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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Grr - softplay woes

27 replies

AuthorAl · 07/02/2012 18:21

I took my three year old (just three) to her usual softplay - and in the space of an hour she was hit on the head by a lad her age (I didn't see it but she came over crying and pointing him out), got uglily yelled at to go away (screaming inches from her face) by two older bolshie girls who didn't like her playing in the same space, and then jumped on the stomach by a lad her age who took aim and dived in the ball pool on top of her. I picked up my girl and politely and quietly said 'Please don't jump on people' to the boy. Granted I did have my finger pointed at him but that was - er - to make a point. Next moment a harridan swept past and swooped him up and turned and gave me loads of abuse. My interaction and size had apparently made the poor boy cry - like my daughter - and it was in no way to do with the fact he had done something horrid and been found out. More abuse followed by the woman and I protested that I had been reasonable but that my daughter was innocent and I did not want to stand by. I was told that I should have gone to her (as if I know who each child's parent is) or seen the manager - who was quite a way away. I replied that my daughter may have been hurt further if I had left the scene. Cue more ranting. I left and was given a free pass on my way out and a sympathetic word from the manager. I feel I should not have to stand by when other children are hurtful - twice I did, but the third time I stepped in. Now seething at how some parents will always protect their child even when they are in the wrong. I was a teacher and there were always parents whose children can do no wrong. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheresASpareChairOverThere · 07/02/2012 18:35

YANBU but IME you can't win at soft play. My kids think I am a big misery but we don't go for this reason, something always happens.

yousankmybattleship · 07/02/2012 18:42

YANBU but unfortunately I think there are a lot of lazy parents who take their kids to soft play because they can't be arsed to supervise them. I gave up going to soft plays because there were so many unsupervised and unruly children. All children can be silly or thoughtless, but their parents should be there to step in and talk to them. Sorry your daughter had a bad time of it!

PoppadumPreach · 07/02/2012 19:44

YANBU - some parents are arseholes who - as you say - think their child can do no wrong. these kids will grow up to be hideous adults.

Tigresswoods · 07/02/2012 19:45

Soft play is Satan's work.

Bingdweller · 07/02/2012 19:48

Sounds like the usual soft-play hell.... Awful places, no fun at all keeping an eye not only on your own DC but all the other little shits darlings.

I try and keep our visits to a minimum!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 07/02/2012 19:55

YANBU I hate soft fucking play.

cheekyseamonkey · 07/02/2012 19:58

YANBU but we keep our visits to a minimum too (as I'm sure you do). There are too many little shits with lazy arsehole parents other children with indulgent parents, who will always behave in this sort of way. But interestingly can't take it if a bigger rougher child does the same to them IME.

AlbertoFrog · 07/02/2012 20:00

OMG I thought it was just me. I asked a small girl (3ish?) to stop throwing balls at DS's (15 months) face and got a load of verbal.

From the child.

Not a parent in sight

YANBU

aquashiv · 07/02/2012 20:03

You enter those places at your peril. Not sure if its the lack of oxygen and all that gang warfare that turns all who enter into characters from Animal Farm.

AuthorAl · 07/02/2012 20:05

Still stressed hours later - I shouldn't let it get to me - I was genuinely astonished by the other parent's reaction - my kid was hurt not hers, by hers! - ah well, the local area has a certain - ahem - reputation and maybe it was to be expected. Bullying kids - bullying parents ... same sad old cycle.

OP posts:
Chundle · 07/02/2012 20:05

My 7 yr old dd was punched in the face viciously (I saw it) by a boy her age at softplay totally unprovoked. Cue bleeding nose!!! When the little shit walked past me I told him in a somewhat hushed tone if he ever did it again I would break every single one if his fingers and that I would always be watching him. He never told his mother prob as too scared after what he did to dd and he sat solemnly and hopefully thoughtfully at the side for rest of time we were there. I like to think he won't do this again!!!

KittyFane · 07/02/2012 20:11

I was a teacher and there were always parents whose children can do no wrong. Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU

This sort of thing can bite mummy hard on the backside later on in life.

Imagine a student who can do no wrong in Mum's eyes- ever, at all, under any circumstance. All the way up to the final year of secondary school Mum defends the student when teachers complain about poor attitude, lack of work, aggressive behaviour. Phonecalls home are met with anger that her child is being victimised by teachers and pupils.
Then, one day during the student's last year at school a teacher phones home after another incident and is surprised to hear the student's mum say "yes, whatever sanction you like, I don't know what do with them,, they are rude and aggressive at home too"

We teach our DC right and wrong through our reactions.

These women drive me mad.

but as a teacher, I only have to put up with their DC for 5 years but mums have their spoilt brats for life

PoppadumPreach · 07/02/2012 21:18

Oh Kitty i now live in hope that such karma exists.

these slack parents are one of my top bugbears (and I have a lot - I'm a bit of a whinging moany face)

KittyFane · 07/02/2012 21:27

poppadum :o Believe me, it does!!

PoppadumPreach · 07/02/2012 21:44

Ace! I shall now wish such karma on any such lazy parent i meet.....

(I am still smarting from the incident where one mum called my 3 year old a "silly naughty boy" - in front of him - as he had the audacity to retaliate against her considerably older daughter when she pushed him - I think they must just be a bit stupid)

DialsMavis · 07/02/2012 21:46

Soft play is excellent preparation for secondary school Wink

AuthorAl · 08/02/2012 10:27

@DialsMavis - it certainly is ... though I am sure our local secondary is a beacon of perfect children/parent behaviour ... er, scratch that - the same mutant parents that use the softplay are in the secondary's catchment area.

OP posts:
HandMini · 08/02/2012 10:37

GawD!!! Dreading DD (8 mo) being old enough for this sort of thing. I bollocked some kid on Sunday for lobbing a snowball which nearly hit her in her buggy...bad form?

backwardpossom · 08/02/2012 10:40

I detest soft play. YANBU.

Pixieonthemoor · 08/02/2012 10:52

IME the only way to do soft play is be the very first through the doors and only stay for the first hour. The hideous aggressive parents with their ghastly bolshie offspring are too lazy to get there that early! I have lost count of the times my smalls have been pushed over/punched/jumped on/shoved out of the way. Why does it seem to attract the worst kind of parenting and children out of Lord of the Flies?? Soft play is the office of Beelzebub!!

FutureNannyOgg · 08/02/2012 10:54

Was this at the weekend by any chance?

I often take DS to a local SP, it's small but it has a contained toddler area (he is 18mo) and he loves the ball pool. I usually go on a weekday when it is really quiet (no more than 4 families) and friendly. I went on Saturday because I was in the area at a loose end. It was completely packed, and the toddler area (signposted under 3s) was full of older kids, most of whom seemed to be older siblings of toddlers who had been sent to "look after" them, but were diving in the ballpool and knocking the little ones all over the place.

I did speak to one boy of about 7 (who had just been told off by his mum for not "looking after" his little sister - she then disappeared) who narrowly missed landing on DS head, not telling him off, just reminding him to mind the little ones, I don't think you need the parent's permission to remind a child of the appropriate way to behave, you weren't telling him off or punishing him for it.

PamPerdbrat · 08/02/2012 10:55

alberto the exact same thing happened to me on Sunday to my 15mo DS! I said firmly to the little boy (who shouldn't have been in the under 2's bit anyway; why is it SUCH a magnet to older children?!) "that's a horrid thing to do; my little boy is MUCH smaller than you". Then removed my DS. The father of the child sat there smiling indulgently. FFS.

piprabbit · 08/02/2012 10:59

My favourite phrase at soft play is 'I can see you' or 'I can see what you are doing' said forcefully enough to ensure the disruptive child hears and makes eye contact with me.

I've found that it's not a phrase that other parents really object to, it doesn't seem to come under the heading of a telling off. But it makes a guilty child stop and think for long enough so that I can remove my child from the situation.

HandMini · 08/02/2012 11:04

Pip...I like it. You're playing with their tiny miiiinds!!

SailorVie · 08/02/2012 11:05

Chundle Grin you are a legend. I shall take a leaf from your book the next time I venture into the hell that is soft play.