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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being precious/entitled/grasping?

82 replies

Kveta · 14/02/2012 09:57

it's my 30th birthday today.

My family have forgotten that it's my 30th.

My friends, for the most part, have forgotten that it's my birthday. (not my 'OMG' pals if you're reading this and feeling aggrieved :o)

Some family have also forgotten the birthday aspect of the day, not just the 30th.

My sister (who forgot my 21st) thought I was 29 today, so I am erring towards forgiveness there... :o

My parents have said that my birthday isn't important anymore because I have children now (am 24 weeks with DC2), which is fine. I won't stop sending them nice presents and cards, and plotting stuff for their 60th birthdays, but can see where they are coming from I suppose. Alright, I really can't see their viewpoint at all, it's odd to me.

I am just wondering if it's grasping/entitled/other MN buzzwords to be a bit miffed that I have had a couple of cards and a few FB messages, but nothing from my brother, grandmother, other relatives (aunts mainly), close friends? I would have liked a couple of cards/text messages, that's all.

I am talking about friends/family whose birthdays I always remember btw, and who I send cards/presents (where appropriate) to. People who I make an effort for, because I love/like/tolerate them.

(DH has made a big effort btw, and DS is totally unaware of the whole thing, except for the cake in the house which he had his beady eyes on all morning. And one of my friends made the effort to hand deliver a card yesterday, which was really lovely of her, and I am very touched by that. So I feel very loved and fortunate to have them being nice to me :))

AIB massively U to feel this way?

OP posts:
SchrodingersMew · 14/02/2012 10:36

Bytheway The're just in a big box in the wardrobe, for some reason when I try and throw them out I feel bad. We really don't have room either and I am living with family (4 of us and DS in a 2 bed), meant to be moving soon.
Apart from that, I really don't keep anything, I like my room to have as much space as possible so I throw everything out every now and again.

mintychocciechip · 14/02/2012 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missmiss · 14/02/2012 10:37

Happy birthday! I would feel a bit put out too, tbh. But your DH and close friends have remembered - that's the most important thing :)

sashh · 14/02/2012 10:38

Happy birthday.

I don't think I got one card - but I did spend the day riding a Harley round a very noice piece of Australia. If it is important to you, make sure people know or plan something nice for your self.

LilacWaltz · 14/02/2012 10:38

30 is a 'milestone' birthday?? Is it? Is that right? I never knew that, learn something new on mn all the time!

katiecoocoo · 14/02/2012 10:40

Are you sure they're not all doing the pretend to forget then jump out at your surprise birthday party thing?..wishful thinking?....Happy Birthday either way..theres still hope..its still morning..hope you have a lovely day :)

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/02/2012 10:40

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SchrodingersMew · 14/02/2012 10:42

Janitor He tries and is kind natured, he can be very loving too. :) Very huggy and kissy which I guess is sometimes to the extreme but by nature he is a lovely cunt man.

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/02/2012 10:45

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thingiebob · 14/02/2012 10:49

Hi

I don't think you are being 'princessy' or childish. It's horrid when people forget your birthday particularly close family. Yes 30th is a big birthday as far as I am concerned.

I'm glad your dh has spoilt you. Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day and don't let other peoples thoughtlessness ruin it.

SchrodingersMew · 14/02/2012 10:50

Unfortunately it does. :(

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/02/2012 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchrodingersMew · 14/02/2012 10:53

I don't mind, 21 as of 12 days ago.

themildmanneredjanitor · 14/02/2012 10:57

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SchrodingersMew · 14/02/2012 11:01

I have told him. :(

I do love him very much though and he does try, he's just a bit thoughtless since he lost his job and hasn't been able to get another one.
Before that he was great. :(

TheSkiingGardener · 14/02/2012 11:03

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear Kveeeeeeeeetaaaaaaa
Happy birthday to you!

Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks Thanks

(and your family are mean)

Kveta · 14/02/2012 11:21

Bytheway we hoard cards too :) I love looking back on them when I stumble across them. this may be why our house resembles something out of an extreme hoarding documentary. Hmm

:o Shirley thanks

cake has been eaten and I'm feeling about 98% less feeble now :o

thanks everyone!

OP posts:
LadyWidmerpool · 14/02/2012 11:24

YANBU, there is nothing wrong with liking presents, cards and messages and if you can't have them on your 30th when can you? Hope you have a great day and that you can spoil yourself a bit.

bleedingheart · 14/02/2012 11:25

SchrodingersMew 21 is too young to settle for this state of affairs. He needs to buy or make a card. He could get your childs footprint on a bit of cardboard or something. It really is the thought that counts in this case.

Groovee · 14/02/2012 11:26

I organised my own 30th. It was the only way it would go the way I wanted.

georgethecat · 14/02/2012 11:33

YANBU

Its not about money, its about celebration and cake! which doesn't take much effort in my opinion. I wouldn't care how old I was or how many kids I had. In our family we would celebrate every religious holiday for every religion as well as bdays if my mum had her way - that woman loves to bake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

halcyondays · 14/02/2012 12:15

Yanbu and happy birthday!

diddl · 14/02/2012 12:24

YANBU.

Can´t imagine my parents/sibling not acknowledging my b/day tbh.

Card &/or phone call is fine.

Even my MIL ILs send me a card every year.

diddl · 14/02/2012 12:28

"turned 21 the other week, my DP hasn't even bought me a card, nor has he bought me a card for valentines and has told me I wont be getting one for Mothers day, even though this will be my first."

Can I put my first ever "leave him"?

Nagoo · 14/02/2012 13:31

Why no card? Cause he is an arse? Or some other reason?

OP YANBU. I was pg on my 30th too, and it was a bit crap TBH.

Since we had DCs (all at the same time) my sisters and I don't bother with Christmas for grown ups. But birthdays we still do cards and little presents. :)

It is mostly about the Dcs these days, but YANBU to be a bit pee'd off.

I find that I get remembered because I make a bit of a fuss about going out or something to celebrate. People forget it you don't gee them up a bit.

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