fuming for friend = Housing benefit V morgage payments

[thekidsrule]

Hi,this does not effect me but a very close friend of mine

will try to keep brief and to the point

friend has 4dcs,age 3,5,8 and 13,she has been with her partner 16yrs,has worked,bought a home together etc etc

she has found out the last week that he has been having an affair on/off for last 5months,she had suspisions and finally admitted it only when other women rang her (nice) hes said all the normal he dosent want OW,its over,everybody does it (do they) blah blah blah

anyway she has kicked him out,kids devastated,she is but says no way can she take him back,anyway ive been helping her get benefits sorted,buying some shopping (left her overdrawn) generally trying to help

spoke to income support and that wont be a problem,but because she has a morgage and he is on the morgage

1, they say she will have to wait 13wks before they help

2, they will only pay £100 when her morgage is £400,her parner is supposed to make up rest

3, her partner hardly works so cant see that happening as his work has slowed alot due to recession,and if he went onto JSA there no way he could pay it,NO income payment protection

but if she rented they would pay upto approx 750 / 800 pcm for here straight away,its madness they wont really help with her housing because its a morgage but if she rents they will and straight away

I think its disgusting,it wasnt her kids or her fault her partner is a twat,where is the logic in these decisions they make,so now not only has her relationship failed,kids in bits,the only home theyve known could be lost

am i unreasonable to be so cross about this

and hopefully people that think benefits come easy please take note,they dont

Payment protection is really expensive - not everyone can afford to have it and it won't cover her anyway if her ex simply refuses to pay the mortgage, only if he becomes unemployed.

I think government should pay interest on mortgages from day 1. And I think single people who get made redundant and are on contributory jsa should also get it from day 1 - if they would be entitled to it if jsa was non contributory.

Because at moment you have to be on income related benefit for 13 weeks to get help with mortgage interest. Those on contributory jsa who don't have kids normally have to wait 6 months before they get any income related benefit and then another 13 weeks before they get any help at all.

So basically entitlement should be worked out on your overall income rather than income related benefit. This rule means many single people buying cheap properties so very low council tax, who are made redundant will be repossessed before they are entitled to any help.

Lots of people can't get payment protection - lots of short term contracts for example - forget it they won't touch you.

Karma... But I think it's a slippery slope if the government enter into supporting the fallout from infidelity. I really do ( have a read of relationships section)

I'm not even going to read this thread as I know there will be a load of benefit bashing on it from small minded individuals and it'll just make me and/or . (If I'm wrong then I'm delighted!)

thekidsrule I'm sorry your friend is in this position.

Here's some info from SHelter, who are great, which may help her / help you advise her.

Advice on mortgage arrears

Top 10 tips to avoid reposesison

Relationship breackdown & housing: rights checker

Support available for interest payments I know she's applied for this, but there's a load of info here which might be useful

Shelter give great advice, and are definitely worth a call. It's incredibly difficult to get through to them however I found out recently, so perhaps best to call when they open at 8am?

Shelter: 0808 800 4444

I wish her all the best, it's great she's got a friend like you looking out for her :)

Karma thank you,as ive said hope it dosent happen to some on here,some good advice,

ive bought some shopping,she burst into tears,shes a wonderful mother and a great person,its just awful seeing her like this and the kids devastated,their whole life has come crashing down

thanks for all the input

Thats right boneyback if they didnt have payment protection,fuck em. chuck them on the streets with their children and let the greedy banks repossess their homes.

Perhaps she can get a mortgage holiday?

I got a 6 month mortgage holiday when I was on maternity leave.

Thekidsrule- the thing is, people react to things differently and some cope better than others and step up to their responsibilities better.

Some people in this guys situation would step up to the plate when building work dried up. They might travel further afield for work, or re train , or become a SAHP so the wife could work. Sounds like this guy responded by reverting to a teeanger, arsinf about and not doing anything proactive ro improve his situation or nurture his relationship. All very sad for your friend, but it does raise the question of how far the state is reaponsible for peoples behaviour. Other people have had to face recession and hardship without behaving like idiots. The state has a limited purse- many of the people paying those taxes are already financially squeezed, some will be facing the exact same shit your friend has. The state cannot just step in and pay for everyone to continue in the manner of living they are accustomed to.

Sounds like you are a good friend to her and I'm sure she values that

Another thought, what about a lodger?

I don't know how that'll affect her benefits, but perhaps worth looking into - could they make space with the DCs sharing or by one of them coming in with her perhaps?

I've taken in (carefully chosen) lodgers over the years when I've been short of cash and actually made a couple of good friends this way.

I was in a similar situation as your friend. We sold the house and as I couldn't afford to buy, I now rent. It was awful losing my lovely home and security as well as XP being a prize arse. I do empathise with her.
Unfortunately I was left with no option, but years down the line we are happy and settled in a nice new home.

I agree with pp who said it would be useful if HB was paid for a short time, as then she could try to get sorted financially. It's likely that she will be entitled to some HB if she rents anyway.
Also, her husband will be liable for his half of the mortgage too, it's not just down to her.

It's not the state's responsibility to buy her home, but it might prove cheaper to the government to help people get on their feet financially rather than end up on long term benefits.

I would have thought as her DP was self employed it would have been very difficult to get payment protection anyway.

ledkr "How about people who had their rents paid by hb snd then later bought their house under right to buy?? Who got the profit then?" Good point.

OP, With the new benefit cap coming in, I honestly think your friend would be better off staying in the house she is in, and paying the mortgage.

Think of the alternative....house gets repossessed, and your friend ends up in private rented accomodation at a cost of £1250 a month. Not unusual in my area for 3/4 bed house btw.
Shortly when new benefit cap comes in, your friend will find HB will only pay approx £600 a month of that rent, leaving your friend to find £650 a month or face moving again to a smaller? cheaper? property.

OTOH, she can stay where she is, and govt will pay the interest on her mortgage for at least 4 years.

This is obviously if your friend is unemployed until her youngest is 5 btw.

migratingouth,not been to bad on the bashing but am still a little shocked on the lack of compassion for somebody that has not caused this in anyway

it seems theres a cry of get a job she will get childcare

i do think some have no idea how others people live (mw jobs,tight margins,run of the mill familys really)

but i asked for views and dont regret that,pleased that some can be supportive and have empathy

if id of posted just that hed had an affair,most would say kick him out,but when you add the financial part others see it otherwise,anyway been pretty ok as benefit threads go which im grateful for and good suggestions

any other country in the world and she would get fuck all.

makes my blood boil
i really have to stop reading MN I can't take much more

Also, I do agree that help should be from day 1, as it is with tenants.

But you are making assumptions there op

Its frustrating on MN when people assume that if you offer positive suggestions, you must be some privileged person who has no idea about 'real life'.

Fwiw I, and I suspect many others on here, went to pretty mediocre schools, didn't have any great start in life and have always had to work and have always had to find and pay for childcare. Life isnt easy. No one ever said it was. Shit happens. People don't always deal with it the best way. This woman's ex has only had to face what many others have- ie recession. He responded in a rubbish way. But I don't see why that means the state should fund his mortgage. If he'd stepped up and behaved responsibly then the state wouldn't. It's almost rewarding shit behaviour really.

shes just txt ex is coming to see kids in a bit so will be ofline for a few hrs as shes escaping to mine ha ha,will be talking through her options,many thanks,but wont be telling her about this thread,not a mner thank godness,will try to update if any developments and he decideds to man up

Op, compassion? In the form of what?many posters have said they feel for her..... Once that's said then what? She us still in the same position isn't she?

What did you expect? A campaign to be started? Or did you want the ( famous) mumsnet whip round via paypal?

You've had some good advice. Tell her to do what I posted up thread, see if a Ha could buy it and rent it back to her.... There are options. Sympathy is no use, she's not here to hear it!

Wishing you and your friend all the best :)

callmers agree with what your saying about him i do really,just a shame his family have to suffer in so many ways

ILoveTIFFEY if you've nothing constructive to say, why not fuck off are you still here?

Do you simply enjoy kicking people when they're down?

If he is on JSA and she is on income support why don't they put in a joint claim which will cover all of the interest up to £200k after 13 weeks, sorry if somebody has already suggested this.

Yeah migratingsouth course