Is he being unreasonable? DP.

[alessthandomesticgoddess]

We had plans today to go to a big indoor soft play centre and out for a meal afterwards for DP's DS' birthday. He turns 3 tomorrow and we only have him until 10am before he goes to his mum. I'm not feeling too well and when DP woke me up it was 1pm. He told me we're not going now as the DC's had drawn on the hall wall and floor with crayon and were punished by going to their room.

Is he being unreasonable? On one hand they are 3 and 3.6 and know it's naughty to draw on anything other than paper. On the other I feel that this is his birthday celebration and DP really should have been watching them, especially as the hall is right outside of the living room where DP was.

Should I leave him to decide or talk him into us going?

I think cancelling a birthday treat because the kids drew on the wall when he was supposed to be supervising them is well out of order

Do you think it's a punishment of convenience because he doesn't really want to take them?

No, he isnt being unreasonable. You should not have to watch every move a 3 year old makes. They are old enough to know not to draw on a wall, and I think that not going to soft play is a fair enough punishment actually.

I don't think a child of 3 year old can know the difference between paper on a table and paper on a wall - they just will not get that one is ok to scribble on and the other isn't.

If you give small chidlren under 5 year old pencils or pens then you need to watch them to make sure they only use the pens etc where you want them to use them.

Y dp IBU

I'm not sure if he just doesn't want to take them. He was all up for the idea two weeks ago when I suggested it and still up for it yesterday. I don't know what could have changed in a fourteen hour period apart from the DC's driving him loopy. Mostly I just feel a bit miffed that I wasn't up to help (I can't control my bad days) even though if things got too tough he could have woken me up.

ivy they are 3 and 3.6yrs old

Unless they have SN that the OP hasn't mentioned, of course they're old enough to know you don't scribble on walls.

However, as birthdays only come around once a year...I don't think it's fair to use that as a punishment.

Our DD knows not to draw on walls. She insists it was her brother who has never had to be reprimanded here but we don't know what goes on at his mother's. I'm inclined to believe her but since there's no proof I have to say they have all played a part.

No SN.

I also think your DP has gone over the top to stop something for a birthday!

It's too harsh.

A birthday is a birthday.

Send them to their rooms, fine, but don't cancel a birthday treat!

that is your DPs temper talking rather than a suitable punishment.

IMO a 3YO should be supervised with drawing stuff. They would know it was wrong, but 3YOs do things that they are not supposed to do.

If its the first time he is being unreasonable. They are only little. By all means punish them but maybe by just making them sit out for 5 minutes. Which to be honest would probably have more impact that missing a whole day out, I doubt a 3 year old would even understand the concept of that punishment anyhow?

He's known to go a little OTT but that's his upbringing where he wasn't allowed to do much showing. Usually we talk about it together and find a middle ground on what to do. I think he's probably been so overwhelmed for 8 hours he wanted a bit of him time so sent them to bed.

I've talked to him and made him see it's too harsh. We're getting the DC's ready and going as planned at 3pm :)

Do much showing? I meant do much at home.

Thats great. Have a nice time