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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is petty and unreasonable behaviour

15 replies

torchpaper · 14/02/2012 14:20

Was going to write twattish but wasnt sure it would be appropriate for a heading.

I am leaving an already short staffed department (education job) in a month. I am moving on, no crime in that, and have been unhappy and feeling overwhelmed there for a while. I was planning to leave on a happy note and not "burn my bridges". Im not suggesting relationships have been bad to this point, but In know some people in the past have left "with a bang". So my plan was to leave on a pleasant goodbye and maybe even be available in the long term for work cover or marking at casual rates. As a favour as well as for my benefit financially.

Anyway, my problem is that all of a sudden, my colleagues have started to behave like twats.....pulling offers of assistance with things they were scheduled to do for me/help me with, ignoring emails, pulling out of agreed booked work over the next month, demanding I do all sorts of extra stuff before I go and refusing to cover work that will happen after I leave. Its an education job so we are talking timetabled work.

Im inclined to burn those bridges and just say when the month is over, its all over and walk away.

Its not a crime to leave a job. Im on to other part time work as people do. AIBU in thinking this is pretty petty behaviour? Im wondering if I will make it through the month, I wont cope with the load at this point.

OP posts:

cornskilt · 14/02/2012 14:23

That's awful. How childish.

MissSayuri · 14/02/2012 14:31

Childish. Move on and burn bridges. What horrid colleagues. Well done on the new position.

OrmIrian · 14/02/2012 14:31

Of course it is unreasonable but if the place is so short-staffed I imagine they are feeling as overwhelmed and unhappy as you, and the words 'rat' and 'sinking ship' are crossing their minds Just smile and rise above and look forward to your escape. I agree it's a shame though.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 14/02/2012 14:32

Sounds like they are a bunch of twats. Take the high road, do your best for the next month and be as pleasant as you can manage but don't worry about what happens after you are gone, it's not your problem if they are refusing to cover your stuff that's for your line manager to sort out.

ConstanceChatterley · 14/02/2012 14:38

That's not a nice situation to be in, I think deep breaths and a lot of head holding up high will be needed to get you through the next month. Maybe have a treat lined up to look forward to at the end to get you through (though by the sounds of it the treat will be leaving the job...).

Are you a teacher? From your colleagues perspective, if you have been unhappy and overwhelmed in a short-staff dept, it is very likely that they are too. And now with you leaving and if there is no replacement in sight, they might just be equalling you leaving = increase in their own workload/stress. They may also be resentful that you are managing to leave and they're not. Though they're going about expressing that in a very childish way.

nickelDorritt · 14/02/2012 14:42

It' probably the reason why others in the past have left with a "bang" - it sounds like they're trying to hound you out now.

how horrible. :(

Original poster

torchpaper · 14/02/2012 14:53

I may end up going out on stress leave at this rate

OP posts:

mojitomania · 14/02/2012 15:01

OP just let them get on with it, you'll be out of there soon. Don't rise to the bait.

JustHecate · 14/02/2012 15:01

Well, they're the ones that will suffer in the end, aren't they? Their childishness will simply make things more difficult for them after you're gone, if they're trying to mess up work now, just to be spiteful.

I'd suggest just doing your job for the next few weeks and letting it all wash over you. You'll be gone and they'll be stuck with the mess they created by being so childish.

Or you could tell them that.

And when the month is over - it IS over, so yes, just walk away.

Were you planning on doing anything else?

mewantcookiesmenocanwait · 14/02/2012 15:02

YANBU and they're being twattish but IME it's often worth rising above these things if there's a chance of getting casual work in the future. If others have responded to the childishness and 'left with a bang', then, by rising above it all, you could end up being the only person they can go to when they need someone for casual work. They're v unlikely to be this childish if you return to help out in the future - they'll conveniently forget what twats they were to you and view you as an old friend.

Original poster

torchpaper · 14/02/2012 15:04

hecate I was planning to do some contract teaching amd marking in June..might not now

OP posts:

troisgarcons · 14/02/2012 15:05

Have you been through your Faculty Head or SLT?

JustHecate · 14/02/2012 15:06

If it's a case of they need you more than you need them, then I'd be telling them so.

Bugger being treated like shit for daring to view a job as a job and not being so personal and childish about it!

Original poster

torchpaper · 14/02/2012 15:06

Not yet troisgarcons. I will talk to the HOD after half term.

OP posts:

PurplePidjin · 14/02/2012 15:16

Would it ease things to make an overtly public display of gratitude for how wonderful they've been to work with - cake or biscuits for the staffroom type thing, or nominate a pub and offer to buy the first round near your leaving date? I seems a bit like rewarding the crap behaviour but in an understaffed, over worked environment a bit of appreciation might be what's lacking...

YANBU about shitty behaviour in a shitty situation, btw

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