That my DD age 4 and half still does not sit down!!

[mrsbertiewooster]

Sorry, another (probably) paranoid mother here but;

DD age 4 and half is still very active and doesn't sit down for very long, at dinner table, on the couch, it's gobble dinner after 5 mins (if she eats at all as she has a terrible appetite) or watch TV for 15 mins and is then climbing or jumping on the couch.
She would happily stand on a chair or toybox to explain something or tell me a story or eat an apple/snack or whatever.

Now it's not from want of trying - I seem to spend my time telling her to sit down, sit properly and esp not jump about then she's eating. Or swing on banister of stairs, etc. I also try and get her outiside as much as possible to run around:)

She has always been a very active/busy child. Always climbing, loves playground, etc. (incidentally, have enrolled her in gymnastics as thought it might help put this energy to good use!) But am starting to worry that she's getting a bit old for this behaviour and i feel friends get irritated when she doesn't sit at the table when we're eating, etc.

Otherwise, she's great, very talkative (never stops) quite clever, and is able to sit and participate well in montessori. I brought up possibility of ADHD with her childcare professionals a few times and they said that she's well able to sit down and do her work/do jigsaws/reading circle,etc no problem.

I feel guilty that maybe I've caused this, that I wasn't clearer about how I want her to sit down, etc. She's just a 'high energy' child, always moving, asking questions, needs contant stimulation. Was at friends DSs birthday yesterday and was just noticing how other children seem much 'clamer'. Even my other children (Dtwins, 18 months) are not as 'busy'.

I know I sound a bit negative about it all, as she a great child/very loveable. Thanks for reading x

sorry if this is a 'non problem' :)

My dd is 7 and still the same.

Even when she does sit for a bit, she kinda dances around.

She wears me out! But I look on it, as, she is fit, healthy and having fun. She does dancing etc but still just an energetic child. Her older sister is so calm...

So I feel your pain! Sorry, no solution though, except if she gets something that really interests here she can sit for quite a while doing it now?

Like you I wondered about ADHD at one worn out point! But I know she isn't because she does have the attention span which ADHD children don't. Just a lively child.

On the plus side, I laughs loads with her!

Sounds just like my daughter the same age - I don't worry about her as she has EXACTLY the same personality as her Dad, so I assume it just came from him!

The eating thing - my dd prefers to eate little and often, I give her small portions and toast fruit etc in between I think it's probably healthier anyway! My concern was she choked on something jumping around.

Thanks rhonda for those reassuring words!! Good to know am not alone!

I reckon it's the kind of child she is

I do think you're worrying over nothing and also find it a bit concerning that you want to label your child as if she has a problem. Clearly the underlying issue is your lack of confidence in your parenting choices. I has a DD like this, she was my first and I had no idea it was unusual til my aunt came on holiday with us when DD was 18 months old and told me that DD was extremely active and not all kids are like that. I wasn't fussed,tbh, maybe not all kids are like that, but mine was. Like your DD, she was clever, active at mealtimes, never sat down. I just made sure that if we were going out, it would be to somewhere she could run around safely. I never made a huge fuss of making her sit down to eat, just gave her a mouthful when she stopped for long enough. She was never a great sleeper either, does your DD sleep? Mine is now 9 , sits to eat, but can't wait to get down from table and get on again with her own thing. She is lovely, polite, spirited (very) and still doesn't need a lot of sleep. Just chill, your daughter is fine.

ds aged 8...stillt he same.
I dont try to quash it, until it gets on my pigging nerves!

Does she attend playgroup or nursery? I am guessing at 4 and a half and does. Is she the same there?
The issue is really that when she starts school (sept I assume) there will be periods of time she is expected to sit quietly and focus on something. If she is genuinely unable to do that, then it's a problem. If on the other hand she can adapt her behaviour in structured situations, then she sounds fine

My son never sits still either! He would rather have a sandwich that he can eat on the run than a cooked dinner. He is 4.5 yrs old as well. It's normal, not ADHD, some kids just are more active than others! I know it can be tiring, but I am just glad he likes exercising and running around in the fresh air, and has all his life!

When mines was little she wouldn't stop then when she got strapped into,the high chair to eat, because she was forced to sit still, she often fell asleep face down in her food.

V amusing.

P.S. my son sits still at nursery for his Spanish lessons, will sit and listen to stories etc, but if you give him a choice, he would rather be out running about! I don't think school will be a problem, and I don't have an issue with him running around at home.

My DD who was later diagnosed with ADHD was similar, except that she slept on average 4-6 hours a night. She couldn't have managed jigsaws until much older because she couldn't 'slow' her mind down to logically solve problems. She had lots of 'odd' little quirks as a baby/toddler that then made sense.

With any high energy child lots of excercise is the answer. I took mine swimming or trampoling every day.

All totally normal.

We have a rule in this house, "two cheeks on the chair!" because they are incapable of sitting on their chairs to eat with both buttocks!

That is the only time I insist on sitting properly, the rest of the time they have ants in their pants.

Dd is 7 and does gymnastics, it is great and she totally loves it. I would encourage that if you can, and remember that kids love nothing better than a field or park to run about in. In fact I would try to get some running time in every day for my two if possible!

I don't know why we bothered with sofas!

Thanks all for the advice:)

auntmargaret i don't think i was labelling my child with a problem, it's something i've always acepted as a postive that she's so active but true what you say, maybe to do with my lack of confidence around parenting, but in fairness, on more than one occasion i've had to explain that my DD will not sit happily at a dinner table/restaurant for an hour with other child/families.

My point really was should I help her to LEARN to sit or just ACCEPT that's what she's like, etc. It's a delicate balancing act (pun aside:) It can be tricky at certain family events/outings if she's the one running around etc as it's often perceived as being 'bold/badly behaved' by some older relatives but I know it's not.

some other friends with young DC say that meal times should be a time for children to sit. I do feel a bit of a failure that DD doesn't sit down, as if I haven't done enough to help her in this regard.

To answer your questions callmemrs is is starting school in Sept and currently attends montessori 5 morning per week. the feedback has always benn very positive, she plays very well, can sit and engage in learning activites and sit to eat at lunch time no prob.

As callmemrs says if at nursery/school she doesn't take the cue from everyone else and try and sit still. Or if she wount cslm down to play with something shes genuinlu interested in you have a problem.
Otherwise you have a perfectly normal child. DD2 has always had a tendency to be like this, much better as she's got older, but she's almost 11 and still always has to go to the loo at restaurants and during formal meals. She just gets fed up.

WTF I seem to have lost auto correct sometimes, but not others very odd

Mrs Wooster. My niece and nephew are bribed into sitting still by getting "treats" after every meal
I dont think this is the right way of doing it though.

My kids are frowned upon for having to get down from the table aftere 30mins, which I think is perfectly acceptable.

I don't think a 7 and 4yo should have to sit at the table for 1 hour or longer. That is just cruel for kids!

I could have written your post when my DD was 3 years old. Like you, I signed her up for gymnastics in a bid to tire her out. It didn't work . Instead, she was chosen for squad (apparently being hyperactive is a good thing in gymnastics!) and now she does 12 hours a week training.

Unfortunately, she still watches tv whilst standing on her head.

They do get better as they get older... just bear with her and let her be. My DD is now 8, and does at least manage to contain herself whilst at the dinner table etc. But she has a bar on the door to her bedroom and she just can't walk past it without doing a dozen swings.

Good luck with her .

Regarding all thse children leaping about, what do you give them to drink? Coca Cola, Pepsi, pop (fizzy drinks) of any sort? If so, that's where your answer is. They are well known for making children hyperactive.

Rule Britannia - my child definitely did not have any fizzy drinks until she was about 7. I always used the old Mnet 'white coke' trick (carbonated water) and she fell for that until she was quite old. She didn't even drink squash until she was quite old. She never even tried chocolate until she was almost 3. Some children are just more bouncy than others .

Yabu

Regarding all thse children leaping about, what do you give them to drink? Coca Cola, Pepsi, pop (fizzy drinks) of any sort? If so, that's where your answer is. They are well known for making children hyperactive.

Sugar causing hyperactivity is a big fat myth :) So while it's 'well known', it's not true.

Article on Medicinenet
Food and Argiculture Organisation of the United Nations
A meta analysis on the subject conducted by Department of Pediatrics, Vanderbilt University on PubMed

Some children are more energetic than others and there's nothing wrong with that. They're just being children. (Not that I think giving children sugary crap to eat is a good idea, it's not)

dd is nearly 5 and sits still only at school. She jumps, runs, wriggles,sings and shouts whatever she is doing including mealtimes.Just an active kid.and never a fizzy drink in sight.Some kids are just built this way !

I don't know if your child has ADHD or not. (Obviously)

However, I do know being able to concentrate for things she likes at nursery does not preclude her having ADHD.

I also do know that if she does have ADHD then you're far better off knowing that she does.

It's not about getting a label to justify her behaviour - it's about being able to access things (like info!) that might help her

I have a wriggly DS1 (aged 6) but mealtime behaviour has improved radically since we introduced a new rule. He's allowed to get down from the table during a meal if (a) he needs the loo and asks "please may I be excused" (b) the house is on fire, or he is bleeding or has a head injury. Otherwise, his plate is removed when he gets down and his meal ends. He now sits at the table and eats with the rest of us and asks permission to get down when he has finished eating.