Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to be bricking it and just increasing my stress levels? how can I stop?

17 replies

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 13:18

I am 23wks pg with DC2. DC1 is 20m. I work 3 days, study, have house to try and keep tidy. DP is helpful with practical stuff but not the most sensitive of men.

I find pregnancy stressful. I worry constantly about whether the baby is moving enough/too much/whatever, every twinge in my stomach is labour, every bit of discharge is PROM, you get the idea.

The last few days I've been really wound up. DC1 has been ill, which is stressful in itself (seems ok now), got an essay to do, house is a tip, you can imagine. Last night DP said he was concerned about how stressed I have been.

I'm on my lunch break and googled "stress in pregnancy" - WHY??? Just a parade of articles about birth defects, stillbirth, god knows what, all caused by maternal stress. I would imagine my cortisol is through the roof now :(

Got no leave left to take any time off work (finishing at 32wks thank god) so that's not an option.

What can I do? I know I'm being very unreasonable. Please somehow bollock me into relaxing for the sake of this poor child.

OP posts:

sunshineandbooks · 07/02/2012 13:24

If you're really that anxious, it may be worth going to see your midwife. IT's not that uncommon, but if it's having a profound effect on your daily life your MW should be aware of it and may be able to offer some help.

Alternatively, find something to do that distracts you sufficiently to take your mind off it. I find reading is better at this than watching TV, but everyone is different. Using MN is a good distraction as long as you stay off stressful/pregnancy-related topics. Long baths with a relaxing CD in the background? Exercise is good too. Lots of not-too-demanding walks might be really helpful.

Hope you feel beter soon and congratulations.

mrsjay · 07/02/2012 13:24

Ok step away from google DO IT , try and put things into little boxes of importance with you and baby in the most important box with your toddler of course , , calm down let things slide , Its fine to let some of the housework go , , speak to your Midwife or gp about anxiety which i think is normal in pregnancy but you are worrying about the worrying ,

flibbertywidget · 07/02/2012 13:24

.... I think stress in pregnancy is normal. Do you have an outlet for your stress? Mine was yoga, which helped enormously..

YANBU, but you do need to try and sort out your panic levels..

mumblechum1 · 07/02/2012 13:28

Could you find time to go to a Pilates or Yoga class? I find them really helpful. DH meditates to keep his stress levels down but it can take a while to work properlty if you're not used to meditation.

Kayano · 07/02/2012 13:32

Go to the GP. I got signed off for a while with pregnancy anxiety and honestly it was just 1 week but it really helped me
Sort myself out. Plus it was good
To talk about it!

Original poster

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 13:45

I can't find any pregnancy exercise classes in my city that aren't during the day (where I live is not very pilates, to be honest), as I did fancy doing something like yoga. I thought about swimming but I really dislike it so that would probably be silly! I normally like things that get you hot and sweaty like dance or running so not safe in pg. I might look at getting a DVD or something to try, I think Davina's is meant to be good.

Thought about calling in sick today to try and pull myself together but my organisation has a draconian attendance policy (and my department are not great about pregnancy/carer's leave etc) and as I've already had 3 episodes of sick leave in the last calendar year it'd bring a whole lot more stress down on me.

I will see how I feel tonight, if I still feel really edgy I'll go to the GP in the morning. I don't have a midwife at the moment, she left so I would have to ring the surgery anyway.

Thank you for the replies, I had to go cry in the toilet at "people on the internet being nice to me" fgs!

OP posts:

R2PeePoo · 07/02/2012 13:59

I was incredibly stressed during both pregnancies for a variety of reasons but both DS and DD are absolutely fine.

Have you looked into relaxation techniques? I got a book and a CD from a crystally weirdy health shop and tried to follow it as best I could. I would lie down and put the relaxing music on, close my eyes and mentally examine my body for tense and stressed muscles and relax them. Then starting at my toes I stretched the muscles then relaxed them, working up to my calves and then all the way up my body. Once my body was relaxed I let my mind wander on things I liked, places I wanted to go, really concentrating on the sensations of e.g. the beach, sand between my toes, water lapping against the shore. I kept my breathing deep and slow.

These techniques really helped and I ended up using them in labour too. Perhaps something like a hypnobirthing book/CD or course would be useful.

It won't hurt your baby I'm sure to be this stressed, but it can't be very nice for you to feel like that all time.

I had a look on Amazon and I'm about 90% it was this book www.amazon.co.uk/Meditations-Your-Pregnancy-Conception-beyond/dp/1582380554/ref=sr_1_44?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328622995&sr=1-44 I used. Plenty of others on there too, but I think its a pretty individual choice.

LizzieMo · 07/02/2012 14:10

My blood pressure went through the roof in my last few weeks of pregnancy due to a stressful situation. In the end I was put on tablets to control it, as the midwife felt the high BP would do more damage than the potenetial risk from the tablets. My child was born perfectly healthy & fine. I think anxiety in pregnancy is unavoidable, probably most mums have worried about too little movement/funny tummy twinges at some point.

I would also check with your work about the sick policy- when I was working (donkeys years ago now) pregnancy related sickness was not recorded the same way as 'normal' sickness.

Original poster

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 14:10

Thanks R2PeePoo (love that username!), that's a good idea. I did have the hypnobirthing book last time and did the breathing exercises in the bath and such but gave it to a friend as it turns out I'm not built for natural childbirth . I have tried hypnotherapy for something in the past and will have to see if I can remember how to do the self-hypnosis!

My mum and aunties are into all that sort of thing so will ask them for some recommendations :)

OP posts:

Original poster

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 14:12

x posts with LizzieMo - you are totally correct that pregnancy related sickness is supposed to be treated differently but my work are just...argh! I'm not sure how I would prove it's pg related either? Unless I was signed off for a week + which is maybe a bit excessive for some overly hormonal silliness.

This afternoon I am mostly reducing my stress by not doing much work...

OP posts:

springydaffs · 07/02/2012 14:57

When I had a lot of anxiety I learnt the 'floating' technique re float over everything. Lost your keys? float over to your bag to find them; float around the house looking for them. I think the idea is to not engage with the stressful events going on around you. Breathing is also brilliant for turning off stress hormones: re breathe deeply and it switches off the adrenalin response; if your breathing is shallow you're on high alert and can't think straight = vicious circle.

Can you get a cleaner?

NorthernWreck · 07/02/2012 15:29

Is there anything you can let go? You can't be in charge of it all, and the time. Are you doing most of the childcare and the houseworlk?
Your partner need to step up.
I had a lot of stress in pregnancy, and ended up getting ill (turned out fine though) and also worried about effects on the baby (he was fine too.)
I do think you need to offload some of the pressure somehow though.

Original poster

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 15:53

I like the idea of floating. Like a balloon in the shape of a radish for some reason - I will investigate such techniques.

I would LOVE a cleaner but we cannot afford such things. Also our house is so small I'd feel like a fraud!

My DP does loads, it's not his fault I've got crap time management and am a big stresshead :)

OP posts:

numbertaker · 07/02/2012 16:37

I agree, step away from google.

When I was preg with DS2 I had flu blown flue (in bed for two weeks). Then my lovely MIL died when I was 6 months preg, I was in the room. I went into shock.

Baby was born fine.

numbertaker · 07/02/2012 16:38

*full blown flu.

Fecklessdizzy · 07/02/2012 17:05

No more Google for you OP 'tis the Devil's Doodles, so it is ...

Really, though, the balloon thing sounds brilliant! Breathing deeply and slowly is good too.

When I was pregnant with DS2 I was in a right old state ... I was the size of a house, I couldn't stop throwing up, I was beyond tired and ultra paranoid as I had miscarried our last baby, DS1 was being a total blight and only sleeping for 20 minutes at a time and everything was totally grim. Non of this affected DS2 in the slightest.

Float on ...

Original poster

OhMissJones · 07/02/2012 20:39

Tonight I have;

Not googled anything

Eaten chocolate

Played with DD

Had a bath whilst pretending to be an inflatable radish

Emailed my tutor to say I am going to submit unfinished but would really appreciate any feedback he can give

and I feel a LOT better. Thanks everyone. good to hear of all these babies popping out happily too.

OP posts:

Flip