To want to slap people who say to me 'to get more mental stimulation'

[carocaro]

I am a SAHM who is doing an Open Uni degree, setting up a small web based business from home as I can't get a job since youngest DS went to school as well as doing volunteer stuff at local organisation for over a year.

So the fact I don't have a 9-5 salaried job does not make me a thick dopey twat! I was never 'unstimulated' when I was a SAHM with young children either! OMG I read, engaged myself with the world amongst other things.

So I don't need to go out to a job for more 'mental' stumulation as I have plenty. I don't need a job for this or to be defined as relevant to society, I am as me as I am now!

Erm!! Who says this to you and why? It seems an unusual thing to just drop in to the conversation. What led up to someone saying this to you and how did you respond?

YRNBU whoever said it was you sound like u have loads on your plate

People actually say that? Really ?

It sounds like you have plenty of mental simulation if you are setting up a small business and doing an OU course.

Do people actually say this to you ? I'm quite content at the moment in my own little world that 'mental stimulation' isnt the bee all might pencil it in for next year

When I stopped working and having it encompass every waking-hour I got more "mental stimulation" because the internet had been invented and I had the time to read the news and explore areas of professional, political and personal interest.

I don't think my life would change that much if I had 100 million in the bank as opposed to the current one thousand. Opportunities would, but I'd still want to read and learn most of the time wherever I was.

Some people have no inner resources.

YANBU. I've definitely heard that phrase lots of times - people rarely suggest it directly to you but they'll explain that's why they've gone to work and it has the hidden implication that you must be content staying at home because your little brain doesn't need as much stimulation!

These are often people who are so run off their feet with their oh-so mentally stimulating jobs that they rarely pick up a book or go to public lectures, museums etc .

Boring is as boring does

You can stimulate your brain anywhere

YANBU. To satisfy them why not seek a position on minimum wage with a flexible rota system where your hours suit the multi national business and the tax payer subsides the lack of living wage then soak up spare hours with reality tv.

Ah 'mental stimulation' my arse!

Give me money and i can stay home reading books, playing music, surfing, going to theatre....I can even sit alone in a room and think.

Imo paid work is for money. You should have a life and stimulation outside work.

It's funny when people say to me that at least my job gets me out of the house! Because without it I'd grow roots to the sofa and never go anywhere again . I was never ever bored on maternity leave and love being on holiday from work. My job is to pay the bills, my own time is for activities that I enjoy and find mentally stimulating!

YABU to apply things other people say about themselves on yourself.

I have said that about MYSELF but in no way meant that SAHM are boring and don't get mentally challenged. They are probably more inventive and self-motivated than I am.

I need a set time where I have to work/challenge brain or I won't get around to doing it and will decide to play with kids or mn instead.

I did an OU degree as well and am the worst procastonator (sp?) ever!!!

This is why I need to work to get mentally challenged and you don't.

But I don't think work is only for money, it is important to find a job you enjoy doing.

Please explain the context in which people say this to you.

YABU. it's not a phrase I've ever used in real life but one of the reasons I work (part time) is for the mental stimulation. I work in a very specific area of research, I am very skilled at what I do and I absolutely love it. It is a fact that my work provides mental stimulation which I would not get if I was at home full time.

I feel the same as SJisontheway . I have never heard anyone say this about someone else, only about themself. Like SJ I get a lot of mental stimulation from my work. It doesn't mean that other things don't stimulate me too, but definitely work brings specific challenges and situations.

Not sure I believe anyone really says that to anyone

To put in context, youngest and last DS started school in September and just a few comments from other working and non-working mums is the context of 'what are you going to do now' etc etc. Not that its any of their business what I do, but it's the presumption, from some on both sides, that now both my children are at school, after spending years brain dead at soft play centres and costa coffee. Or even 'are you going to get yourself a little job?' as I am again rendered useless after being a SAHM.

Does that make it clearer?

carocaro, tell them you don't want to work then. You're reading to much in to what people say.