To think if you say you'll help then you should?

[SausageSmuggler]

I'll try to keep this brief:

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and have SPD which, when it's aggravated leaves me struggling to walk properly for a few days.

I saw a physio who said to get help with the housework that particularly irritates it, in my case it's the vacuuming and the bathroom where I have to bend a lot. I explained this to DH and he agreed, reluctantly, to do these things. Now the issue is that this was about 5 or 6 weeks ago and in that time his areas have been done about two times. I hate nagging but every weekend It's the same thing of he says he'll do it then put it off until it's too late then it's another week of yuck!

I've thought about just sucking it up and doing it myself but the sheer amount of pain I end up in just makes me think it's not worth it. So AIBU to think he said he would help out so he should? If I'm not BU what would be a good way of getting him to do it that doesn't involve us getting annoyed with each other?

Just ask him for £100, and when he asks what for say "to pay the cleaner I am going to hire to render the bathroom sanitary. You might want to risk but I don't"
You can't do it, he won't do it, but it needs doing at some point or you all risk infection and nastiness...
Don't do it yourself, or to him that will prove that you could do it all along and were "slacking" or "putting it on" or "milking it" somehow, and help him justify to himself why he hasn't bothered.

why cant he do it during the week? nag him daily..

I don't really like to mention it during the week because he does work full time and does DS's bath and bedtime when he gets home.

Ironically I think part of the reason he puts it off is because when he does do it he does it so thoroughly it takes him far longer than it needs to. We only live in a 1 bed flat that I can get cleaned completely in an hour and a half. He'll easily take this long just doing that 1 room and the vacuuming. I tried explaining that I'd rather he just did enough to keep it ticking over on a regular basis but that's done nothing.

I should add also that I manage to get my bits done every weekend (dusting and the kitchen) I don't expect him to do it all.

Why don't you just say it cheerfully then instead of nagging? "Why don't you hoover up while I do X?"

Its not something you should feel afraid of mentioning.

Have you considered a star chart for him?

Chas i've tried that and made sure he sees that i'm doing my bit but it still rarely gets done.

Rhonda the thought has occurred to me, a beer chart perhaps. Have to remind myself that he's actually an adult even though he doesn't seem to get the concept of 'if you get it done now then you can go play' lol.

Do not do it yourself. I was advised by a (stupid) midwife that my SPD was just aches and pains and I should exercise, and not wear a support belt as it would weaken the muscles. Until I had to slightly jog for a bus, something crunched and I didn't walk unaided for the rest of the pregnancy, with even rolling over in bed (or being rolled over, more accurately) making my pelvic bones grind against each other and making me cry out. Even though I was on the highest possible doses of codeine and paracetamol, and was too dizzy to watch DD1.

The baby was 2 in November and I still limp when I'm on my period or if I have tried to take a bigger than normal step.

I'm unusual to still have problems, but is it worth risking because your husband is lazy? The vast majority of people feel loads better after they have the baby, but trust me, if you are one of the minority that have lasting problems (whihc by the way, make sex difficult) then he will regret not taking a few minutes out of his day to clean up his own bathroom.

Do the cleaner thing. If he doesn't step up to the plate and you have the money, get a cleaner, or pay a family teenager.

Oh, and I'm sure you are aware, but he is an adult the rest of the time too. He should be cleaning up his own house. Once the baby comes he will just have to do it, especially if you are trying to get breastfeeding established or have birth complications.

Do you know his mum well enough to ask her to have a word? I'm sure he just hasn't considered it - maybe he thinks he has cleaned it enough for his standards? If he is any kind of man, any kind of human being, he will want you to be healthy, and he won't want another person to be running round after him like a servant, especially if they are growing his baby. So he must just not realise that you have higher standards. Surely?

If he doesn't help much now, how useful will he be when the baby's born?

You need to have a chat...

He sounds f*cking useless. Tell him to learn the word responsibility, we all have to work, iIt doen'st just stop when you get home.

My baby is 5 weeks old and I was on crutches for just over 4months due to spd. My dh is a roofer and he had to do pretty much everything, including chasing round after dd. I could dust, iron sitting down and occasionally cook dinner. Otherwise he did everything.... It was just one of those things.

You might want to point out to your dh that if you don't get a bit of help now, you could end up needing help with everything.

On the plus side, I'm pretty much back to normal now just the occasional odd twinge.

I second the getting him to pay for a cleaner. It's 'his areas' therefore his responsibility to ensure that it is done. Just because he won't do it doesn't mean it doesn't still need to be done.

Thanks for the replies, I didn't think I was BU though I do feel I should add a disclaimer that he is very good with most things. He does a lot with DS especially in the last few weeks when he (DS) has been really ill and waking lots in the night. We also alternate with cooking and washing up and stuff like that.

Harrassed thats a very good point about potentially needing help with everything, i'll definitely use that when I talk to him.