To buy the child my son bit a gift?

[CoffeeDog]

I am mortified that my son would ever do this :(

one if the dt's bit another little boy at nursery today - so badly his parents had to collect him to take him to walk in centre he drew blood - alot of blood... The boys are 3 and there was a disagreement over the shiney sticky things :(
Headmistress had a 'chat' with me when i went to collect him. i dont know the other mum or the little boy well they have only been going a few weeks.

Dt seems very sorry about it and is upset and has said he wants to get his 'friend' a present? Should i take him to get a little car and make a card or just leave it?

I think a note from your DS (so written by you, as he is at nursery), but with some contribution from him (scribbles or drawing) is a really lovely thing to do. I think a gift is OTT. Important that your DS gives the card or note too.

I think the card is great, but I would make him give up a small toy of his own as he has stated that he wants the other DC to get something. I wouldn't buy something myself as that's a bit weird. There will probably be other times in your DC's childhood that you may be feeling the same as now. You won't want to buy presents every time. I would think that's a bit creepy for want of a better word. A handmade card would be wonderful .

I had a biter, too, so do know how you are feeling.

I think as it is the little boys idea it should be encouraged. That way he is "allowed" to say sorry his way (by making the card) and also by doing what the teacher told him to do which was to SAY sorry.

People say sorry in many different ways and imo it doesn't really matter how but the sentiment that counts.

yes i do agree that you shouldnt buy anything but that if he really wants to, to give something of his (and not the broken dredges of the toy box as much as you'd like to)

also do you think that not having his twin there might have made feel anxious? has he been on his own before?

Scuzy I work with challenging behaviours so don't really see biting as a big deal. It's well within the range of normal behaviours for children who haven't yet learned to communicate fluently (eg because they happen to be young!). So tbh I would be a bit embarrassed (and I've only had children who were bitten rather than biters) by the other parent's embarrassment.

[facepalm] is that what dt stands for? is he a twin? every day's a school day.

OP definately try find out where his frustration or anger came from, if he was younger perhaps but he knows it was wrong which is a good thing and i'm not saying he is not a good little lad but would want to investigate more

• meant if he was younger perhaps might just be teethings or not being able to communicate better

thats good to know saintly because i had a biter - still has on occassion bit me. it was horrible and felt so bad for the other kids and parents. but yes he did eventually learn thankfully.

ah i see where your coming from saintly you have a point i guess. well then perhaps no gift just a card made from the lad.

He is a twin his brother was off nursery today poorly they have both been on their own before with no problems ;-(

Scuzy when my kids were bitten I always felt very sorry for the biter's parents!

Ds1 has severe learning disabilities - so has a whole host of challenging behaviours (never biting though - except himself) so after 12 years of that a 2 or 3 year old biting just doesn't really register iykwim so I would feel mortified that they felt so bad! I woukdn't think they were bonkers in a nasty way, just a bit bonkers!

I would apologise to the parents make it really clear that you don't tolerate biting and working with your son and the nursery to stop your son doing this , Tbh children can go through stages we are shocked at biting being the most common and if you buy a present for a child then you will be out of pocket by the time the phase is over these things happen ,

Think it's a nice idea to help smooth over the trouble with the other family

Make your DS draw a sorry card for the other child. That way, he will get involved and this will reinforce the fact that he is sorry. It is a more personal gesture for the other child and his parents as well.

You can also write a small note in it that says that you have made your DS understand that what he did is wrong and that you hope that the other child is fine now.

Thanks - I would just Give him one off the Ones from toy box but if other twin sees it He will have a strop - the cars are shared.

I have to POP to Tesco in a bit for some milk so will pick up a little cheep one I think it matters more to me that nursery had to call the child's mum to collect him early as they thought he should. Be seen at walk in centre. If it was a little nip and a note in the bookbag I dont think I would be that surprised

I'd say a card. Otherwise you will be forking out a lot of presents over the years to come! DS is five and came home with an egg on his head after the boys game got a bit mad in the playground! They constantly push, shove, wrestle and someone always gets hurt. Although its usually in good humour.

When my DS was 3yrs old and at School Nursery, a little girl scratched him across the face.

Her parents were mortified and the next day, the little girl gave my DS a homemade card with a Quality St sweet sellotaped inside

honestly these things happen, it's not nice but happens fairly frequently in nursery or group situations. it's great your supporting the nursery. i once had a child the same age bite another and wouldn't let go! fortunately the other child had been a prolific biter in his time so his mum was very understanding.

Card and apology, no present.