To advise DH to just cut & run completely?

[gigglepin]

So MIL is dying, wont be too long now

There have been loads of conversations, and discussions between DH, MIL, FIL & BIL regrding wills, and the family home.

FIL has for years and years run up debts, horrendous debts. MIL for the last 5 years has kept a tight ship with the money side of things. When she has gone, FIL will just let everything go to shit.
No doubt about it, the house will be repossessed and there will be allot of debt.

BIL (aged 36) still lives at home and DH wanted to make plans, and legal documents to safe gusrd the house. Its impossible.

He is getting stressed about the waste of it. Also about his brother becoming homeless.

So, i have gently suggested to DH that he advises his bro to get a wee flat and move out ASAP. And that they both cut all ties with their dad when thier mum has gone.

Its just not worth any of the stress and upset and arguments its out of thier control and so they need to step away.

don't bail him out. you can make that clear to your husband. However not bailing him out is miles away from cutting contact.

you can be a bit selfish about money but you don't need to be selfish about time.

You have gigglepin and for while, during the worst of the grief I sincerely hope those good old habits remain.

Ultimately though, it is the beginning of the end of an era. It has to happens sometime, unless your DH intends on buying the house eventually and keeping it as a shrine (which would be odd).

I hope it doesn't happen to soon. All you can do is be there for your DH. Create new routines.

Whatever happens the house itself will change anyway, and not just in the obvious, expected way... x

Thanks Aldi, i know you have been where i am going, and i am grateful for your advice. It must bring up some unhappy memeories for you, so its really nice of you to share. x

Good and bad gigglepin, always a bit of both. x

Just a thought, but could your bil buy the house from fil, if they are both happy to continue living together. Or if you can afford to, both brothers buy the house from fil - then whatever he does with the money, once he's repaid his mortgage is up to him, but your dh and his brother won't lose the house they are attached to.

dont think they can afford to tbh, bil has said he doesnt want to live there when she goes.

They have all gone through every possibility.

anyway, what will be will be, they will just have to tackle it one thing at a time