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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my partner is being unreasonable?

6 replies

hattieboo2012 · 13/02/2012 19:17

I've posted about him before. Perhaps it would be best to read my previous post on him for background as this sort of follows on from problems I've been having with him. He works 5am to 7pm every day and then does a Saturday night shift from 4pm to 7ammsunday morning. He's in bed all day sat to prepare for night shift and then he sleeps all day Sunday after he's done his night shift. He's self employed so can choose his own hours. Every two weeks he goes out with his mates. My partner is in his 40s and we live together. No kids. My beef is tgat the only time we spend together is from 7pm to about 9:30pm weekdays when we are both shattered from work and then for a bit on Sunday evening. I've tried asking him if he can take a Saturday off to spend with me but he won't and he always says that I sjodnt moan because he takes me away a lot. So the thing is when he goes out every fort ight with his mates he doesnt come back til 4am in the morning. I feel this is disrespectful and have told him but he says it's hurting no one. I also told him I'm not overreacting as my friends say it's disrespectful and he said 'I dk t give a monkeys' am ibu?

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 13/02/2012 19:21

Well, if my partner told me that his friends thought I was being disrespectful then I would say I couldnt give a monkeys too.

Going out once a fortnight with his friends when you have no children doesnt seem much at all tbh. How is it being disrespectful to you?

TidyDancer · 13/02/2012 19:29

I think YABU tbh. It would be different if you had DCs as they would obviously not see him during the week if those are the hours he works, but the fact is you don't, and you do, as an adult, have those hours with him. And as he points out, you go away a lot together.

Once a fortnight with his mates is not too much at all. The 4am wouldn't bother me as long as he didn't come in rolling drunk and I trusted him. I'm aware some people will be bothered by that though.

I don't think his actions are disrespectful really, his reaction to you saying that though, well it could be a little bit more compassionate perhaps.

TidyDancer · 13/02/2012 19:31

Thought tbf, if I knew my DP had been asking his friends for verdicts on me and their opinions were being drawn into a discussion of ours, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't give a monkeys either.

Shutupanddrive · 13/02/2012 19:31

You say you go away a lot, how often is that?

squeakytoy · 13/02/2012 19:35

If he is self employed, why on earth does he choose to do that ridiculous saturday shift at all??

MrsSleepy · 13/02/2012 19:36

YABU for having 'beef'

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