.....to be livid that ex claims he can't get time off to holiday with kids then sneaks off??!

[EdgeofGlory]

AIBU to be furious that ex promised to take our kids on holiday, then told me he couldn't get the annual leave, then he asks to 'swap' weekends and then to find out he is going abroad after all!

13 weeks school holidays a year and he commits to one!!

My husband funds all their needs on top of the measly sum ex pays a month and then there's a showdown when eldest child (15) asks to go away with friends family and I ask ex to pay half......he finally agrees but daughter is sworn to secrecy and not to mention it in front of his wife. His wife being the one he left us for (thank god...hindsight etc) wouldn't you think she/they would want to do all they can to make it up to our children??

If she doesn't even know (everyone being sworn to secrecy by HIM and all that) then it is entirely HIS fault and he is a twat

make it a very short time you're 'livid' as he's just an arsehole and there's zero point wasting energy on him.

Have a glass instead

So tempted to have a but TRYING to be good!

I know it's his fault but I also know he is dictated to by her - both T**TS I say - he should stand up to her.

You have upgraded well- he has down graded appropriately

How do you know he is dictated to by her? I bet most men would claim their wives told them to do xyz to get out of taking responsibility for their own shitty behaviour!

Ultimately he is the one who left you, he was the one with the responsibility, and he is the one who is now hiding behind his wife and making pathetic excuses when he should be stepping up. No point in directing any ire at her - it should all go squarely in his direction! If he is lying to his wife, it is likely that he is lying to you too.

YANBU if hes gone back on his word to his children but its still early in the year and he may have other plans later with them.

As for the comment "My husband funds all their needs on top of the measly sum ex pays a month" - it should be down to you to pay their needs as their parent. Presumably he pays the CSA rate, you get the CB/CTC so if your husband is paying the difference and not you then you can hardly moan at the amount your ex pays if you arent paying any.