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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you are doing extensive building work it is only good manners to inform your neighbours?

25 replies

OhTheConfusion · 07/02/2012 12:27

I live in a terrace house. I have a 5month old baby and although I am on maternity leave I still do some work from home.

Our neighbour has been having major building work going on for 10 days now. The drill starts at 7.55am (nice and prompt!) and the sawing, hammering, shouting etc continues till after 6pm. I fully understand that work needs to be done, however... AIBU to feel a bit of warning and rough idea of how long it will be going on would be nice? DD is struggling to nap with the noise so hail, rain or snow we have been going extra outings for peace!

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 07/02/2012 12:29

YANBU. Could you just ask the builders how long they intend to be there for just so you know?

trustissues75 · 07/02/2012 12:30

In the interests of being a reasonable and thoughtful neighbour, yes, good manners it would be. But then,manners seem to be somewhat generally lacking these days. Sorry you have a thoughtless neighbour.

JustHecate · 07/02/2012 12:37

Yes. It would have been nice of them to tell you.

Knock on the door and ask how long they expect the project to last.

Kayano · 07/02/2012 12:39

I knocked on my neighbour and told them we were building a fence one day to replace the old one. Just to make her
Aware of noise and hammering of nails.

It was only one Saturday but it's
Still nice to let people know!

Original poster
OhTheConfusion · 07/02/2012 12:39

Thanks everyone. I didn't want to knock last week, as it had only started the Thursday before and I would have seemed petty, but I think I may knock this evening and enquire.

On the plus side, the baby weight should be dropping off with the miles I am walking!

OP posts:
mrsjay · 07/02/2012 12:42

I live in a flat no young children though , anyhoo my neighbour moved in xmas eve , they were doing stuff before they moved in , the last owner had it lovely before they moved , but everybody likes to put a stmap on the place , now move on to middle of january and he was still drilling and banging away at 10pm what they hell was he drilling and he couldve told us or apologised for it being so late at night , who drills at 10 oclock jeez .

FutureNannyOgg · 07/02/2012 12:45

I just looked out of my window, and saw a bloke up a scaffold looking in. I am poorly in my jimjams, was a bit of a shock.

YANBU

Dickensia · 07/02/2012 12:48

My neighbour came round the other day to tell me that she was having two skips, one at the front where we park our cars and one at the back where our garages are. She was having paving laid around her lawns so they didn't have to strim the edges., Thoughtful of her.

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/02/2012 12:50

Yanbu, we forewarned our neighbours on both sides about our recent building works, even though the ones on one side omitted to tell us when they were knocking through a new fireplace. Made me feel slightly smug and superior, it did!

Bossybritches22 · 07/02/2012 13:00

Could you ask the builders what time they go off for lunch as you

"could get the baby down for her nap while it's quiet" ?

Makes them aware it's a problem. That said if your baby can at least get off then she'll probably sleep through anything if she's really tired. Mine slept through a plumber drilling a 22" drill bit through her adjoining wall at that age, the men had had their lunch when she went down and an hour later had to get on so they went for it & she slept on!

YANBU though, it would've been nice to know,regardless but maybe they don't realise you have a baby?

Original poster
OhTheConfusion · 07/02/2012 13:13

Good idea Bossy, I will try that.

They do know I have a baby as they sent a lovely card when she arrived. They are nice people, just a bit unconsiderate over this.

Have got DD to sleep now, the poor soul is in the hall as the only room other than kitchen and bathroom that dosn't join their home.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/02/2012 13:16

YANBU - it would have been courteous of them to forewarn you - presumably you had an inkling as major work obv needs planning permission!

YABU however, if you expect them to let you know re lunch/break times for your baby...you cant define times in the building trade, they will have a break when a particular section of work is done and asking how long that will take is like asking them how long is a piece of string!

Original poster
OhTheConfusion · 07/02/2012 14:13

I have just met my neighbour on the path, he hopes the work will be finished within one month :( They are re-wiring, new floor boards (flood damage), re-plastering, new kitchen, new heating system etc so not something they needed planning permission for. I am happy for them to do the work as the house had not been updated in atleast 40years.

I would just have liked a bit of notice to give me the opportunity to re-arrange my work scheduel this week.

OP posts:
Deux · 07/02/2012 14:31

When my neighbour's house was being renovated and DD was a baby, the builders very kindly informed me every day if it was going to be noisy or not and if work was going to be on the party wall.

That way I was able to go out on days when it was really bad. Could you ask something similar?

Also, if this is work that has required planning permission, I think part of the PP stipulates what hours audible works can be carried out, usually 8 - 4.

margoandjerry · 07/02/2012 14:36

YANBU. I only found out my neighbours were planning to excavate their basement and garden to build an under-garden room (we are in a terraced house) when the planning application form came round from the council. I think it's bloody rude. They will have to move out and to be honest, we may well move out because it's going to be horrific, and they haven't even done me the courtesy of knocking on the door to talk to me about it.

It's not that I object to the work (and couldn't, legally, anyway) but when something has such a huge impact on your life it's just the right thing to do.

Original poster
OhTheConfusion · 07/02/2012 16:19

Oh gosh Margo, a polite 'hey guess what' would not have gone a miss! When does the work begin?

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 08/02/2012 08:26

Betty I wasn't suggesting the builders time their breaks around the baby just a way of hinting to the neighbour how noisy it is all being. Some folk just don't realise how thin the walls are! Grin

Margo that sound horrendous, can you have a word? You may not be able to do anything legally but use the opportunity of the planning application to express your concern.
As you say if THEY are moving out then you can be it'll be awful for you too. The planning officer will be able to advise I'm sure.

Threeprinces · 08/02/2012 08:31

They should have warned you but they gave the right to do work to heir property so you just have I put up with it for the time it takes. We have been disturbed by neighbours building works and no doubt disturbed them with our extension a few years ago. That just happens sometimes but being polite and friendly goes a long way.

Scholes34 · 08/02/2012 09:44

We've done three lots of building works over 12 years on our house. I don't particularly like one of my neighbours, don't find it easy to talk to him, but we made a point on every occasion of pre-warning them of the work, even though we knew they wouldn't be happy about it. We weren't doing anything more than work under permitted development and the neighbour couldn't object and stop the work, but we took the time to go through the plans and explain the timescales and what would be happening. We gave them gardening vouchers to replace plants they lost through the work.

OP if you find yourself doing building works at any point in the future, take the time to talk the works through with your neighbours, even if you feel you've not had the same respect from them. You've got to continue living next to them for the near future so it's important to maintain good relations with your neighbours.

minimisschief · 08/02/2012 11:17

What is telling you going to achieve? you will still have the same problems

ninedragons · 08/02/2012 11:39

Our horrific downstairs neighbours informed us that their renovations would take "a couple of weeks". Nine months later (drilling every single day), I snapped and flew downstairs screaming at them for waking my baby AGAIN. They patronised me and told me it was only me who had a problem, and we had a fight on the staircase about no, actually everybody fucking hated them but everyone else was too polite to say anything.

Not my proudest moment but they were very lucky I didn't have a gun in the house - it really got to the point I would have used it on them.

Nobody speaks to them anymore. At the outset, a bottle of wine, a bunch of flowers and a team of builders capable of working to a reasonable schedule would have gone a long way.

limitedperiodonly · 08/02/2012 11:44

yanbu. IME people avoid telling you things because they're the sort of people who say: 'I don't like confrontation' so end up creating a world of confrontation and bad feeling during the work and for years after.

If you know what's going on and what to expect, how can you reasonably object?

ninedragons · 08/02/2012 11:58

Minimischief, informing your neighbours means they can make arrangements to be out during the worst of it.

Nothing like settling down on the sofa to breastfeed a newborn, then the drilling starts up, so you have to get dressed, get the baby dressed, then go out and find a cafe where you spend $50 on drinks and food so you can sit there all day. With advance warning I could have gone to my parents and sat on their sofa all day.

My neighbours have just bought some very expensive-looking plants. My balcony looks down on theirs. I am considering giving them a squirt of Round Up.

Naoko · 08/02/2012 12:01

Oh god I feel your pain. I too pigeons in a terrace, and next door is undergoing complete renovation. They have been doing noisy work every weekday since September, and I had no notice of it either. I'm about ready to kill someone.

Have to go and argue with the builders later too. They keep moving my bin to park their vans. Heard them Bitching about it being in the way yesterday. It's only there because I can't get it round the back of the house due to all their gear blocking my access...

Naoko · 08/02/2012 12:02

...pigeons? Live, obviously. Bloody autocorrect. Not sure what pigeons have to do with anything, all we see here is seagulls anyway.

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