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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my dd to be taught this stuff..

103 replies

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 09:46

She goes to a C of E school. There is no choice here, very rural, and all the schools are C of E.

Last year she came home telling me that her RE teacher had told her that Bonfire Night was unlucky....mildly amusing maybe?

But today she told me that she was a Christian. That Christians hate Jews.

I am horrified! She was amazed, and a bit worried when I told her that I knew some Jewish people, and that they were perfectly lovely. She is 7.

This is all wrong...what can I do?

OP posts:

RiskItForABiscuit · 13/02/2012 10:15

Brought up as a catholic too and bonfire night being unlucky is new to me. I don't think it's a common belief.

I'd definitely speak to the teacher. That your daughter cried over it would make me suspicious that there's more than misunderstanding on her part.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2012 10:17

Oh I meant to say I was raised a Catholic too and have never heard of the unlucky thing.

I'm surprised because my Mum wouldn't even pass you on the stairs and if you put a new pair of shoes on the table, she'd have a coronary

Original poster

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 10:29

Hmmmm, there is one teacher that comes in to teach RE, specifically. This is the teacher that has told her these things.

The last head was Catholic, which confused me somewhat, C of E school and all that, but are some high church dudes becoming Catholics these days? He brought a lot of new peri teachers with him....guitar teachers etc. Hmmm.

I have asked her whether it was "in the olden days" and she says she doesn't know.

OP posts:

FedUpOfTheBunfightsSeaCow · 13/02/2012 10:35

Ask the teacher. Sounds like your DD misunderstood/wasn't paying attention properly or something.

belgo · 13/02/2012 10:35

Why would the fact that the head teacher was catholic confuse you?

You do seem to be fundamentally suspicious of the school, and I think it is possible that your dd is picking up on this, which is why she got so upset.

Original poster

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 10:49

Because it's a C of E school, so I assumed they would employ a head teacher who was C of E.

I am not remotely suspicious of the school.

OP posts:

CharminglyOdd · 13/02/2012 10:57

It may just be the one teacher - I had one (at sixth form, so we were beyond the age of taking the teacher's word as Law) who told all us that if our parents hadn't married in church then they weren't married and we were illegitimate

She was one oddball out of many, many teachers who were lovely, tolerant set a great example to us. When the HT found out what was happening (there were other, more specific, shocking things she said) she was swiftly shunted aside.

SuchProspects · 13/02/2012 11:03

Even if it was a misunderstood history lesson, I would be concerned if my DC came home from school declaring out of the blue that they were a particular religion (I get the impression from your post that your daughter's declaration is at odds with how you as a family would categorize your religious belief). I don't think schools should be involved in converting children - whoever pays for their upkeep. So a quiet word about why your daughter is coming home talking about herself that way might also be appropriate.

SnapesMistress · 13/02/2012 11:07

Speak to the head, I think it is slightly more likely teacher is an oddball if brought in specifically for RE by (I assume) a primary school where RE would normally come under the main teacher.

Abra1d · 13/02/2012 11:13

I am Catholic and would say your daughter has got the wrong end of the stick.

We have always gone to Bonfire Parties. Most of my Catholic friends have done, too.

mummytime · 13/02/2012 11:15

Go and talk to her teacher, and if you don't get satisfaction the Head. C of E has no problem with Jewish people, I am sure your local Vicar would be horrified. My local Cathedral frequently has Rabbis (and other religious leaders) attending special services.
This kind of attitude is totally unacceptable in this day and age (never mind the fact that I believe it is illegal).

Himalaya · 13/02/2012 11:21

Go and have a word.... And come back after half term and tell us the response .

Original poster

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 11:22

I am not remotely religious, and believe that people can make their own mind's up at a suitable age, which is much older than 7.

I have friends of all faiths, some more "religious" in their faith than others.

It is one woman who comes in to teach RE only. The head that brought her in has now gone, and there is someone "depping the gig" until the end of term, and then a new one starts, so a bit chaotic really. Maybe, she will follow the last head to his next school.

Just very sad that small children are being taught intolerance in any form really, and I guess it's up to me to unravel it. She was shocked that I had Jewish friends, which is really, really sad.

OP posts:

belgo · 13/02/2012 11:26

'Just very sad that small children are being taught intolerance in any form'

you don't have evidence of that. 7 year olds misunderstand things, I know my dd does.

And you say that you're not suspicious of the school?

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2012 11:26

She is not being taught intolerance

She's being taught about Religion and History

I don't imagine for a second she was told not to tolerate Jewish people

As for the Head being Catholic, you do realise you don't have to be C of E to work in a C of E school don't you?

And if she was shocked that you have Jewish friends, perhaps it's time for you to start speaking to her about diversity etc?

Dustinthewind · 13/02/2012 11:27

Please talk to an adult about what has happened, and don't rely solely on the word of a confused 7 year old.

Diamondback · 13/02/2012 12:08

Are you certain she's picked this up from a teacher and not from other kids who are themselves confused about what being a Christian is? I remember being told all sorts of rubbish by other kids at school: that is was sinful to sit with your legs crossed in church; that Catholics worship statues; that if I stepped on the cracks in the pavement I'd kill fairies...

It is not part of any Christian teaching to hate Jews - I'd be very curious as to who told your daughter it was. I'd also be making the school aware of this, to give them the opportunity to speak to all the children about respect for other people and other faiths and counteract any playground nonsense.

BuntyPenfold · 13/02/2012 12:48

I was told at school by a teacher that 'All Catholics must be quite stupid to believe that stuff - don't you agree girls?'

But that was a while ago: I hope teachers are not still getting away with this sort of thing.

Original poster

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 12:49

Mrs Hobson told her these things. She has come to speak to me and her dad again this morning. She is very clear that Mrs Hobson has told her this stuff. She is extremely upset about it.

Mrs Hobson I have now found out, no longer goes into school, since the last head went.

Seems to me that Mrs Hobson may have some ishoos.

OP posts:

BuntyPenfold · 13/02/2012 12:51

I presume that isn't her real name OP?

belgo · 13/02/2012 12:51

I do hope that's not her real name, if you are accusing her of anti Semitism.

zipzap · 13/02/2012 13:01

Even if she has misunderstood the lesson she has - for whatever reason - picked up the wrong message from it - namely that christians hate jews (and that she is a christian - sounds like OP hasn't brought her up to be anything in particular until she is old enough to understand and make her own decision but apologies if i have got the wrong end of the stick on that bit).

The bit of the lesson that has stuck and has made an impression is that she is christian, christians hate jews and therefore she should hate jews too.

Even if this is not what was taught, (and hopefully this is the case!) it is definitely worth a mention to the teacher or the head to say what your dd has got from this lesson, that there may be others who have also reached the same conclusions and please could they do a short bit in school just to correct those conclusions - namely that christians do not hate jews, nobody should hate anybody, that you are not a christian just because you go to the school, that jesus was jewish and there are some very nice jewish people out there. etc etc etc

If your dd is anything like my ds they tend to take anything the teacher says as gospel (no pun intended) and believe that teacher knows best. For something like this, it's all very well mummy saying that the teacher was wrong but they need to hear it from the teacher too to really believe it!

mummymeister · 13/02/2012 13:02

If you dont want her to be taught religious values then dont send her to a c of e school. simple as. There is always a choice even in rural areas. if you do send her to a faith school and you dont have a faith then you have to accept that sometimes she will be told things you don't agree with and quite a lot the time she will get muddled about what she has been told - she is still really little to have total fact recall. People with no faith often send their kids to faith schools because on the whole (yes dont flame the generalisation) they get better results.they then moan that their kids are talking about religion and views. sorry but it is a very small part of her life at school. tell her what you know to be true and right and to give a sense of balance.

Original poster

singingprincess · 13/02/2012 13:04

I am not accusing anyone of anything.

Hopefully now that this person has gone, the problem is resolved...at least in this school at this time.

As IF I would use real names.!!!!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2012 13:05

I honestly think you're actively looking for a problem here with the school

As people have repeatedly said, you can't trust an emotional 7yr old to be exact.

If you can't speak to the teacher then I suggest you speak to someone else at the school and have them put your daughter straight.

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