where it is peaceful and clean, and no one puts on CBeebies, and there are whole rooms full of beanbags, and massive oversized white dressing gowns, and underfloor heating, and a team of chefs waiting to make you whatever random thing you decide you fancy, and clinking jugs of iced soft drinks, and no one ever, ever makes the whole place smell of fried eggs.
And hammocks in the garden, with cushions. And sweet fresh air. And benches with belly holes cut into them so you can lie on your front.
And you don't have to talk to ANYONE if you don't want to.
And there are entire back catalogues of sitcoms and every film you have ever heard of that you can watch any time you want and never be interrupted.
And a warm swimming pool to loaf around in. With a swim-up olive bar.
And optional yoga classes.