to want to pay for DD 18th Birthday

[floramckitchen]

DD will be 18 in August and I would like to invite our close family (about 10 of us) to birthday meal. I would like to pay for it in full but DH says everyone should pay for themselves. It just seems mean as we could easily afford it. He thinks its ok because that is what he did for stepdaughter. AIBU

no youre not!he is!

if you want to pay then pay
but don't feel you have to.

your DH sounds a little bit mean no?

My mum took my family out for my 18!

Your DH is bu

I think it's a lovely gesture.

My only concern would be re your stepdaughter.

Will she be attending the meal? And has she recently turned 18?

If not and she's in her 20's - then your DH is being a bit mean.

YAB a little bit U but only because surely it isn't fair to treat daughter's 18th different to your stepdaughter?

Usually I'd agree with you that paying for everyone is a lovely thing to do, but I can see how it might cause friction in this case.

My stepdaughters 18th birthday was a very spur of the moment thing because she had her 'big do' with her mum and her side of the family. The celebration with us was very much after the event. But its true to say that everyone chipped in for the bill.

I just want to make a fuss of my daughter and not feel I have to get permission!

I can understand you wanting to make a fuss of your dd. But honestly I doubt if she would notice if you paid for everyone or if they all chipped in.

WHile YANBU to want to do this for your dd I think it would be pretty awkward for your dh and stepdd if this wasn't done for her.

How about as a compromise pay for the drinks? And take your dd out during the day before and get her hair done and a manicure / pedicure together or something using the money you owuld have spent on the food? Bet your dd would prefer this too!