to want another baby now we're older and more chilled?

[holidaywoe]

I have two boys aged 6 and 8 who I off course love to bits. I enjoyed both pregnancies and had two pretty easy, uncomplicated births (both 3 hours 2nd a lovely homebirth) BUT..........I do feel like we spent their babyhood in a whirlwind of rushing to the next stage IYKWIM.
Now the boys are older and they get on like best friends as opposed to brothers AIBU to think about having another or should I just be grateful for what I have and not rock the boat?
Financially we would be fine and I have a great family network around me but a small part of me really wants to go for number three.

I feel the same, I'd love another, but my two are 12 and 14, and I'm 40. Just wondering if I'm too old and the gap is too big. They would both love me to have another. DH is undecided - worried about the cost.

When DS4 was born our older boys were just turning 9, 8 and 6. We have all loved every minute of it. The older boys have benefitted from understanding and loving a baby when they're old enough to get it. We get to enjoy one final, less frantic, hurrah as parents. We still get the occasional doze in bed because the baby is now two and goes down stairs and plays and watches telly with "the boys". Hey, we'll even have in-house babysitters in five years. DS4 gets so much attention from everyone.

Only disadvantage so far has been his behaviour at nursery - he does things, and wants to do things, that most two year olds can't imagine. And the staff haven't got much experience with dealing with

Oh, hotel rooms. Had to start using youth hostels and book a dorm if we go anywhere!

Oooh go for it - i have 3dds 18, 14 and nearly 3. I have had a child in my 20s 30s and 40s and have to say that the first 2 pregnancies were easy and normal deliverys but the last was v hard - gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and csection but I would go through it all again in a hearbeat. She is an absolute joy and I have def appreciated and loved every single second of the baby / toddler stages this time round, the older 2 love the little one to bits and are fantastic with her. Financially she has been no worry in fact we are finding as they get older they are getting more expensive, my 18 year old (who does have a pt job) is costing us a fortune at the moment and looks to get worse with uni coming up soon. I have no regrets, go for it :)

We went for it - dd1 was 9 and dd2 was 6 when dd3 arived. It's lovely. CHallenging at points with children doing 'big' things as well as 'little child' stuff but totally lovely. We both really enjoyed dd3's babyhood.

Oh thank you for this thread OP! I am 20 wks pregnant with DC3 - DC1 is 8 and DC2 will be 6 soon. I could not have coped with a 2 yr gap between DC2 and DC3...I found a 4 and 2 year old exhausting! Now they are lovely, and so independent and settled at school I am looking forward to enjoying this one, as I was a very anxious new parent, and then it all passed by in a blur with DC2 as I was busy with a toddler as well. Now I am 39, more quietly confident - I hope!

As others have said, think initially DC3 will get whisked about to tennis, swimming, Cubs and be fine, but I do worry about the gap as they are get older. But then there is 3 years between my brother and me, and we had NOTHING in common as teens, nothing to do with age.

My lovely DH is pragmatic, and says "OK, fair enough, it means white water rafting as a family is out of the question for a few more years, but were you planning to do that anyway?" Probably not :o)

YANBU. We had DS 3y ago when the DDs were 15 and 16 and he is our world. Go for it!

I'm loving this thread, so many positive stories - and here's another one, I have a 13 year old, an 11 year old and a 15 month old and I've loved every minute of it so far, and so have the older ones. I always knew I wanted three and in all honesty I'm glad we have a gap now, I suspect three with a small gap would be really hard work, whereas I have two very able willing helpers who dote on their little sister.
I'm definitely definitely more relaxed this time round, and thoroughly enjoying her and yet the negative comments we had when we first shared our news made me wonder whether we were really going to struggle with their ages.
People would say why do you want to do the baby stage again when yours have grown up - but if you love the baby stage as I do, why is it a bad thing to do it again?!
So I think if it feels right and you're all happy, then go for it!

When my two DDs were 12 and 14 I had a my DS.

I always said he was like Christmas presents on boxing day.

have a search there are quite a few thread re going from 2 to 3.

i decided against it one reason wsd dh home late and no family so poor baby ( and poor me!) would have to be lugged about after dinner cub et al especially now kids are older. obviously might not be an issue at all for you but was another negative for me.

YABU

Are you mad?!

You probably rushed the baby stage for a reason. It's hard!

If I were in your position I would go for it. I think purplepansy is right, you rarely, if ever, hear someone saying that they regret having their babies...well in moments of stress or jest you might but not really! Good luck!

I treated myself to an extra bonus baby at 34 and shall now be insisting my grandchildren are born at least 4 years apart to mothers over 30 as I discovered this is by far the most fun.
As aposed to 3 under 4 to an under 25 year old mother back in 2004 the nutter that I was

Heswall I'll be 34 when I have my extra bonus third baby!

But I'll also have a five year old and a two year old... Help or Hurrah?!

I'm 37 and have an 8 yr old a 4 yr old and a baby. It's exhausting. I get up, feed baby, get kids ready for school and take them, get home, clear breakfast, feed baby, have a couple of hours to do housework (of which there's plenty with 3), feed baby, collect from school. Then 3 nights out of 5 there are after school activities. Youngest 2 getting dragged along to 2 if those and needing to be entertained. The third is swimming for the big two so have to get them in and out and changed for two different lessons with baby in tow. This baby does not sleep well so doing it all on minimal sleep. I'm shattered.

I spend half my time loving this babyhood without the stress of wondering if I'm doing it right all the time. The other half I'm wishing it away wanting to get back to a place where I get a decent might's sleep.

I had a 7yo and a 9yo when dd was born and they doted on her 2 years later ds3 doted on to

Ff ds1 nearly 18,ds2 15. Dd nearly 9 ds3 6

And it works well I have my own baby sitters . They both fits in younger siblings .

Yes doing things yo suit both age gaps is harder especially holidays / days out .
Though think been worse if dd been an only having number 4 meant she had someone to play with

If you want another child you should go for it. There is a 13 year gap between my eldest and youngest and I finally had a girl. She wasn't planned and had just been told one week previous I was on a very early change. I was so shocked and cried solidly for 2 weeks. She is the best thing that has happened to me. The older 2 say she is spoiled and get more than they did but they aren't bitter, love her very much and they spoil her. We are better off financially and more laid back and I am loving every minute I spend with her even though she's 8 now. I feel she was sent to us and I can't stress what a difference she has made to all our lives. It is your and dhs decision though not the family in general.