AIBU?

[frownieface]

OK so I probably am,

My next door neighbor is very old (she is well into her 80's) and is partially deaf, anyways. I can tell you what time she turns her hearing aid off because she turns her television up, and it is to the point where I can tell she is watching BBC news and I can turn my TV to mute and still have full audio.

Now this has been going on for months (well since I moved) and I have tried to be understanding, but when you get up at half 5 you lose patients pretty quickly.

I dunno I could move my room around but it really will not change much, there is no option of changing rooms.

The lack of sleep is making me more cranky than usual. Sorry if I offend anyone.

YANBU... but really not sure how you can resolve it. I'd start by simply going round and having a polite LOUD word with her about it.

Yes, go around and have a polite word.

She probably has no idea the TV is disturbing you.

I don't think there is anyway to resolve it either , when I can hear the TV she is downstairs in her house I am upstairs in mine.

YANBU at all.

I don't understand why you just don't tell her? Politely. How do know it cannot be resolved if she is not made aware there is a problem?

I'm confused.

YANBU and you won't offend anyone.

My grandma became deaf in her later years. She didn't like wearing her hearing aids - they were uncomfortable; they amplified all sounds, not just the ones she wanted to hear; they 'buzzed' and she couldn't get to grips with them; and finally they were a constant reminder that she was getting old.

She used to do the exact same thing your neighbour is doing - take them out in the evening and turn the volume on the TV up just so that she could enjoy it. I think you have to go round there and explain to your neighbour that she is disturbing you. She isn't doing it on purpose, but she does need to be told.

It's so hard - she is not trying to be disruptive, or even being antisocial, she's just trying to watch the news.

Maybe a wee conversation about how thin the walls are?

There is a set of head phones that are wireless and connect to the TV, she can't then hear without her hearing aids and you have to rely on your own tv for the audio

I suppose it's the feeling that I may cause offense that is stopping me from saying anything,

Have you moved next door to my Gran? Seriously, just have a polite word. My Gran used to have hers blasting away day and night but we got her to embrace subtitles (although her neighbours were nasty buggers, so we only did it to stop them hassling her) and she prefers them now. Do you ever see or meet any relatives popping in to see her? Perhaps you could just have a friendly chat with them.

why not buy her a present of some nice big headphones?

She probably has no idea at all about the nuisance she is causing.

You'd probably do best to have a friendly word about the noise, and what times of day it bothers you.

One thing to be aware of: cost of batteries for hearing aids. As she is over 80, she probably gets a supply for free, but if these aren't sufficient for the number of hours she wants to be able to hear, then turning the volume up is her only option in order to conserve her battery time. Perhaps an area to explore is having her readjust the times when she uses her hearing aid (no harm in the telly blaring out when you're out - or is she already working round preferences of other neighbours?). Or whether there are any options for increasing her battery supply?

I would also try and go down the headphone route. Perhaps your neighbour is unaware at how loud her TV is. I know someone who is hard of hearing and wears headphones because she doesn't want to upset the neighbours.