To be annoyed about my flatmate?

[annoyedpersil]

I'm sorry for what some may think is a petty AIBU but I'm a bit pissed off

Having just returned from a weeks training with work, I return home to the shared flat I rent with a friend.

Upon arrival there are ashtrays everywhere and empty cans and loads of washing up left. Flatmate is no where to be seen nor is she answering the phone.

I've decided not to bother cleaning up as I haven't been here for a week. So I decide to unpack my suitcase and do a wash.

I go to the washing machine and get my liquid tabs. When I left last Sunday, there was a brand new box and one with two liquid tabs left. Flatmate has been using mine even though she has her own box of powder.

I've no problem with sharing however, I did tell her NOT to use anymore than one per load as they are very expensive.

i go to the new box (the other must have been thrown away) and there are 12 out of 20 left... So in 6 days, she has managed to use 10.. So I'm guessing she has either:

Used 2-3 per wash
done 10 loads of laundry.

AIBU to go mental at her when she finally decided to arrive?! Or shall I say nothing at all, keep the peace and in future hide my tablets and not have to worry about this?

speak to her straight away, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to broach the subject

YANBU. Pick up all the ashtrays and cans and put them in a pile outside her bedroom door. Also, hide your tablets.

I wouldn't worry about the liquitabs - more about the state of the flat when you got back, or is this pretty standard?

I'd go mad!!

If there are full ash trays everywhere, there must have been a party. Ash trays spread their smell so I expect the flat smells, too?

Just to put things into perspective a bit:

I once got back from holiday to find that my flatmate had raided my wine stash (a case I'd got for my Birthday) and opened 6 out of 12 bottles, and only had a glass or so out of each. They'd all been left around the place and all needed tipping.

There were ashtrays everywhere.

The washing up from a HUGE curry he'd made before I left was STILL in the sink (14 days later - I vomited while washing it up)

He'd had girls round and used my bed.

He'd dragged my duvet downstairs and it had fag burns all over it and stank of beer.

When I got home (at 6am after a 26 hour journey) I happened to be wearing steel-to-capped boots. He happened to be sleeping under my now stinking duvet on the lounge floor.

He happened to get a swift kick to the temple and ceremonially thrown out of the building. Fucking arsehole still owes me £300 and cost me a lot more.

I feel your wrath as I too have spent years living with flat mates. Think she is taking the piss and she should think again about trying to get away with being so disrespectful. Don't clean up her mess. Don't have a full blown argument either, will just add to the stress of your living arrangements and relationship. I would however be firm and stress to her how it made you feel and whether she is going to replace your goods which she has basically stolen. You need to law down law as it were ASAP otherwise it will happen time and time again.

asiatic, she has a bit of a temper so as much as I'd like to say something, I feel it could more hassle than it's worth.

MrsYamada, I'm thinking this could be a great idea! I do believe I should start hiding my stuff and not being so nice when it comes to sharing. She is a hypocrite. When I moved in she told me the flat mate she lived with before did nothing and she did it all......

JarethTheGoblinKing, Sometimes. She does pull her weight but I do feel like I'm doing 75% I just can't stand living with dirty dishes and clothes everywhere. It drives me mad leaving it there to build up.

*toe

God.. that story outs me massively

JarethTheGoblinKing Good for you for kicking him out. I wish I could do the same I'm thinking my best bet here is to save and move out.

tbh, I've always hidden anything of value or anything that I'd be annoyed at being forced to share. Butter and milk will always get used, loo rolls, toothpaste etc. Cupboard stuff can be imaginatively hidden.

Leave the almost empty box in the cupboard and don't replace it (take a few more out first) and keep your stash somewhere else. If you leave a few in the cupboard, or just the empty box, it won't occur to her to go looking elsewhere.

I'd move out, there's no way I could live with someone like that - I couldn't have, even when I was younger and I've lived with some classic twats.