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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that 95% of people...

290 replies

PurplePidjin · 08/02/2012 19:14

...do not have a significant phobia of needles?

So why do only 4 or 5 in 100 of us who are medically capable actually bother to give blood? Where are the rest of them?

It took 30 minutes of my afternoon, and they deliberately stay open late so people can pop in on the way home from work and have an excellent excuse to slob on the sofa for a bit

Oh, and apparently the registers are now cross-referenced do my Anthony Nolan sample is relevant to both

www.blood.co.uk

OP posts:

musicposy · 09/02/2012 00:33

Does anyone know if a) having received plasma makes a difference or b) having had fertility treatment?

It looks on the website (I've looked into it a bit more now in the hope I can donate again in the future) and it looks as though fertility treatment with hcg (which I think is given in all IVF) excludes you. But loads of people have that, surely?

RealLifeIsForWimps · 09/02/2012 00:42

Loads of people do, but loads of people are excluded. They are super cautious, quite rightly as many things including BSE cannot be effectively screened for.

I am excluded as I am a transplant organ recipient. The rationale is that transplant organs arent screened for BSE but I could have had that anyway. I dont really understand why the donor is more likely to be BSE positive than me. Maybe I just got the wrong end of the stick. Anyone know/

Before I was permanently banned I managed to actually give blood once, having attempted it 5 times. The other times my iron levels were too low, although I wasnt technically anaemic.

FarloRigel · 09/02/2012 00:49

It's not that the donor was more likely than you to have anything, RealLife, it's that your blood now has the cumulative risks of the lifetime exposures of two individuals, yours and your donors. Therefore the blood of someone who has received a transplant is on average twice as risky as that of someone who has not had an organ transplant. They like to make their decisions based upon probabilities of risk based on averages for groups, so that is why you have been excluded.

PastGrace · 09/02/2012 00:59

I'm not banned, but apparently my veins aren't good enough. The staff were lovely and said they'd take me off the list "so we wouldn't bother you" because my veins were unlikely to get any better.

I was very disappointed not to be able to, and spent the next week badgering everyone I met to go and do it "on my behalf". I think it worked...

Not sure where I come in the statistics - medically I am capable, but it is not in their interests in terms of allocation of resources (including time) and finances to "cause you significant discomfort when in all likelihood you won't manage a full donation and we'll have to throw it away".

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 09:24

Kayano and others I've thought about this and I do apologise for my comments last night. I should have been more understanding of genuine phobias. I have a general ASD problem with empathy and because DD is only alive because of donors it makes it that much harder - it's such an emotive issue.

It's a shame that by the time we are of an age where we are having children and much more aware of the importance of giving blood that so many of us are excluded from doing so. Whether that's because we have received blood ourselves of have young children so are unable to due to childcare issues.

With regard to needle phobia - What happens to people with this if they become diabetic or are in a road traffic accident and need to be hooked up to all sorts? Do people refuse life-saving treatment because they are terrified of the process?

I'm utterly repulsed by meat. It makes me vomit. If I were starving I can't see any way that I could eat it if that was all that was available. Most likely I would starve. So the diabetes / hospitalised analogy is an actual question, not rhetoric.

VikingLady · 09/02/2012 10:51

I would like to, and used to do so regularly, but for some reason all my veins seemed to disappear a few years ago. Even routine blood tests are a nightmare and require a visit to the phlebotomy department in the local hospital, where they practically strip me to find a vein that still works. Usually on my foot if I am hot, or they decide the test wasn't that important after all and send me home! Since they are not allowed to do that at the blood centre, it's not an option.

And I feel very bad about it.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 09/02/2012 10:56

Farlo Aha- thanks for answering. That makes sense

C0smos · 09/02/2012 11:01

My husband is also from a high HIV country so I wasn't allowed, despite negative HIV test, I've also tried to give blood overseas and they don't want it either due to mad cow disease in the UK

Kayano · 09/02/2012 11:05

I don't know because I am not diabetic nor have been I. A traffic accident.

I would hope to be unconscious if I was

As for diabetes I honestly don't know how I would cope ATM. As I said on my first post I would love to give blood and am hoping to continue with my treatment after I have my baby so I can give blood.

My husband does and there is a blood can comes to our offices so really it's only the mental block stopping me.

I have come a long way and have manage to have blood taken for the baby so it's
Going the right way.

I think if you have a phobia it is crippling but you have to try and be proactive about it, which I am trying my best to do.

I did nearly have a punch up with a
Woman in my old job as she was diabetic and was injecting herself in the canteen... I freaked out. She thought I was being discriminatory against diabetics, I thought she should have some consideration and didn't have to inject while I was eating a tuna sandwich!

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 11:56

Thanks for your reply. I now realise I probably shouldn't have even asked and have you think about it even more sounds awful for you.

at punch-up in the canteen!

Kayano · 09/02/2012 12:00

I don't mind being asked my therapist says talking about it is the best thing. So far so good.

I wanna get over it so much mainly for MrsDV! hangs head

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 12:04

Oh, you sound lovely. I wish you every success with it, and all the best with the baby as well

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 09/02/2012 12:07

Sorry Kayano, I do understand phobias and I know how debilitating they can be, but being diabetic is worse! I think you were being very insensitive to your colleague. Why should she have to spend time after every meal being shut in an unhygienic toilet to give herself life saving medication just because of your irrational fear? I realise that fear is fear, rational or not, but perhaps it should have been you that showed the consideration, seeing as she had something a lot worse than a phobia.

Kayano · 09/02/2012 12:13

Actually I wasn't. I asked if she could not do that sitting at the table (there is a changing area and an rating area and there were other places)

She had done it before and I hadn't said anything as I was shocked and just went and cried in the loo

This was pre treatment btw. Now I could possibly watch her.

She said she needed to inject and I said I understood but there were other places to do it and she then pulled the cap off the needle while holding it up

Cue pure panic from me and shouting from both of us.

I know it will be worse to have diabetes but why inflict that on someone after that have explained about a phobia. At a dining room table?

There was no need and we both ended up hysterical

GrownUp2012 · 09/02/2012 12:14

I think a phobia is actually regarded as a mental illness and can be quite debilitating, and that saying that in comparison a physical disease like diabetes is a lot worse is a little bit unfair.

However, I would make myself scarce while a diabetic injected rather than expect them to go do it elsewhere if I had a needle phobia, and actually in reality I would be trying some CBT and gradual exposure to my phobia to try and resolve it, irrational fear is not what makes a phobia, avoidance of your irrational fear is.

Kayano · 09/02/2012 12:15

I would but she pulled it out so bloody quickly and I was between the wall and the table and a bit squished in

But it's competitive misery innit?

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 12:16

Oi, leave Kayano alone, she's my mate

It might have made an interesting discussion on a new thread as long as it wasn't made personal, but probably wouldn't. Very few people have this phobia and many more have diabetes so it wouldn't be very balanced. And K would feel attacked (again) which is the last thing she needs in her position.

Kayano · 09/02/2012 12:16

I have had cbt. Highly recommended. I was 16 at canteen-gate. I'm 26 and much better now

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 09/02/2012 12:20

No, it's not unfair. Diabetes cannot be avoided, it cannot be cured, it has to be thought about regularly on a daily basis for people that have to inject.

That is nowhere near the same as having a phobia about needles when you can avoid them the vast majority of the time, you can be treated and virtually cured of it.

It is not competitive misery at all. I just thought it was very selfish of you to say that she could have shown some consideration, when she has to consider what she has to do three or more times a day, and you could have just removed yourself and got over it in half an hour.

GrownUp2012 · 09/02/2012 12:22

Oh don't worry, I have phobias myself, I know exactly what it's like to be pinned in and unable to get away from something you are frightened by. As my neighbours heard in the summer when I couldn't get away from the wasp at my food because I had people either side of me on the bench.

I commented because it always seems like physical illness is taken more seriously than mental illness when both can be equally debilitating.

Kayano · 09/02/2012 12:25

Even showing some
Consideration such as a warning and certainly not popping the cap of the needle right in front of my face after I had told her about my phobia.

That age pre treatment if she had said something I wouldn't have freaked and would have made myself scarce.

So yes she could have been more considerate. I've acknowledged that diabetes obviously
Will be worse than a phobia but it's
No need do deliberately rub a phobics face in it.

In the same job I had go
Check on a customer in the loo who had been there for a while. I walked in and saw an arm under the toilet door with a
Needle on it. It took months of breathing and preparation to clean the toilets again!

TheBigJessie · 09/02/2012 12:29

It's general forgetfulness, and the chaos of daily life.

For instance, I promised MrsDeVere, that I would donate again, and I intend to keep that promise. However, since then, I've missed a session through having a cold, and thus having ineligible, germ-laden blood. I may have also missed one through having no childcare.

I've now got the next one written on my calendar. Here's hoping!

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 09/02/2012 12:30

I'm not meaning to have a go at anyone that has enough to deal with already. I really do understand how debilitating phobias can be. Diabetes happens to wierdly be something I have issues with so I don't react well to mention of it or come across well when I'm talking about it because it generally makes me reach for the propranolol to help calm the resulting palpitations.

Sorry.

More compassion needed all round methinks.

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 12:33

Kitchenroll, but diabetes can be managed and controlled. Same with phobias, and Kayano is doing everything she can to do so. She had even told the colleague.

I was being a twat upset last night but I'd like to think I usually have some understanding and compassion in daily life.

IDoNotLIKEFun · 09/02/2012 12:35

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