To be hurt that DS2 thinks I am too old to get a decent job

[OneHandFlapping]

Because all the employers will want a "young, dynamic, ambitious person, rather than someone who wants to just fill a gap in the accounts".

How can someone who is not yet 15 manage to put their finger on ageism in the workplace with such accuracy?

How can my lovely son, who I worship, think I am such an old fuddy duddy?

And will I ever manage to convert my crappy CV into one that will get me back into the workplace?

Ask him for advice, he sounds pretty clued up!

That didn't mean to sound rude or agree with him but it does suck

My uncle can't get work despite never being sick or late in 24 years and being the most reliable bloke I know

To be honest I don't always think this is true. When I was a young ambitious sort I was passed over for a job and found out later that they thought I would use it as a 'stepping stone' to promotion so wouldn't stay in the role very long.

Think of all the things you have to offer now you have more life experience, update your CV and have a mock interview with your DS (if you can convince him, potential employers should be no problem :))

It's not age it's attitude. Do you want to just fill a gap in the accounts or do you want a job that is going somewhere?

Make your crappy CV interesting by doing some volunteering in an area where you would like to work on, or an area that would enable you to broaden your skills. Cheaper than retraining!!!!

Dh has just taken a much lower paid job,because he could continue to work from home, and enable me to have more freedom in the work I took. So we have got a gap in the accounts - but it's there for a reason.

I do want a job that is going somewhere - largely because I am going to be pretty much starting from scratch, and I want to be intellectually challenged.

But every time I fiddle with my CV, it looks more and more like the only type of job I am going to get is as a bloody book keeper or payroll clerk (no offence meant to actual book keepers and payroll clerks).

I want to get back into IT. There are plenty of companies that will take my cash for possibly worthless qualifications, but when it comes to getting actual work, I feel too lacking in confidence to even send in my CV.

I did look into volunteering, but round here opportunities seem to be limited to:

a) working in a shop
b) shaking a tin outside Tesco's

I might as well go slowly mad in comfort at home.

There are not so many volunteering opportunities in IT. TBH, I would be happy to work with no pay for eg 6 months. But I don't know how to approach this. I no longer have any contacts in the IT world (well, one, but she couldn't help)

What is he basing his judgement on?
Has he seen you be dynamic and ambitious, or even enthusiastic and inspired by aspects of your job? What is so crappy about your CV?
Why is a 14 year old so dismissive of your capabilities?
And what are you going to do to change that perspective?

Very few 14 year old boys will apprectiate the value of maturity and life experience and especially not in women (or not needing to take maternity leave).

To "worship" him is one thing, to give total credence to his opinion, is another. Is there anyone that you can ask for constructive criticism?

If you don't send off your CV then you have ruled yourself out.

Are there any head offices of any charities around where you live? That might a good place to volunteer in IT?

Dust, he is basing his judgement on pure prejudice IMO. Although it's true that he hasn't seen me as the dynamic, and enthusiastic person I once was.

The main problem with my CV is that the good stuff is nearly 20 years ago. Although I've done stuff since, it's pretty low level.

I don't know who to turn to for constructive criticism. DH is in the same field, but seems relentlessly optimistic that I will get what I want (while at the same time having refused to take ANY time out of his own career to co-parent when the kids were young).

Friends are tremendously upbeat, and complimentary, andleave me feeling temporarily good, but are too nice to say I haven't a snowball in Hell's chance.

IT? Find a community nursery which could do with its website being jazzed up, and offer to do it for free, or for a few ChildMinders in your area, a small business (and ask them to give you a reference), a kids club, day care centre for the aged, local church etc, etc, etc.

There are LOADS of places that have charitable status which would love to have some IT work done for them. What's wrong with trying OUTSIDE of your area?

TBH I would have thought IT would be one of the easier areas to find voluntary work in!!!!

I can put together a website, but I have zero design skills, so it would look like shit. The best web designers have both.

My area of (former) expertise is large ERP systems (basically big accounting and business information systems).

Now if only I had a way of finding out what systems charities are using, I could target ones using the system I want to get into...

Actually, this is the stumbling block. It's not readily available information.

Why don't you ring the accounts dept of charities local to you and ask them? If they are using the relevant one write in offering your services.

Of course it's readily available information - you just have to call and ask!

Unfortunately you will have to do some cold calling. It's hard to do if you aren't doing it but just remember that they won't know you from adam.
You could start by emailing HR departments of companies and see where that gets you. You may not get many replies but it would get you in the swing of approaching them. When phoning the companies, have a script prepared so that you dry up. you'll probably stammer and stutter your way through at first but don't give up.

I think you would feel more confident if you took a refresher course.

Can you say what qualifications you have now?

op, how do i send you a message? i may be able to help you re: charity

My 14 yo DS comes out with odd comment like this. 'Mum, back in the Victorian period, did you actually have maths?' He's being deliberately dimwitted and I either (a) engage with full on sarcasm, or (b) bollock him.

I think some boys think they're being witty.

Sometimes, they are, to be fair.

But would I tell him if he's being hurtful or rude. As I said to him this evening, 'Fifity is young.'

I do have qualifications - graduate, chartered accountant, up to date Prince II project management (which I refreshed in July. Boring subject matter, but it was lovely to be out and about). like I said, refresher courses of various types are not in short supply, but whether they will be money down the drain is anyone's guess.

I challenged DS on his comments, and he speedily back tracked, and said he was being ageist. Maybe I can make just one future recruiter think about who they are employing and why. I'm ashamed to say that i was very ageist when i was a young manager. I recall (age 30) not employing someone who was 38, because they were over the hill!. Ha ha ha. Karma or what?

Thx for the PM coldwed. It was very encouraging!

Times have changed very rapidly and i think you'll find that people are far less ageist than in the past. For a start it's against the law to discriminate on age, and as we are an ageing society there are more older people around, either in employment or looking for it.

You are extemely well qualified and must have the experience that employers are looking for. i think it comes down to attitude. If you are willing to work, and come across as a good team worker (even if secretly it's hard for you), I would think you will have no trouble getting work

Most charities would bite off your hand to take you on as a volunteer to do IT. They won't advertise this, but contact them and see.

Thank you all for the encouragement. By some strange coincidence, my old IT contact has just got back in touch, and we are arranging lunch. I'll see what she thinks too.

wrt finding out who uses particular products, ime the software firms themselves often list this on their websites.