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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sorry for this teacher

41 replies

ReallyTired · 10/02/2012 13:26

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-16929442

I know what she did was stupid and inappriopate. Am I unreasonable to feel a little sorry for her.

It shows how careful we need to be with the internet.

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 10/02/2012 13:29

YANBU to feel sorry for her, that is very compassionate of you. I find it hard to feel the same way though because I just cant understand how anyone can display so little common sense. I feel more sorry for the students she encountered.

tethersend · 10/02/2012 13:30

I don't know- I mean, it's common sense not to be friends with students.

I think she's been a bit of a twat, TBH.

tethersend · 10/02/2012 13:31

x-post, KitchenRoll

Boomerwang · 10/02/2012 13:34

YABU. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would know that it's far too risky to post stuff like that on a facebook page. As for saying she thought her privacy settings were set to the highest, how come some of her comments were aimed at people who supposedly shouldn't be able to see her updates?

She got caught fair and square. Not that it's against the law to do what she did, but in her line of work it's not worth the risks she took.

aldiwhore · 10/02/2012 13:35

I feel no sympathy for her at all.

I thought I would, I did for those teachers who had open profiles and posted pics of night's out etc, as they weren't directly involving the pupils... they were a bit dafty about security and fully enititled to a life outside school.

But this? Plain creepy and cringey in my opinion. Nothing to do with her age, but that she refers to herself a Miss Scarlett, even though shes says she's not the same as in school, she seems quite pathetic. If it were ex-pupils who were now adults, fair enough, but talking about going clubbing with pupils who are only a year or two out of her class? I just have an image of a desperado. No sympathy at all.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 10/02/2012 13:35

I'm not sure to be honest. Teachers round here are not allowed to be friends with their pupils or their parents. My ds's teacher is a friend of mine from when I went to school, she has had to de-friend me while she teaches him.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 10/02/2012 13:35

"As far as I was concerned I had a Facebook profile which was locked to the highest possible setting. I didn't realise everyone could see my comments."

I feel sorry for her about THIS (and worried about my own FB comments Blush - I try to only write things that I'd be ok if anyone read, but don't always manage. Esp in PM conversations.)

Pandemoniaa · 10/02/2012 13:36

No. I don't feel sorry for her at all. Most teachers that I know are extremely wary about using Facebook - regardless of how innocent/boring their status updates might be. Also, most schools round here discourage their staff from going anywhere near Facebook because grief so inevitably follows.

I realise that she's had some stress in her personal life but anyone in such a responsible job should surely have some commonsense?

MrsMuddyPuddles · 10/02/2012 13:37

ps- for those not on facebook: about 6 months ago they changed things so that anyone can read comments you make as you make them. or see what other website you're visiting. or sometimes see posts to groups that they're not a part of.
It is not clear at all how to turn this "feature" off, short of logging out of facebook and deleting cookies.

pictish · 10/02/2012 13:39

"Using the site, she told a former pupil: "You should pop up to see me or even better we can go out for a drink or clubbing, I'm a very different person outside school I like to party hard - life is for the living."

The woman is an idiot.

BackforGood · 10/02/2012 13:39

She's clearly brought it upon herself though. It's part and parcel of working with children or young people - you have to maintain boundaries. It was her that publicised her "private life".
I would have a huge amount of sympathy if - for example - a pupil had coincidently been on the same holiday flight and had posted photos of her 'relaxing', but then it would be entirely different from her trying to set herself up as "cool" or whatever she thought publicising her drinking and swearing made her.

hiddenhome · 10/02/2012 13:40

She's totally unprofessional and I think she should question whether or not she really wants to be a teacher. Inviting other pupils to be friends? She sounds crazy.

kerala · 10/02/2012 13:41

My sisters teaches secondary and some of her charming pupils set up a fake Facebook account in her name Hmm. She had to go to a lot of effort to get it taken down and now avoids FB altogether.

aldiwhore · 10/02/2012 13:42

"I didn't realise everyone could see my comments"

That reads to me like "I didn't realise everyone could see my inappropriate comments to children".

In which case, she's still stupid and creepy.

If it was a man doing it, I'd probably feel deeply unnerved, for that IABU. Given that, she's lucky she's female.

TheParanoidAndroid · 10/02/2012 13:44

Nope, I don't feel sorry for her at all. You have to be some special kind of moron to talk to children about drinking and clubbing, and talking about your sex life when you've accepted friend requests from children too young to be even on FB.

Daft cow.

KatAndKit · 10/02/2012 13:51

I don't feel sorry for her either. Teachers are well aware of the rules about contacting children on the internet. The only internet contact you should ever have with a pupil is via the school's e-mail system. All teachers are told not to accept facebook friend requests from children.

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/02/2012 14:17

I was prepared to feel sympathy, but didn't by the time I got to the end of the article.

I don't have much of a Facebook presence, and I only started with it to play Farmville with my son. Through this I became FB friends with some of his schoolmates, so quite a few of my FB friends are 13 year olds. For privacy, I placed them all in a group and anything I post can be seen by Friends EXCEPT this group. She could have done something similar.

Original poster
ReallyTired · 10/02/2012 14:17

I agree she has been unprofessional. I agree she deserves to be sacked. I feel a bit sorry for anyone who loses their entire career.

I suppose I am soft.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 10/02/2012 14:20

"I suppose I am soft."
That's not a bad thing to be ReallyTired.

ithaka · 10/02/2012 14:23

She is very unprofessional. My DH is a teacher and just does not use facebook or have an account - it is not worth the hassle for him.

Cersei · 10/02/2012 15:10

DH is a junior school teacher and some of his colleagues have recently been in trouble for having pupils as friends. This sort of thing is why he doesn't have a facebook account. As ithaka says, it's not worth the hassle.

celticlassie · 10/02/2012 17:08

As a teacher, I don't understand why ANY teacher would have pupils as friends. Why would you want to be their friends on any level? I just don't get it at all.
I'd be really pissed off if I had to give up my facebook because some teachers have bizarre issues with boundaries.

OriginalJamie · 10/02/2012 17:10

She's a bleeding idiot, and I'd trust her judgment

OriginalJamie · 10/02/2012 17:11

mistrust

valiumredhead · 10/02/2012 17:14

Me too jamie if she can make such obviously bad errors of judgement over something as basic as FB I wouldn't want her teaching my child.

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