To absolutely despise Ireland?

[Barbielovesken]

I hate it. I hate absolutely everything about this country. All we do is work and work and for some good measure, work a bit more.

Any benefits to this? Absolutely none. We dont go anywhere or do anything and don't see each-other as when ones off the others working and vice versa. Just to keep our heads above water. To pay more and more and more taxes and take more and more pay cuts that we see absolutely nothing for.

It's relentless.

I am just 26 years of age and swear that the life has been sucked out of me by the hell hole that is this country. I hate it here and we can't leave - we're trapped here.

You can get a medical card if you are poor enough, so everything is free. Or a GP visit card at another level, so that is free. And public care is free in the hospitals, apart from bed charges, a&E charge and prescriptions. Many people have health insurance.

YANBU. Feel very lucky to live in scotland at the moment, Ireland s

Sounds very tough just now. :(

Oh I'm sorry - Ignore me really. I was having a crap day and just ranting really - I was exhausted and sick and missing my husband who's worked 7 days this week. My 2 year old dh spent the week before last in hospital with pneumonia and I've been obviously worried - I'd got a bill through the door when I arrived home Friday eve for his hospital stay after just paying slightly under €200 for his initial GP visit and medication. The boiler broke yesterday and I couldn't heat the house and couldn't afford to fix it so was stressed and upset about how I'd keep him warm.

Some interesting points raised on this thread, I'm sorry I can't reply to everyone as I'm on my phone and can't scroll back but there'd loads I want to say. Thank you for the kindness shown too.

We are so much luckier than some - on my good days I'm very aware of this and grateful but I suppose sometimes, its no consolation when you're having an off day.

We wouldnt consider posting the keys back - out of obligation to ourselves and our children and our future and also to others left in this country - who pays if we all did this? The tax payer. I'm aware we are lucky to have a choice not to, mind - despite finding it very difficult right now.

Unlike many, there's light at the end of the tunnel for us. We know if we keep going the way we are and once our children are out of full time childcare we'll be fine. Its just getting through the next 5 years here that sometimes becomes overwhelming. At least we have something to look forward to.

I can't remember who asked what but no, we didn't live beyond our means - we both chose public sector jobs which meant while many of our friends were making double and triple our wages during the boom, we muddled along on quite rubbish salaries. We built simply because it was much cheaper and because we wanted to live very close to my mum so there's someone to take care of her when she's older. A basic home at the time would have cost us between 350k - 400k to buy, by building our mortgage is a lot less (and we built by direct labour - no contractor to save more)

While it is probably unusual for someone of our age (no, dh is not much older - he's 28) to have what we've chosen to have, i don't think we were unreasonable - while our friends were out in their late teens partying and drinking their money we were working, staying in and saving every penny we could. Dd1 arrived (unplanned) 3 weeks after my 20th birthday and we were determined not to fall into the stereotypical "young parents" notion so were very sensible.

I think law was a stupid choice anyway- notoriously difficult to obtain an apprenticeship and even if I was lucky enough, I couldn't afford to with a family to support and there simply are no jobs in law available - notoriously over subscribed to (wasn't aware of this when I started). I don't know how I could go any way - dh used to be here at night with dc while I went to college but he now works up to 5 nights a week (2nd job).

Whoever said we should be doing more? I'm still completely bemused - we work, between us, approx 90 hours per week - excluding travel time to and from work (we're 40 mins away), paid work that is - before we ever do an ounce of housework/ childcare etc..

Just tired!

I'm really sorry it's so tough. It must feel like an endless struggle but you just have to get your head down and get through it.
Could you plan a cheap camping holiday just to get away for a bit and feel like you've had a break?

Sorry, my dh obviously isn't 2 - that's meant to read ds.

Maryz - thank you I'm sorry to hear your ds's acne - did he get sorted?

Theparanoid - we had health insurance but cancelled it ages ago. Couldn't afford the €340 per month

Wow Maryz, I'm on a very low income and have always taken my medical care for granted.
Having the tories in charge of the NHS will probably go down that route if we don't fight it, thank fuck we have a Scottish Parliament.

Ah just saw your post. I'm not surprised you're tired and everyone is entitled to an off day once in a while. Fwiw I admire how very hard you and your dp work, that you've tried to study and better yourself and give your dcs a good life. You both sound like lovely people.

Fingers crosse maryz. I know you're right. I'm a pita to live with right now. Definitely not getting enough sleep.- I'm staying up most nights til 12 doing housework etc so I can try have some time with dc during the weekends. Tiredness is probably a huge contribution to being such a miserable cow right now.

I dong think so worzel we were talking about this lately and trying to figure out if we could even afford a night or 2 away. We haven't had a break since 2008 so think we need to try and prioritise it somehow. My (wealthy) cousin has a holiday home in Galway, I might ask her if I could use it.

Sorry crossing posts with everyone. worzel that's so kind of you to say - thank you, I really appreciate it

maryz exactly - another reason I wasn't too upset about cancelling our insurance anyway. It's not that much help really. I'm glad to hear about your ds, other children can be very cruel.

Is the degree really not an option right now? Could you not transfer to the OU for final year.

I know you say that there are no jobs in Law but it is a good degree to have. You don't have to qualify as a solicitor, there are other options.

Actually, you're right haziedoll I always thought it was a good one to have, even if I hadn't intended to specifically go into law. I had hope to use it to get up the ladder a bit in my current job but the public sector recruitment embargo has crushed any ideas on that.

I don't think so. We really, really have no spare money - we can barely meet our bills. Dh has said we'll do everything in our power to get it together but I simply don't see anyway how we can and I'd almost feel selfish. I've even asked the college if I can pay in instalments throughout the year but was met with a very stern "no".

I keep hearing that ou qualifications aren't taken seriously by employers - they don't hold much weight - is this true?

I'm worried if I could even cope with it right now - I already feel so stretched and that there's not enough hours a day. I did my last year very pregnant and sat finals at 39 weeks pregnant but dh was working less and around more to help with dc and housework.

OU qualifications are very well regarded. Perhaps you can finish it in a few years time? It's a real shame that your college won't consider accepting the money in instalments. When the tuition fees change later this year in England, you won't have to pay anything up front for the OU, although I'm not sure how that works if you are from overseas, might be worth looking into that.

Life is bloody tough for young families at the moment and I'm not sure that everyone appreciates that. We are just holding our heads above the water and trying to ride it out until our youngest starts school full time in a few years, then our childcare issues will be simpler and I can try to earn some proper money.

On the bright side you are resourceful and capable of studying for a degree so when the economy does improve people with your skills will be in demand. Having struggled financially you will also appreciate what you do have so much more. Before having children we had it so easy I just didn't realise it at the time. I won't take it for granted in the future that's for sure!

If I was your cousin I'd have offered it to you a long long time ago - I hope she says it's OK to use it, a few days away would be good for you all :)

Do you have any family you could borrow the money from and pay it back in small installments? Do you have any family that could mind the kids when you go to Uni? Families/Friends absolutely need to pull together in times like this. You have moved to be near your Mum so that you can help her when she's older - can she help you now?

Barbielovesken you've been having a really tough time lately and who wouldn't feel frustrated in your situation. How is your little ds -has he recovered fully from the pneumonia? Sometimes we are so focussed on just plugging along trying to cope and then an unexpected crisis hits like an illness and it scuppers our defences. You sound like a resilient person but someone who has been overloaded with demands lately. Be easy with yourself. I think it would be a great idea to see if you can get away to Galway for a break. You deserve some down time.

You asked about the OU. As far as I'm aware it's generally well regarded here, my dh studied with them and that was the case then. It's not a cheap option though, but you could spread it out over a longer period. Also I imagine if it's Law it wouldn't be Irish based law so I'm not sure how that would apply here. Maybe someone in the Law Society could advise if the course is accepted ?

Do keep posting - it's good to tap into support. Take care of yourself.

Op take a look at the OU - is there are course which could meld your public sector job and law - public policy or management, business studies etc

I am studying with the OU and it is brilliant. My current tutor us a lecturer at the local RG university, the materials are excellent and very up-to -date. They cater very well for distance leathers and you can lay monthly instalments ( mine is currently £80)

Good luck. We accrued a lot if debt when DPs business turnover halved a year ago. I am now working evenings and nights, he is working to bring turnover back up and we are trying to pay off our debts. Things are tough. You are not alone

holeyghost yeah I am. Delighted that the country is in shit. can't you see me dancing a delighted jig at the scenes of misery and the unhappiness of friends and family. Thats the kind of weirdo I am. Glad you noticed. Entitlement? How about keeping up with the Joneses which swept the country.

if you're in public sector can you not get your fees refunded - even see if you can get them paid in advance?

BarbielovesKen I'm not sure the OU here do law, afaik, the oscail courses run from DCU and only some of their courses. Also it's very dear, despite the name.
Sorry I was so negative earlier in the thread, things are tough now for lots at the moment though, and it's important to keep going. If you fall down the rabbit hole of despair, you worry about every single little thing. Chin up, it really does have to get better. Hope your ds is feeling better, put medical bill on the long finger, they will send you a few reminders, but you have a good while to get it together. DD was in Temple St earlier in the year and we have still to pay the bill.
FWIW, dp is actually also studying law. As I said he is a garda, so would be hugely beneficial to him to have but don't think the fees will be refunded ll31, it's pretty tough to get anything from the gov at the mo.

Just wanted to point out that the grass is not always greener......

We left Ireland last July as the company that DH works for pulled out of Ireland so his choice was either taking redundancy or keeping his job and working from the UK.

OK we are lucky that he still has a job but we are living in England and finding it hard to adjust. We rented out our home in Ireland and are renting here. I can see little difference in the cost of living. Yes we can visit the GP and have medication at the cost of just a prescription( 7.50) but we pay monthly council tax that is not paid in Ireland and where we are living it is quite high. Also the child allowance/benefit is not as high as Ireland. (havent got any yet, mind you).

We have no family or friends here so feel quite lonely. Think my kids would sell a kidney to return "home"!!!