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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Gifts!

27 replies

BBisBBack · 12/02/2012 18:10

My DS is 2.4, he has lots of little friends as i socialise with friends who have children and so gets invited to quite a few bday parties, we have a largish family and although we don't really buy for extended family we still have a lot of people to buy for in the course of The year.

I was discussing this and ways we try and save money with an acquaintance today at a birthday party. I stated that I have a box in my home that has gifts in ready for these events. To explain, this box has children's gifts and adult gifts and comprises of things seen on sale, any gifts we have received that are duplicated, unsuitable or unwanted (i.e. would go to waste) as well as bits i have seen in cheaper stores such as pound land (books dvds i even found an xbox game in there!!).

I should be clear and say that these items aren't tat I only buy things i would be happy to receive and the items are all in as new condition.

The person Stated she thinks that is horrible and "tight". I get her perspective that the gift isn't purchased solely with the recipient in mind but it is always appropriate and IMO nice. So who is being unreasonable? I just thought it was a good way to save money!!

OP posts:

Thefoxsbrush · 12/02/2012 18:12

I have a gift box for non-immediate friends and family. It pays to be organised! Always put thought into closer family and friends ' gifts though.

EdnaClouds · 12/02/2012 18:14

You sound very sensible to me. Nowt with that.

troisgarcons · 12/02/2012 18:14

I think you are wise and sensible.

I think your friend is a bit of a muppet TBH.

If my children received a duplicated present, one would be recycled out at the next party and a similar amount of money would go in their bank account.

inchoccyheaven · 12/02/2012 18:17

I have always done this and I also have a book that I write everyone we buy for in it and then put items by their name and how much it cost to keep track of it all. Nothing horrible or tight about it, just sensible with money and they are jealous

theincredibequeenofwands · 12/02/2012 18:18

Is a good idea.

I'm not actually organised enough to do such a thing but I like your style!

Why shouldn't you pick up stuff when you see it in sales? My son's mates always get Lego from me as presents. I don't give it much thought, I just buy 'Lego'.

EmilyStrange · 12/02/2012 18:22

I have exactly the same and actually people tend to get nicer presents because I buy good things in the sale that I couldn't afford normally. Your friend is an idiot

BackforGood · 12/02/2012 18:23

Of course YANBU in having the gift box (who doesn't would be my question) but you do learn that there are a lot of funny people in the world who hold strange views about this kind of thing, so your mistake was to tell her about it.

minceorotherwise · 12/02/2012 18:28

I thought everyone did that?

PreviouslyonLost · 12/02/2012 18:31

BBisBBack I too have a BOX (cupboard) such as yours...TKMaxx is a godsend for filling it btw.

Personally, we live in the middle of nowhere, back of beyond, and no present-purchasing shops within 100 miles, so this is my way of dealing with the umpteen, surprise, and not so surprise, Birthdays and other gifting appropriate events.

YADNBU.

5Foot5 · 12/02/2012 18:33

When DD was little and got invited to lots of birthday parties I did something similar. not quite as organised as you (wish I had thought of that!) but when dear, departed Woolies had special offers on childrens' toys and games I used to stock up ready for the next round of parties.

Original poster

BBisBBack · 12/02/2012 18:34

Haha thanks all! I like to think of them as thoughtful gifts just from a smaller stock i shall not share my frugal secrets in RL again! Lesson learnt!

OP posts:

cwtch4967 · 12/02/2012 18:47

I do this and make use of BOGOF offers on toys etc! I do the same with birthday cards when I see offers or nice cards etc.

ENormaSnob · 12/02/2012 19:05

Yanbu

She sounds a right cock.

soverylucky · 12/02/2012 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsdontcare · 12/02/2012 19:09

I have a gift box too but I think it's one of these things your not supposed to tell people, particularly if they are likely to be on receiving end of a gift from the gift box!

RuleBritannia · 12/02/2012 19:12

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a box marked 'Presents' into which I put things I don't want. I certainly remember who gave me what and ensure that I don't give their gift back though. Useful for Secret Santa gifts.

Molehillmountain · 12/02/2012 19:14

Yanbu. I have a well stocked gift drawer and am always amazed when friends say they're going out specially to get a party gift. But I imply (although never lie) that I don't use it for everyone-some people are strange and would feel devastated that the gift wasn't chosen specifically with their dc in mind. I choose an appropriate gift from my own personal shop! Please can I add that this is one of my few organisational triumphs born out of my tendency to forget about parties until the morning ? It does work out cheaper though as I never buy gifts for the drawer at full price.

Ample · 12/02/2012 19:29

this is very sensible imo as I do the same.

Yes I put a lot of thought into gifts when buying specifically for close friends and family but hardly a week goes by without dd being invited to a party so it pays to be organised.
Little boys and girls don't know the difference anyway whether you have stock-piled gifts beforehand. As long as they are appropriate.

I buy on sale, BOGOF, or even if they are really great gifts that dd enjoys and I think okay that's a good gift idea for her friends. A good buy is worth purchasing again and again.
If they are new, boxed and haven't fallen off the back end of a truck then why the hell not.

Nothing wrong with being prepared. I do the same with birthday cards and gift wrap aswell.

Your friend is a tad snooty. Lots of people do it. YADNBU here

Molehillmountain · 12/02/2012 20:10

I recently bought some immaculate and brand new gifts from the charity shop. Ironically, someone's now going to feel that I've been over generous!!!

GavisconJunkie · 12/02/2012 21:09

YADNBU I have a similar box, & one for cards. Even for the reason that it saves many a last minute panic it's worth it.

SuePurblybilt · 12/02/2012 21:10

Everyone has a Present Drawer. Your friend is wronger than wrong.

NorksAreMessy · 12/02/2012 21:14

'tight' is just jealous-speak for sensible.

I thought everybody did this

MateyMooo · 12/02/2012 21:20

i have a pressie cupboard [wow]. refilled in the sales every year. on birthdays i look in my cupboard and select a pressie for that person carefully. if there isnt something suitable i'd then go to the shops. BUT whats the difference so long as the recipient likes it?

roses2 · 12/02/2012 21:31

I do this too but don't tell people about it. There are a lot of snobs out there.

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 12/02/2012 21:55

I do this. I buy things throughout the year - I don't think it's mean because I only put things in that I would buy anyway.
Sometimes I add gifts that have been given to me that just aren't me. I do put a post-it note on the gift to remind me who gave it to me so I don't return it to the original giver.

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