DD here, Need some mum's opinions - mobile phone.

[TinkerSailerSoldierSpy]

Ok, so I read through the mumsnet boards even though I'm not a mum but this is my first post. I'm in a situation with my mum, so I was wondering who you thought was being U? Probably me but I thought I'd put it on here to make it definite and so my mum can clearly see my side of the story. Ok so here goes, (please don't be too harsh, only 15)

I have had my phone for a year now, never lost it for more then a few days and that's just me being forgetful. However I have now lost it for 2 weeks, I can't find it ANYWHERE! I knew this sort of thing would happen sooner or later because I'm getting quite stressed with exams atm and I allways get forgetful, clumsy etc when I'm stressed.

About a month ago, my parents put it forward that I could either have a £5 increase on my pocket money or a new contract on my phone. Now I barely use my phone, if I want to contact someone I use Facebook coz it's free, so I thought, oh I'm just going to lose my phone at some point and I don't really use it, so I asked for the increase in my allowance. They then gave me the contract instead, as apparently that was what they were trying to get me to have, but they wanted me to feel like it was my choice

I'm not trying to be ungrateful, I just think it's a waste of money, I won't use it and DON'T use it so really what is the point other then them spending money on me that I don't need, so now I feel really guilty! So now that i've lost my phone with the contract on, my mum has gone crazy and is yelling at me that I must find it NOW or I've got to get a new phone (a bad, cheap one) and new contract, that I must pay for myself.

So AIBU, to just NOT WANT the contract at all, to think that if I couldn't find it in 2 weeks, one afternoon won't be enough to find it, and that my mum should just cut me some slack?!

Any advice is welcome.

YANBU

Your parents were wrong to give you a choice, that wasn't a choice and they should have listened to what you wanted.

It does come across as a little bit 'Oh I can't find my phone and can't be bothered looking for it as I don't care about it' - your parents obviously care about you having a phone so that they can contact you when you are out of the house and I guess that these days, that's reasonable. If it's a good phone, they are probably annoyed that you don't care that you have lost something expensive.

Turn the house upside down this afternoon & try to find it. If not, then use the old one for now. Tell your parents that Chippy said they owe you £5 a week more pocket money as that is the choice you made :)

Babytv, that's a good idea :)

Discuss the use of reverse calling with them if they're so keen for you to be available all of the time, would be cheaper than a contract in the long run. IMO you are not BU to be annoyed at having the 'choice' forced on you, that's actually pretty lousy of your parents as you are old enough to make that choice and were responsible in saying no, but YABU if you aren't looking for it.

Why parents want teens on contracts I'll never understand! It's asking for trouble whether teen is responsible or not!

2 separate things going on in my view.

1. regarding the contract. Your parents were unreasonable to get it having given you a choice.

2. regarding the phone. If the phone is yours then it is yours to look after and be responsible for and yes, you should be the one to either find it or replace it if lost. If you have only just told your mum it has been missing for 2 weeks then I can understand her being annoyed since she is of course still paying the contract.

If you use your phone so little then why don't you swap to PAYG? Then there is no contract to be tied into so parents can yell about paying for it when it is lost etc. On O2 you can set it to automatically top up with credit when you get below a certain amount so they don't have to worry about you running out of credit and not being able to contact them.

confusedpixie - depends on the contract; all four of us (even though DD1 is away at university) are on a 'business' contract. It means that the offspring can pretty much call and text until phone-operating body parts spontaneously combust or fall off - all our calls and messages to each other are free, too.

I'd echo what all the others are saying, Tinker - just make a superhuman effort to locate the absent telephone; if you are seen to be making every effort, it will help appease the parentage. Having had two daughters who seem to have lost every personal effect/bus pass/id card they've ever bloody owned, I know that feeling of numbing inevitability when they report the latest misplacement

DD2 recieved a certain fruity phone for Christmas (no product placement here, oh no) - I am under the impression that it has now transplanted itself into some sort of new external vital organ. If she has to put the damn thing down, she starts to show signs of going into circulatory shock. Christ knows what they all talk about that is so damned urgent - you wouldn't find me attached to a communication device, spouting drivelly bollocks at all hours of the day and night

YANBU about being miffed with the contract, if that wasn't your preferred option. A contract for a person who rarely uses the phone is money down the drain.

YABU for not turning the house upside down looking for the phone. My DD is 17 and gets all "meh" about lost things, whereas I go a bit psycho I'm afraid.

You can't cancel the contract, they will bill you for the unused months. As others have said, get a replacement sim and use it in an old phone until you find the lost one. Good luck with the search!

BP, im 30 and meh about lost things. Unless it is car keys, which are usually discovered 'lost' at 8.50 in the morning in which case i turn into a psycho maniac until they turn up 5 mins later (and always where i then remember throwing down the night before)

You go and look for that phone properly right now, young lady .

Seriously, I think you should try and find the phone.

I don't think they were right to put you on a contract you didn't want, but still, it's probably your less-than-enthusiastic searching for it that is really ticking them off. They're highly aware of the money spent on both the handset and contract just being a complete waste for two weeks. They're probably worried it's not just lost at home, but gone completely.

If it's totally lost, the phone needs to be blocked in case it isn't at home & someone took it. But you won't need a new contract, just get a replacement sim (costs a couple of quid).

when you mislay a phone, the first thing to do is call it and listen for a ring

by now the battery might have run down

Piglet, problem is, because i dont really use my phone, i didn't realize it was missing for 4 or 5 days...

I occasionally mislay mine, so I have set the alarm to chime every day, when I will be in the house to hear it.

This is an odd thread. Our dc are 17 and 13.5. They literally have to be surgically removed from their phones. DS trashed one, a friend gave him an old one and sims were switched - no need to change contracts. Go to the shop and check out your options.

If it's in the house, check down sides of sofas, sides of your bed, through the stuff under your bed and all your pockets. Should be more important to you, our dc need to have their phones on them, charged, when they go out so they can keep in touch. No phone, no social life, lie to us, no social life.

It's tough being 15 - our ds hated it - but it does get better and you do need to find your phone and be honest with your parents. Did they insist on the contract becaue you were not keeping in touch?

I used to be quite bad at picking up the phone when they rang, but that was because I would put it on silent during school and then forget to turn it off silent when i got back...

If you already have a contract, you are pretty stuck.

What you can do is get the provider to send you a new sim card and you can put this into a cheap phone.

That's what DS had to do when he lost his phone with a year to go on the contract.

DD2 is surgically attached to her phone. DD1 is remarkably careless with hers, so it wouldn't surprise me at all that it wasn't missed for days. Sometimes I think DD1 could lose her head and not notice for a week.

Now go and look for that bloody phone. Properly.

I agree that this is an odd thread. Dog with a bone and all that but why not a paygo? I appreciate the matter being discussed is the lost phone but I'm not going to tell you I think your parents are being unreasonable on the basis of the info given up until now. I can't get a sense of the reasoning behind their decision.

all parents of teenagers are unreasonable, surely you know that?

dd1 (13) has managed to lose her phone in the house several time (sigh) last time it was wedged down the back of the sofa in a space I didn't even know existed! we only found it as it makes a noise when the battery is low, this was 12 days after she had last seen it!

YANBU for being cross about the contract if you said you didn't want it

I agree with the other suggestions about getting a new sim and using the old phone until you find this one. Also go and tidy your room properly, if your room is anything like dd1's the phone will be hiding in the pocket of a pair of jeans that's currently lurking in a corner somewhere!

good luck :)