To go away and leave my family for the weekend?

[ThreeForTea]

I live with my DH and Dd who is 14 months. On Sunday i started to miscarry. Would have been 11 weeks tomorrow. Dh and I have had a pretty stressful time as you can imagine. Several friends have been amazing helping out with dd, but has left me feeling quite bad for her as I know I haven't been much of a good mum to her this week. Dh is suggesting that we all go and stay with my parents for the weekend, who we are relationally very close to, who are great with dd and though house is quite busy and chaotic always make space for us. I don't know if I'm being really selfish though because I just don't feel that I can face being there because of how relational it is, and I just really don't feel like having to deal with anyone else's emotions.

Dh parents live down south in the countryside, they are older and though not as emotionally forward do care about us and I think that they wouldn't mind having me if I asked to stay. I just think they woyld be easier to be around right now and it woyld be a nice change of scene as it is a village rather than a city. I don't know if dh will be able to come as he has to work on Monday.

I don't know if I'm being selfish 1 leaving dh sad he is really sad too and might want to be around me.this weekend, 2 leaving dd at my parents house after pretty much being away from her all week and 3 not letting my own mum in to my emotions at this point. On the other had think that if I got a couple of days space and fresh air I might recover better and be a better mum wife and daughter sooner.

Does it sound really horrid and selfish of me to go away without them?

I didn't really understand what your options are here, but Yanbu to do what you need to do to get through a difficult time. Your dd will not remember not seeing much of you for what is a tiny period in her life, and your parents should understand that you need a little breathing space.

Can you dh take a day off?

I don't think he has any al left at this point as he took some Monday and Tuesday and his work can't give him any other sort of time off for this

Hmm, it's a difficult one because he'll be grieving the pregnancy but mostly he'll just be concerned for you. Have you discussed this with him and scoped out how he would feel about it?

dont feel guilty, but dont make any decision yet, sleep on it. I say do nothing when in shock and reaction. If in 24 hours you still want time alone, yanbu. but you might want to be with your loved ones. sorry about the MC xxxxxx

I think you dont really need to worry about your dd or you parents, but it could strain the relationship between you and your dh. Is there a way you could ask your parents to look after dd and go away somewhere just the two of you?

I am waiting to be able to talk to him at work. I know I need to comfort him as well, and I have been. I just feel so emotionally weary right now, if that makes sense!

I just spoke dh, he doesn't want to go and stay at his parent's. I didn't think he would. I feel quite disappointed as that would have been somewhere I could have faced spending the next couple of days. I don't know if I can even mention to him the idea of going by myself, even though I think that might be what I.really want.

Can you stay at home and ask dh to take yr dd to your parents. You might just want a day by yourself before joining them?

I think i've got to the stage where I just want to be somewhere else, somewhere peaceful, and I know that PIL's is. If I was richer I would just book us both a cottage somewhere to go to.

Premier inn 29 £ deals ?

Premier inn is a good idea. And if you three went together, you could set aside half a day for you to spend on your own.

So very sorry to hear about your mc, that is so sad.