To feel jealous of bf's nanny

[Whirliwig72]

Arrrgh one of my best friends who lives locally is getting a ft live in nanny to help with her 3 year old and new baby. Her hubbie earns a lot more than we do and their outgoings are less therefore it makes sense for them to do this but I am so envious!

I'm a mum of a preschooler and a baby who runs a small business from home ( me not the baby :o ) I have a workaholic husband who I hardly see in the week, so it can get a bit stressful round here sometimes!:) It feels like friend and I are going in different directions and I guess I'm most worried that I'll see her less since she won't be coming round on playdates or wanting to go together to go to play groups as often. I don't have many local mummy friends I get along with as well and I will miss her. Her plan is for the nanny to look after the three year old most of the time leaving her time to spend with the baby. Previous to this we've had quite a tight support network in helping one another as neither of us has family locally.

Is it reasonable for me to feel a bit green eyed and redundant or should I just get over myself be delighted for her and try to schedule lots of play dates at hers?

How lovely for her three year old. Her mum has a new baby and suddenly here's a new woman to take care of her, whilst her mum takes care of the new baby.

It's really nothing to be jealous of, OP.

Would your friend like to get involved with your business if she has free time?

This could work out well for you both, she might have more time and be more relaxed. If you end up going down different paths then so be it, it might happen later anyway if she chooses private schools, her kids start doing hundreds of expensive activities etc.

Having said that one of my old friends had a live in Nanny and chose private schools which I am opposed to in general yet we are still friends because we make the effort to ignore the school issue. The Nanny never made any difference really.

Maybe you could work on getting more help for yourself, could you afford to put the older one in preschool for one more session, could you get the workaholic H to calm it down a bit?

That''s an Idea imperial :)

She can still come over on playdates can't she - either with or without the nanny?

I don't think this needs to come between you. Even if she needs you less in a practical way, I'm sure she'll still need you as a friend.

"mummy friends" ?

Could you nanny share for one of the days and the nanny look after your toddler alongside the 3yr old and you and your friend can then have lunch together(with the babies) or go for a walk etc

"Play dates"

"Mummy friends"

Have we morphed into NetHuns overnight?

I do feel sorry for the 3yr old in this though. I'm sure most parents bend over backwards not to make their kids feel pushed out when a baby arrives.

Mrs pepper - yes I hope she does still come over. My son is very attached to hers so it will be sad for us both if things change. Combine - yes the preschool issue is a tricky one, we moved to the area we live in last year and were a bit late putting DS's name down for his free nursery place. We are on several waiting lists but it will prob be September before he gets a place :(

Try not to be negative about it, it might work out really well. It may mean she's able to do more with you, not less :) She & the nanny might also be open to the nanny having your little one for a few hours here & there so you can get some work done or go out for a ladies lunch

I misread the thread title and thought you were jealous of someones fanny...

Surprise - I'm sure that's a solution too. The nanny has an 18 month old boy too though do you think it would be taking the piss to ask her to look after three boys? Don't want to push it :)

Rhonda - that's priceless! :o

I saw BF's fanny too and thought oh so there's something else we need to worry about now?

She probably values the friendship as much as you do, and will certainly keep seeing you.

Unless the nanny takes the 3 yr old outside the home from the moment she wakes up, to the moment she goes to bed, the 3 yr old won't feel left out at all, it depends how well they manage the whole situation (and nanny can look after the baby allowing mum to do something special with the older one, for instance)

It will be great for you too.

If you ever need emergency childcare or babysitting you wont have to go through agencies and references checks. At least you -and your dcs- will know this nanny well.

Faith I'm so glad it wasn't just me! Competitive fanny envy - I dont think I could cope.