to think that, at 41, my chances of

[MitchieInge]

. . . ever actually and lastingly changing myself for the better are a bit rubbish? Where would I even start? :(

Gosh that's not true. You can change yourself at any point in your life.

At 40 I had a baby, launched my own company and started on getting healthy.

What do you want to change?

YABU

I am 39 and have many plans to be famous my ambitions and hopes are still as strong as when I was 18.

everything really!

less selfish, more organised, better with £££, take more responsibility for self, tidier

they are quite big things I think?

All teh advice I have ever seen that works advises little steps

I don't mean things like jobs or attaining, I don't know, skills or whatever

I mean things that feel horribly immutable by now, sort of calcified traits

yikes

I don't think they are that big. I think you think they are big because you have, to you, a long list.

So pick one. Say...more organised. And figure out how to be more organised. Once that's sorted, go on to the next one.

Is that all?

'better with ££, more organised, tidier' that's easy. First do some reading here and on moneysaving, collect info and tips, then take steps, then make sure you keep up.

'less selfish' - are you sure that you are? I think those who really are, won't admit it or want to change.

you're probably right, small changes can be made and are worth making even if they don't bring you up level with everyone else's dares

or maybe I want permission to carry on being quite rubbish at most things!

You're wrong!
I'm 40, and I've consciously made a personality change after someone pointed out something out to me.
I also bought a diary and am trying to be more organised and have certain chores I do daily to stay tidy.

dares? I think I typed level? WTF

If I had to pick one thing I think it would be to treat other people more nicely, but then all the other personality flaws would have to be addressed first so ?

Of course you can. If you have the self awareness to realise there are things about yourself you'd like to change then you are more than capable of doing it. I'm 43 and recently I've made a real effort to break out of certain ruts I've been in.