, we've never had an actual eye scratch, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

It is only a few more months before they will be best of friends. My 2 year old now feeds our cat and I think that has helped their relationship. We do get the occasional disagreement, often when my DD is between the cat and any escape route.

Children need to learn how to behave around animals.

mrstiredandconfused · 15/02/2012 12:39

Thanks Cozie - fwiw our two are now 4 and we've done this a total of 3 times - it's quite effective! (although I have been known to run after and hiss at bastard ginger tom who attacked my little boy cat. Embarrass myself? Moi? Blush )

TheOriginalNutcracker · 15/02/2012 12:43

I have this problem with our 12mth old cat, but my dc are older and so they know what she is like. If i had a baby then i'd rehome the cat tbh.

Very interested in the water spray approach and I might try that with Gypsy.

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