13 year old friends house party??

[acceptableornot]

My dc are much younger so perhaps I'm out of touch with reality , but my neighbours daughter has just shown her the facebook page of another girl in their year at school.

The girl who is 13 is pictured with a house full of friends, all drinking. The parents were there as there are pictures of them too with these kids which I guess is better than the alternative, but do all parents of 13yo's let them drink so openly?

My post obv makes me sound like a judgemental middle aged old biddy (and I'm not, honestly!) and obviously like most people I'd discovered alcohol before I was legally allowed (sorry Mum ), but there's just something that makes me feel really uncomfortable about seeing these photos of what looks like an 18 year old's party when in fact they're all 13.

So AIBU? Is this just what I need to expect my dc are going to want to do as they get older, if so I need help burning my judgeypants sooner rather than later

but do all parents of 13yo's let them drink so openly?

What do you think OP?

Clearly you'll pick up from my post where my thoughts lie on the subject worraliberty, but like I've said my dc are much younger so I wanted to see how other parents with young teen children approached the whole drinking thing.

No I meant do you honestly think all parents of 13yr old children let them drink...either openly or not based on that one Facebook page?

Of course they don't.

My soon to be 13yr old DS is more interested in playing with his wrestling figures and doesn't even go to parties...let alone drink alcohol either with or without my blessing.

Parties for 13-15yo girls round here take the form either of a few friends going round the birthday girl's house for a film and a take-away or of a few friends meeting in town, birthday girl equipped with enough money to buy the others some burgers at McDonalds. Not exactly the high life around here, but peaceful.

Dd is 15 and so far there has been nothing to approach. Far more heavy drinking going on when I was a teen, probably because dd has more interesting friends than I did.

So I'd say don't jump to conclusions or assume something is the norm just because people tell you so.

Thank you - and I worry that I haven't made myself clear. I am not daft enough to base a whole opinion on one party that I've seen photo's from. My point was more along the lines of would other parents of teenagers of this age feel that hosting a house party where 13 year olds would be drinking with parental consent is acceptable/reasonable/etc etc. I feel uncomfortable with it but wanted to gauge opinion from others.

I wouldn't have wanted my dd to attend such a party and she wouldn't have wanted to either- she would have felt uneasy with something that was so far from the norms she is used to. Within the next year or so she probably will be attending parties where there is access to alcohol- she is after all growing up- and then she will have to decide how to deal with it, but at a party for 13yos she would have thought that was just weird.

I'm sure some parents don't see any problem with their 13 year old DCs openly drinking alcohol, but I wouldn't do it in my home. Not necessary. Why would a 13 year old need to drink alcohol to have a good time at a party?

My 14 year old DD knows her friends are keen to drink alcohol and on one occasion (at least) a friend turned up for a night out/in with friends with a water bottle full of vodka. Cue a talk about the inappropriateness of knocking back neat vodka. Your role as a parent is to ensure your DCs don't do anything stupid and are able to say no to their friends. Of course, they'll be drinking alcohol at some point before they're 18 - I'm sure the vast majority of us did - but I started with lager, no neat vodka and not at the age of 13 with the approval of my friends' parents.

As the mother of a 13 yr old I can confidently say that this is not the norm where I live, and none of my friends would sanction our children attending such a party. I am by mo means a prude, but if your own child is 13 it is almost certain that some of their friends would still be 12. I would never encourage drinking at this age.

And for those of us who did things before we were legally old enough that surely gives us the wisdom, with the benefit of hindsight, to know that it wasn't a smart thing to have done.

They maybe just had a WKD each. And at least the parents were there to supervise.

aceeptableornot I don't think all parents do this. There does though seem to be a growing culture of 'they're going to do it anyway so may as well let em'... which I pretty much despise.

They may do it anyway, these secret disallowed rites of passge, but encouraging it I think takes away the excitement of being a teen if nothing else!

Simbo I loved being a reckless teen. I am glad my parents were strict. I'd live it all again in a flash, but I wouldn't want my parents approval, just their guidence and advice for my safety, and punishment if I did something utterly stupid... like get caught!