to think my mum does this deliberately?

[vegetariandumpling]

I know I'm being very petty and childish but this is seriously annoying me!

For pretty much my whole life I have needed lots of sleep and still got tired very easily. Anytime I yawned/said I felt tired/wanted to sit down etc DM would say 'you need to go to bed earlier'. I have always gone to bed pretty early but it's been gradually getting earlier and earlier. Atm I usually fall asleep in front of the TV around 8pm and then go to bed at 9. If I could I would just go to sleep as soon as I get home from work.

So now everyday when I say I want to go to bed, DM complains. Stupid whining "Oh noo don't go to bed. You. Can't. Be. Tired. Blah blah blah.

So at some point, when I started going to bed ridiculously early, she gave up telling me to go to bed earlier and started going on about iron tablets. I know I probably do need to take them, but all the various brands I've tried have all given me a headache, even if I take them with a meal.

So after hearing about Spatone, I thought I would give it a try, as it's not meant to cause any side effects because it has less iron in than most supplements. So I bring some home today and mention it to DM who just keeps throwing reasons at me to not take it.
'It will give you a headache"
"Well it says it won't cause any problems if you take it on an empty stomach'
'You can't take it on an empty stomach, it will give you a headache'
'But it says you're meant to take it on an empty stomach'
This goes on for a while until she says
'Well you know, when your Nan took iron in hospital [she was on a drip] it turned all her teeth black'.

At this point I have to admit I lost it and childishly refused to take them.

I know it's silly, but I feel like she's just deliberately winding me up. She just wants it to be my fault I'm tired. I know that it just can't be normal, falling asleep at 8pm or earlier. At the weekend I was too tired to go out and had to sleep for a few hours in the day, and still fell asleep at 8 and slept til the next day. I've got a work dinner next week and I'm worried about fallling asleep at the restaurant (it has happened before)!

I'm just sure this can't be normal, but I know if I go to the Dr he will just say it's because I have low iron levels so I wanted to at least take a supplement first to see if there was an improvement.

If you've read all this, then I'm very sorry for subjecting you to such a long petty rant about nothing. Gah.

just take the iron supplement and ignore her? Then go to the doctor and discuss how you feel after a few weeks.

You need to be in control of this.

Stop telling her so much!!

How recently have you had your iron levels checked? It might not be that at all. Also, if you are going to take any supplements, check what helps with absorbtion rates.

Have you had your B12 checked?

It sounds like your DM isn't happy unless she has got something to nag you about.

Would second a check up with the GP though, but don't tell her you are going

Well, novel idea, try the doctor? many reasons for tiredness, not all iron related.

Perhaps you just like sleeping? I could sleep on a clothesline and wouldnt wake up.

Infact I could sleep as an Olympic event.

If you are that tired I think you need to see your GP to rule our anaemia or diabetes. Go sooner rather than later. Needing that amount of sleep isn't normal.

tbh, it is really better to go to the doctor first, so you aren't wasting time with trial and error.

You're living with your mum? How old are you?

That isn't meant nastily . It reads bloody awful! but I am not having a go. Promise. It's just that it can be really hard to live with parents when you are an adult. To them - you are still a child under their roof. You want your independence, but are still dependent on them because you are under their roof and are pushed into the role of child and often being financially supported by them ie not paying market rents, not totally responsible for everything cooking cleaning etc. It can all get very messed up and really hold you back.

Sometimes it's better to rent a scanky bedsit just to be out there on your own.

Ahhh, those were the days

Have you had full bloods done? Don't assume that the doctor will dismiss this.

I would advise taking a multi-mineral not just iron suppliment and remember that you will not absorb iron unless you have a good level of Vit C going in daily, as well.

I felt tired all of my life, as you say and then whilst i wasn't recovering as expected from Pneumonia, the hospital discovered that i have Lupus. You need a check up. I have been left with low blood pressure which can also cause tiredness and headaches.

I am doing everything that i have been advised and feel awake for the first time in a long while.

No, the doctor won't say that. They will do some blood work and find out if you do need iron or if it is something else.

And ignore your mother. Are you not a grown woman?

Eat some steak.

Take your Spatone.

Move out.

You need to separate these two issues - 1) Mum is a pita who needs to whine and have control over you and 2) your extreme tiredness. You don't really have control over 1 but you DO have power over 2 and you should get yourself to the docs and do not be fobbed off with 'oh, it's just iron'. You need to get to the bottom of it. Don't tell her when you go for the appt nor what regime you will be following to solve the problem - it is none of her business and she will only interfere anyway!!

Bet it is B12. My niece and friend both have to get B12 injections every 3 months. They have the same type of side effect. A simple blood test would let you know if you need them.

Go to the doctors and get it sorted out.. it could be any number of reasons, and being so tired constantly is not normal...

Thanks for your replies everyone. Think I just needed a bit of a moan.
When I go to my GP I always feel I have to try and convince him that something really it wrong IYSWIM. So I didn't want to just go and have him tell me that it's low iron you know?

Justhectate- I'm 23. I was going to move out six months ago but then my fiance called off the wedding and I've been in limbo ever since. Also I don't have a very secure employment situation atm so once that's sorted then I think movign out will be a priority .
trois- I don't think it's that I just like sleeping. I genuinely can't stay awake .

You'll absorb your Spatone better if you take it with orange juice

And what your mum says you have no control over, how you react to it (emotionally or otherwise) is your call.

I'm sorry to hear that, veg. That must have been so painful.

but yes, moving out is a very important thing to do once you hit your 20s.

I am 38, haven't lived with my parents for, well, very very many years but when I visit - I feel about 15. And they treat me like I'm 15! I think if I had to move in there, I'd end up in my room, playing loud music and yelling IT'S NOT FAIR, I HATE YOU at them

It is not recommended for anyone to take iron tablets unless they have had a blood test that shows anaemia.

Go and get a checkup, there are loads of causes of tiredness and if you know there is a cause you'll also learn how to treat it. Don't just battle on.

Your GP WILL take this seriously if you describe to them what you've told us. No use sitting there and just stating 'I'm always tired' - you need to tell him what actually happens.

Could be anything -diabetes, anaemia, hypo-thyroidism and no supplements in the world will help you. Get to your GP.

It sounds like your Mum has 'lived' with your tiredness and is just as blase as you are (sorry - that reads as me being a bit nasty but it's not meant as that). She's being flippant because you're not taking it seriously. As HumphreyCobbler said above, you need to be in control of this.

Oh and by the way, effervescent vit c works amazingly well to help you absorb iron. My GP failed to tell me this when I was anaemic.

I'm wondering whether your tiredness might be to do with the family situation. Sometimes tiredness can be a subconscious way to get some space for yourself.

I'd also recommend talking to your GP and asking for his/her advice, just to check out whether there's an underlying physical issue. And then I'd recommend finding somewhere else to live where you can get the sleep you need without having to deal with the comments/criticisms.

When I am stressed I become very very tired. I think it's because if I'm asleep, then it's an escape from whatever is on my mind.

Mums have a knack of making you feel about 12. I asked my mum to watch my boys for a couple of hours so I could go shoe shopping for ds1 and not bore the others rigid, by taking them too. She spent ages telling me the most efficient way for me to organise my day. I am 38 FFS, I can plan my own day. I just wanted her to say yes or no to the babysitting.

I agree that you should get checked out by the doctor though, just in case something isn't quite right.