to be a little annoyed by my friends behaviour

[Poley]

A good friend of mine has always had a bit of a problem with friendships - she has always been eager to cultivate them but some people werent really fans of her and she'd be dropped in after arranging nights out etc (she can be quite neurotic/insensitive at times). Ive always liked her, regardless.
Anyway we've both got a baby now, her ds is almost 8 months old, and since having him shes gone into overdrive making friends everywhere she can at baby groups etc. She added me into a one on facebook which I left after a while as there was quite a bit of bitching/competitiveness. I told her about a nasty bullying situation that occurred on it that made me decide to leave, and rather than respond to my message she asked the people on the group what happened and kind of brushed it all aside. I realised that Id offended her by being negative about her new friends, but felt a little upset that she'd chosen to ignore my point of view completely.
The wife of a guy we both used to work with added me on facebook and we chatted a fair bit, she didnt add my friend and that really bugged her for weeks - when she finally WAS added she sent me a message telling me how happy she was that she'd finally been sent a friend request. I didnt really know what to say. She even suggested we all meet up with our babies for a day out, but we've never met this girl in real life so it'd be sort of awkward, iykwim.
So basically, Im annoyed at her dismissing me for some virtual friends shes just met, and then being funny when she cant share mine aswell!
After reading all of this back I realise the facebook references make us sound about 12 but we're nearly 30 and as we live quite far apart its our main source of communication... sigh

i think you might need to have more than one facebook account to keep your friendship groups seperate

i have competetiveness and tend to opt out myself

hate not have

I think you are giving yourselves too much credit by saying it makes you sound about 12. I have children in my reception class that handle their friends playing with someone else better than this.

If you live quite far apart, you should concentrate on people who you could see more regularly, and who behave like grown ups.

Don't you have phones then?

Lol KitchenRoll :) we've always had our own friendships.

Facebook is most definately an irritant in this situation.

Ummm. You could both get out more? [confused[

I'm only saying this as an analogy and not suggesting she's like this, but your friend is like the phase some people can go through when they mistake lust for love, shag around, and then wonder why they're not being fulfilled.

She equates the amount of people she has 'virtually' with social contact, whereas she doesn't have the depth of friendship with these people that she craves.

Might be totally wrong like but it's what your OP made me think of.

I see what youre saying, yeah. We were very close at one time but due to one thing or another dont see each other as much as we once did. She has become quite open with others and more ever so slightly more guarded with me, it makes me sad.

Its sad but I'd rise above the situation and let her go free get on with it.

She sounds rather insecure the poor thing.

Thats exactly what dp said.

when i felt like i had nobody i turned to baby groups, parenting sites and facebook for friendship, probably not so much as your friend but i reckon your friend is really lonely

just leave her be

You put people you've never met on your facebook friends list?

Yeah, they had a little boy last year and Id often ask after her when chatting to her husband, so she added me.

Ive often told her Im here if she ever wants to talk about stuff, suppose it is best to just leave her be.

I just read another facebook-related friend mishap on here earlier so I dont feel quite so cringey about my own now...

Too much like hard work for me. I wouldn't be friends with someone so obviously desperate for the attention of everyone in sight to the point where they get pissy over me having friends that they don't.

It seems that the neuroticism you once liked has become tiresome. As it would. move on.

I lost interest with the bullying thing. You're 30 and a parent and you imagine you can be "bullied" in a facebook group? Switch. Off. The. Computer.

Sheesh.

You both spend too much time on facebook. You are being ridiculous, grow up.

Im boycotting facebook for a while ! Feel so much better when Im not looking at it.

You kind of lost me a bit on that one - I agree that it does make you sound about 12 though. Step away from FB!

i have plenty of friends on FB and I have never ever come across any of them doing all this online public Jeremy Kyle shit. Who does this? I just don't get it. Grow up, go out and stop being friends with people who have a big hole where their brains should be.

Facebook is great for catching up with people and the odd conversation but it's not real life. Some people put way too much time and effort into it and take it far too seriously.

She sounds like she collects friends, but if I was you I'd simply concentrate on your real friends (not the virtual ones) and let your 'friend' get on with it. It's not healthy to get that 'bothered' about not being added by a person she's never met before.