to think dh should be responsible for his own pants?

[deaconblue]

dh was away on business last week. He got home Friday and left his suitcase in the bedroom. I assumed he had unpacked and left the case lying around (which is usual - it gets moved when I get sick of it and nag him to move it). This morning he called "shopping bags, where's the washing?" "erm, what washing?" I replied since I had got all the laundry washed, dried and put away on Sunday. Turns out he has not unpacked and all his underwear is in his case still dirty.
I am a SAHM and one of the duties we agreed would be mine is the washing, ironing etc. I am happy with this arrangement but think he should be responsible for getting his own pants to the laundry bin! So he's gone off to work today in yesterday's grundies.

Of course he should have unpacked and put his stuff in the laundry basket

he only has a few pair of pants then!? I think DHs should be responsible for all their own washing personally. In your case he should have put it in the laundry bin if he wanted it washing.

Yanbu. When I get fed up of nagging I dump all clothes, clean or not, on his shelf. When he asks where stuff is I just say I really couldn't say! I work 2 days and SAHM rest of the time.

'If it's not in the washing basket, it doesn't get washed!' Is what I say in our household. I'm a sahm and do the housework, laundry etc but I draw the line at picking up after everyone. Tell him to wash them himself!!

Yes, he should.

It would be the same as having to pick up dirty laundry off the floor.

Even my 7 year old knows better.

Everyone should use the laundry basket for dirty clothes once they are old enough to do so. Which is round about when you are potty trained and using proper pants.
OH does our laundry, if it isn't in the basket it isn't washed. Teens do their own emergency washes.

YANBU, serves him right.

YANBU he is responsible for getting his clothing to the laundry basket if he wants it washed

YANBU. Did he take all his pants away with him except the ones he wore on sat and sun? I wonder if we have excess pants in our house because I bet we have over 20 pairs each.

YANBU. My DH leaves clothes in his suitcase as well. But on a normal work day he does put dirty undies in laundry bin though it did take years of training. Shirts, jumpers and t shirts are all fair game for being picked off the floor by me however.

But how's this for odd. Sometimes DH leaves clothes in the boot for weeks. Then when he needs to clear the book, he dumps everything in the garage including clothes. Why he not just bring back to the house? Garage is detached from house at the end of 65 foot long garden. That maybe the answer but clothes are ok for me to retreive when I go to feed the guinea pigs. Grrr....

There is a more general, serious point here which is about where one draws the line between being a SAHM, happy to pull one's weight, and being a personal servant. If you are not careful, this line can blur. My DH will watch me carrying bags of shopping in from a delivery whilst sitting sipping his coffee, leaves his dirty underwear on the floor every night like a preteen, and his wet towels in the morning, never opens or shuts a curtain and leaves out his supper dishes if I have gone to bed before he gets home (although they make it as far as on top of the dishwasher). At some point, respect is lost and it is very difficult to turn this around.

So YANBU and you need to stand firm!

My ystance is also 'if it's not in the laundry basket it ain't getting washd'. I do pick up random abandoned items of dp's clothing from various and unusual places around the house (socks in the kitchen, running gear in the spare bedroom, jumper in the cellar..it goes on) but they get dumped in the corner of our room next to Dp's wardrobe.

I suspect he is making a passive-agressive point about me being at home on 'holiday' as he refers to my maternity leave. I've chosen to ignore it and happily watch him go to work in jumpers with food stains on. And then I go back to bed and MN while he works!

Marmite - I too had a 6 month holiday when DD was born. What did I do all day?!!

YABU Everybody knows male underpants are capable of making their own way to the laundry basket given enough time. The exercise is good for them which is why they have to be left so far away from said basket, preferably on the floor to give them a bit of a climb into the actual basket (they can't jump).

YANBU

Yanbu, but I would have known my dh would never have unpacked a suitcase in less than a week after his return.

If its not in the laundry basket it doesn't get washed. This is The Law.

YANBU

We too have in excess of 20 pairs each (including children). What is the norm then?

Doesn't everyone pack extra pants when they go away too?
3 pairs for a weekend. Quite a few extra for a week. Very rarely use the emergency ones but need to have them for peace of mind/choice.

If you want it washed, you put it in the laundry basket.

I have about 20 pairs. Dh is a tight wad who only buys pants when he is literally pantless

For some strange reason ex used to really only have one pair of jeans that fitted him.
I had to ask him to take them out to be washed or he would wash them almost as a single item.