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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids and the roads

9 replies

BeeBawBabbity · 10/02/2012 19:07

My neighbour has a 3 year old dd and we often walk to the bus stop together to meet our kids at school home time. My heart is always in my mouth because she lets her dd run all over the place, onto the roads and even over to the other pavement while she just merrily chats away, looking the other way. I feel responsible for the kid and I keep running after her and saying in a panicky voice "car, car!" even though the car is a fair bit away because my neighbour just doesn't seem to have any sense of danger. It's a housing estate, so the roads are not very busy but they are not quiet either, there's regular traffic, and the little girl is oblivious to the cars.

It really stresses me. I've suggested to my neighbour that she get reigns if her dd won't hold hands, but she just said "oh she won't wear them".

AIBU to make excuses to stop walking with them. Or should I keep it up to try and keep an eye on the kid?

OP posts:
lyra41 · 10/02/2012 21:08

Stay with them and keep an eye out, at least then you can feel like you're doing your best for the kid.

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2012 21:12

God that'd do my head in to be honest

I suppose her Mum describes her as 'a free spirit' Hmm

Sheilathegreat · 10/02/2012 21:19

I have this problem when I pick my DD up from nursery. Sometimes I'll leave at the same time as another parent and we'll walk for a little way and talk about the children. There are a couple of parents who don't hold their DC's hand.

My DD sees their kids running ahead and wants to do the same. One time another mum asked me why I wasn't letting go of her hand while DD was threatening a melt down and I said I was scared she'd run into the road. She said 'wont she stop?'. She was two! And I really didn't fancy testing it. I think I mumbled something at the time because I'm a wimp but I wish I had just said what I was thinking.

It's got so awkward now I actively avoid leaving at the same time as them... making up excuses to talk to the nurses etc. So I don't blame you at all for not wanting to walk with this woman anymore.

maddening · 10/02/2012 21:41

buy her little girl one of those backpack reign things as a present - if she can take her doll with her in it she might wear it

hillyhilly · 10/02/2012 21:50

I walk to school and allow my ds (now4, but have allowed him since 3), to run ahead on the proviso that he stays on the pavements and always stops at the kerb (we cross 6 roads, with and without crossings). He has never failed to stop, (if he had when small I'd gave gone back to handholding or reins, can't quite honestly remember if I did so I think probably not). When we first started I lavished praise for being a big sensible boy, and still occasionally do, but I have enough faith in him stopping to allow him the freedom to run and to not have what would be a mighty battle to hang into him.
That said, I do know it gives other parents heart failure and I regularly meet with another parent of a 7 yr old who is called to heel whilst my children run free.
He is helped by the example of his older sister.

Goldenbear · 10/02/2012 23:30

I think you're right to be worried about the child's safety
I had a similar problem to sheila but my DS's friend was allowed to speed down a hill on a scooter and would regularly go into the two main roads that were on the route home. I started to avoid the mum and boy as my nerves couldn't take it! He was very fast and was often out of sight, another issue I had with it.

Ds is at school now but he's only 4 so I still don't like him running off with his friends if they're out of sight because of the roads. I have no shame now and just tell him he must stay near.

aldiwhore · 10/02/2012 23:35

BeeBaw that's scary!

My youngest ran everywhere and wouldn't listen, so he was on reins if we were walking near roads (or wristgripped - gently).

He's 4 now, and probably scares some people, but he will not cross the road and I'm always a step behind him, I'm satified he's 'trained'. We turn road crossing into a game, he takes the lead, tells me off if I don't check with him if its safe to cross etc.,

I used to worry he would be that child who ran in the road.

Your neighbour is BVU.

Robinredboobs · 10/02/2012 23:36

3 years old on reigns? Hmmm ok...

My 1.5 yr old uses reigns but I've looked after a class full of 3 y.o.s and they have all known how to behave near roads/cars and would not step into the road under any circumstances. Maybe her mum knows that she will not run out as she has been taught not to?

Robinredboobs · 10/02/2012 23:37

ok Ive just read that she actually runs onto the road, so in that case YaNbu :)

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