to think this is not the right time or place?

[Stokethefire]

Tomorrow my dd is playing in her first ever concert. My dad is travelling 250m to come and see her. My mum said she would try to make it.

My parents are separated, after my mum left my dad for another man.

If my mum does come this will be the first time in 20 years they have been in the same room.

I thought this was for the benefit of my dd, and was so pleased, they were both going to be there.

My mum has said she wants to go, as she wants to speak to my dad, and he won't respond to any of her emails/calls.

I questioned whether this was the time or place, she said well what other opportunity would she have.

I am cross that on a big day for my dd, my mum isn't going to see her, she's using it for her own interests.

I wonder what she wants to talk to him about after so long.

I don't know I would suspect money!

I would ask her beforehand or ask you dad if he read her emails?

Might give you an idea if
It is likely to cause bother etc? She might just want to say sorry

Agree should be about dd that day though

If that is her only intention to come she IBU
You should tell your mum not to start anything in front of your DD, if she wants to talk to your dad she can do it elsewhere.

Is she the type to shout and ruin your daughter's evening? Because if she is, you may have no choice but to tell her to not even dare!

Or talk to your dad.

Dad, look. Mum is coming up too. She says that because you won't talk to her, she's going to talk to you when she comes up to this performance. This is SO important. I will be furious if it is ruined for X, and she will be devastated. I don't think it's something I will forgive. Will you please contact her and just talk, so that Xs day can be about her and not about you two"

no. I do see her point but if she does this it might stop your dad ever doing it again for fear of being ambushed. try explaining that to your mum. you could organise drinks round your house afterwards or equivilent ie coffee/meal. If they all go your mum could bring it up then as the time progresses. you could ask her to act as if its only just crossed her mind. would of course depend massively on what it is.

Talk to your Dad and I'm sure he will tell you what she wants to talk to him about. If it is something he can sort through a reply to her email ask him to do that. If it's something that could blow up then tell your Mum she is not invited.

Sounds like she is putting your dad in a horrible position.

Oh my lord, do NOT let her come if that's why she's coming.

I've been there, the first time my parents were in the same room in 20 years was at my wedding and it was sooooo stressful. I don't think you should let this happen at anything having to do with your kids, I'm sure your DD will already be nervous about her performance and any family drama won't help.

I'd also have a word with you're dad. She's not playing fair at all.

sorry no, was to aybu not to the replies. they wern't there when i typed but defo go with their talking to your dad idea. much better than mine.

only thing wrong about this is the name wet nurse. sounds like they are getting their jollies from the experience why not milk nurse.

x thread minimiss ?