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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do next?

31 replies

Mrswhiskerson · 13/02/2012 17:48

Dh who has severe depression has just been rejected for ESA allowance and my work hours have been cut in half due to the buisness not bringing in enough money , dh has pretty much given up on life in general apart from care of ds when I am at work if I am in the house I do it all but anyhoo
so he can't support us and now I am left to pay the mortgage food and all bills and credit card debt and my pay is barely going to stretch to the mortgage,
I am panicking I have tried google etc but can't seem to get anywhere
has anyone been in a similar situation? I feel things are going to spiral completely out if control soon and the whole situation dh everything is making me Ill
to top it off five people this week have told me I have lost my sparkle wish they wouldn't it is like pointing out a persons spot or baggy eyes.

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 13/02/2012 17:51

Has he appealed against his ESA disallowance?

Try This

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:00

Appeal, Im willing to help all I can, mine was refused and I appealed, I also have DLA even though Im now working full time.

Your husband had to go worse case scenario, he can't cook he forgets its cooking and burns it, he cannot get up without you telling him to get up, he cannot bath without you running it, he cannot go out the house as he is scared and gets panic attacks.

I put together a ten page appeal and won, it takes time but he can do it.

MissVerinder · 13/02/2012 18:00

Definitely appeal- a lot of claims that should be paid get rejected first off.

Also, try the CAB for advice on dealing with bills you can't pay right now.

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:01

Also I appealed on the grounds i was seen by a nurse practitioner someone who is qualified to treat but to diagnose I got there full name and printed off their qualifications. I did not attend the appeal, I won and my money was back dated.

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:01

Not to diagnose.

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:02

As soon as you appeal they reinstate his ESA to what he was getting before. He can appeal by phone and they send the form out.

LilacWaltz · 13/02/2012 18:02

Hold on fabby, op hasn't said her husband can't do those things. You aren't encouraging her to lie are you??

MyLittleMiracle · 13/02/2012 18:04

Go straight to citizens advice bureau, If he has severe depression like you say, he is not only entitled to esa, but is also entitled to DLA, too, for lower rate care, it may only be an extra 70 pounds a month, but everything helps, and it is npot taken into account in many calculations ie, housing benefit.council tax benefit. Have you applied for these? As its not just for people on benefits, but those on a low income or with high outgoings can also be assisted? If anything, its worth applying anyway isnt it? Citizens advice would be able to tell you more though.

Original poster
Mrswhiskerson · 13/02/2012 18:05

Thanks for link I will try that, dh can't be arsed (hiswords) he just goes on bitter rants about the country and government etc etc so as usual it's up to me .

OP posts:
queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:06

If you go to your local CAB they have people whose role is to help clients appeal. They will help you fill the forms out and they make sure you use the right language (that's actually quite important in winning appeals).
They really are very good at this sort of thing, if you feel like you need help. They'll also make sure you're claiming anything else you would be entitled to.

politico · 13/02/2012 18:09

Appeal

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/ has good tips.

Speak to CAB and the welfare rights officer at your local council. MyLittleMiracle has a good point about DLA. Mind may also be able to help you.

Let your MP know what is happening, they need to hear how crap this system is or it will never get changed.

Don't give up hope!

queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:09

x posts with littlemiracle

Point out to your husband that the CAB are completely independent. They have no affilliation with the govt at all. If he doesn't feel up to going in there is a telephone service too.
I know it can feel overhwelming to have to tackle this sort of thing, but it's exactly what the CAB are there for. They will give you as much or as little help as you need to sort this out.

politico · 13/02/2012 18:11

ALso, get advocacy from someone in CAB when your DH goes to tribunal, much more likely to succeed than going on by yourself / himself.

fuzzPigwickPapers · 13/02/2012 18:11

Mind if I hijack?

DH was rejected for ESA too, apparently a prolapsed disc isn't enough Hmm

Appeal is next week - didn't get much notice at all. Just been too weak to do anything for it so we are probably screwed. (having one partner with various agonising injuries and the other partner with depression is really not a great combo)

I'm not particularly asking anything, I wouldn't know what to ask. I probably won't even be able to go as there's nobody to watch the DCs.

queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:11

On politico's point about the MP - CAB have a Social Policy board. They campaign for change to stop things like this happening. The more clients they have on record the stronger their position. If your DH were to go to CAB he'd be helping to get these processes changed.

Original poster
Mrswhiskerson · 13/02/2012 18:11

Dh can't do those things he can barely get out of bed on bad days, he forgets appointments or just cancels them does t wash or eat and is snappy paranoid or hyper a lot of the time.

OP posts:
queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:12

Then get in touch with your local CAB about a Home Visit. It is something that is in their remit, they just don't do it all that often.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 13/02/2012 18:12

Brilliant advice so far. Maybe a charity that deals with mental health issues would be able to help you as well?

fuzzPigwickPapers · 13/02/2012 18:13

Our local CAB has shut down, do you think there's a way DH can still get an advocate?

politico · 13/02/2012 18:17

fuzzPigwickPapers Most councils have (had??) welfare rights officers, they might be able to help you / refer you to someone locally. Other than that you could phone CAB's headquarters and ask what they recommend?

good luck.

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:18

ESA medicals are not done by qualified doctors, he needs to appeal and give worse case scenario. You should have came here before he went so I could have helped you. Its impossible to live as a depressed person, that aside Im better and not through therapy through time and getting the right medication.

I never left the house for three years other than to walk my dog, I had no contact with the outside world at all. I didn't wash for weeks, never brushed my hair.

queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:19

as Politico said (are you a CAB volunteer?)

If you use the Cab website you can search for your nearest Bureau. Fine the nearest one to you that is open and phone them. They will be able to help you find out if there is someone in your area that can help you deal with it.

troisgarcons · 13/02/2012 18:20

If your hours, therefore money have been cut, then you should be entitled to an increase in tax credits?

www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/TaxCredits/Paymentsandentitlement/entitlement/DG_181270

worth putting your details into this?

queenrollo · 13/02/2012 18:21

*find

and should have said that post was to fuzzPigwickPapers

FabbyChic · 13/02/2012 18:22

You don't need an advocate its a simple process to appeal, but you have to know what you are doing. The target for ESA medicals is to throw 9 out of ten off of ESA its their quota they have to do it