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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't have a dog if it's going to be alone in the house every day?

52 replies

perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 14:42

Next door have a lovely dog. But since they are all out all day, the dog barks and howls all day long until they get home. It sounds very sad and is not pleasant to hear.

I have never had a dog myself though. AIBU?

OP posts:
everlong · 09/02/2012 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 14:45

I haven't mentioned it because it's a rather contentious issue isn't it especially with neighbours. I'd be worried that it would come across as me trying to have a go...

OP posts:
lesley33 · 09/02/2012 14:45

YANBU. Dogs should not be left alone in the house all day, they will get distressed.

LaughingGas · 09/02/2012 14:46

not sure if YABU as I would need to know for sure whether this dog is acutlaly allowing and howling ALL day. From what hours are you positive it is alone, and for how long is it howling?

Then i can say if YABU or YANBU Grin

lesley33 · 09/02/2012 14:47

Maybe explain that you are worried about the dog as he sounds so sad?

whitsunday · 09/02/2012 14:48

YANBU. My sister and BIL have a dog they leave alone all day every day. I feel so sorry for it :(

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 14:50

Well it's a lot -it howls / barks for a long time and then goes quiet for about 30 minutes (probably tired) then starts up again. This is between 8 and 5. It also barks madly if someone comes to my door. I see the children and mum go off in the morning and they don't return until home dinner time. The barking does not seems to happen at weekends, when, presumably people are at home.

OP posts:
Chattymummyhere · 09/02/2012 14:50

if the dog is upset.distressed then no YANBU but if the dog was happy then yes you would be being U..

I really hate the thinking that to own a dog you must be at home all the time yet to really afford a dog you should be working, you cant have it both ways?

Not working - Dog does not get 100% vet care due to costs, gets the worst cheapest dog food around, misses out on worming etc does not have insurance (not all just saying someone on say JSA cannot(should not be able) to afford all the things the pet needs

Owners works - Therfore can afford to provide everything the dog needs

Of course you get bad owners in each section but a working owner is better then one who uses there dog as an extra sofa!

everlong · 09/02/2012 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 09/02/2012 14:57

Depends on the breed, the amount of time left and whether it is exercised before being left and in the evening again.

The dog doesn't sound as though it is getting enough exercise and is having separation anxiety.

Dogs that have that are very hard to rehome, i have rehomed dogs with this, for other people, taking the time to find retired or non working disabled people, If you make complaints the dog may be put to sleep.

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 14:59

Dogs are very high maintenance though, and I think if you don't have the resources (in all senses) to meet their needs then you should have a pet that requires less input.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/02/2012 14:59

As Chatty says, if the dog is unhappy at being alone, then no, it isnt right.

My dog is a quite happy being left on his own.. even though I am here all day apart from going out for a max of five hours on some days.. today for example.. he got up for a wee when I got up... had a drink, lay in front of the fire, then trundled back upstairs to his bed as he hates cold weather.... that was at 9am... and he will stay up there snoring until about 6 o'clock.. by choice! Grin .. if the sun comes out (highly bloody unlikely) he will be outside and sunbathing... probably for five minutes until he realises that even in the sun, it is still winter and isnt all that warm!

My MIL has a dog that is often completely unable to settle if she goes out.. he is howling and barking before she gets to the end of the drive, which does make life bloody difficult. Some days he is fine, other days not so fine.

Have you told the neighbour about this, because unless someone does, she is not going to know... the dog is not going to say "I howled all day because you were not here".

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 15:00

The impression I get is that the dog misses its family. Oh I would hate to think it was put to sleep :(

OP posts:
Mrsfromwales · 09/02/2012 15:01

IMO YADNBU - I have friends and even family members that do this and it irritates me so much!
its so unfair on the poor little pooch.
Me and DH have wanted to get a dog since we moved in together (7 years ago) but we would not let ourselves until we were in a position to be able to give a dog the time and attention it needs. (we have both always worked quite far away from home)
but luckily, I have started a new job this week which is 1.5 mile from home so we have started thinking seriously about getting a dog as I now have time to walk it in the morning before work, go home at lunchtime and be in the door t 5.10pm to take it out/spend some time with it!
Grin

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 15:01

I think the dog is a cocker spaniel.

OP posts:
FedUpOfTheBunfightsSeaCow · 09/02/2012 15:01

YANBU, unless they provide adequate facilities like access to outside, plenty of toys food & water.

runningwilde · 09/02/2012 15:03

Please contact the RSPCA for advice as this is terrible

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 15:06

If I contact the RSPCA will they have to take any action? The people will be bound to know I reported it as they live on an end - I am the only neighbouring house iyswim.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByaBear · 09/02/2012 15:07

Aw - spaniels need loads of exercise. The poor, poor dog.

Difficult one to solve though. If you mention it to them and nothing is done, and then you go to the RSPCA they will know it was you.

runningwilde · 09/02/2012 15:11

Uld still

Ephiny · 09/02/2012 15:11

I don't think the RSPCA will be bothered, as long as the dog has shelter, water etc and gets fed every day.

It is a shame to see dogs being left alone all day, it's not nice for them, and obviously annoying for you to hear the barking and howling. If I were you I'd offer to dog sit/walk for them (assuming you're at home during the day) - but appreciate not everyone could or would want to do that!

runningwilde · 09/02/2012 15:15

I still think you should phone RSPCA - but explain you are their only neighbour and don't want them to know you called (they could say someone who walks past has heard the dog). But def still ring them for advice

Original poster
perceptionreality · 09/02/2012 15:16

I would be happy to attend to the dog for them on days when I'm here but would feel awkward asking them about it! I doubt they would want me letting myself into their house.

OP posts:
campariandlemonade · 09/02/2012 15:16

I would speak to them...perhaps just explain that you have come round because if it was your dog you would want to know...they can't know what's going on if they're out. I did this with my next door neighbours and they were fine about it. Perhaps they could get a dog walker to do a lunchtime walk or something. My next door neighbour's dog is much less noisy than it was and I feel much better for saying something. I'm sure if they are nice people they wouldn't want their dog so distressed or you to have to listen to the yapping all day either

Ephiny · 09/02/2012 15:19

I do think it would be good to mention to the owners, in case they're not aware the dog is so distressed and for so long. If they do know, or they don't care...all I can think of is reporting to your council as a noise nuisance :(