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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to not go out tonight if it snows?

46 replies

fullofregrets · 04/02/2012 09:42

We are meant to be going out for a friend's birthday tonight. It's about 15miles away but it is down an unlit lane most of the way. My parents are babysitting and will have to drive home afterwards which also seems a bit much if weather is bad (they are approx 15miles away too.)

I have just text friend to forewarn her that we probably won't make it if it is bad and she was not very pleased. Apparently there are people going who are coming from further away than us (but probably on main gritted routes).

AIBU to think I don't really care what anyone else is doing and that I don't want to drive in snow and ice? And also that I don't want my parents to drive back in snow and ice either? It is a meal and will probably go on until late. It is not starting until 8pm so even if we only went for part of it it will still be late.

I feel bad about it though. Why did the weather have to suddenly turn so cold?! Bloody February.

OP posts:

northcountrygirl · 04/02/2012 10:59

I would not go. Two years ago I broke my back on the ice outside my house. I was really lucky that it was "only" my sacrum that I broke but was still in agony for weeks. Two years on I still see a chiropracter as it put my hips out of alignment and now one leg is an inch and a half longer than the other.

It's really not worth the risk in my opinion.

MissBerta · 04/02/2012 11:01

Oh blimey, northcountrygirl, you poor thing.

There were countless broken wrists here where I live in the last snowy spell.

zipzap · 04/02/2012 11:20

It's not just snow though is it - op has also said about 2 big ungritted steep hills which can be treacherous in icy weather regardless of whether or not there is snow.

If they are also on the unlit part they would be driving on and would leave them with a walk of several miles home then it would be madness to go if it was going to be below zero regardless of snow or no snow.

jesuswhatnext · 04/02/2012 11:30

hmm, we have this dilemma this evening - its only about a half hour drive to the party, most of the roads will have been gritted but not all, the forecast here is for heavy snow from about 9pm so by the time we will want to leave it will be dark, freezing and possibly poor visability but according to some here i should just hoist up my big girl knickers and go anyway, i will tell that to the people digging us out shall i? or to the ambulance and police officers when im explaining that because i wanted to go to a party i knew they wouldnt mind having to help us - ffs, doing the school run in daylight, getting to work etc etc all reasonable reasons for venturing out, for going to party because otherwise it will 'upset the hostess' oh please!!!

skrumle · 04/02/2012 11:44

we live in a town surrounded by hills - in heavy-ish snow those hills are undrivable unless you're in a 4*4 (and even then you'd probably choose one route over the other). our (ordinary, "suburban") street is accessed up and down short hills - normally fine and dandy but the last couple of years there have been 4 days where it was all-but-impossible to get up the hills due to the snow/ice. you know where you are best so it really is your call...

lesley33 · 04/02/2012 11:54

Sorry - it was me getting arsey. Its not really about this - I am just having a terrible time at the moment. So sorry

jesuswhatnext · 04/02/2012 11:57

lesley, ive pmed you!

Glittertwins · 04/02/2012 11:59

YANBU. We live off a steep hill which is never gritted despite being in a town centre. This makes it totally impossible to get the car in/out after any snow has been crushed down into ice. Last year, an ambulance couldn't even get into our road to get to a neighbour.
We're supposed to be out tomorrow too but have forewarned of cancellation if the amount of snow expected turns up.

Glittertwins · 04/02/2012 12:02

Oh and we lost a 4wd car on black ice a few years ago too, total write off but luckily DH was okay.

SecretNutellaFix · 04/02/2012 12:03

Posie, how about using the trains?

ChaoticAngel · 04/02/2012 12:05

Work, school and even food shopping are necessary journeys, a party isn't. Even if you made it to the party and back your parents may not be able to make it home and they have responsibilities to their pets. Will you really enjoy the party worrying about whether you and/or your parents would be able to get home safely.

OP YANBU

PosieParker · 04/02/2012 12:05

Secret. I would just be too worried, four children at home and us stuck in Cardiff would not be good. I think my sister (babysitter) would not be happy!! But it's not a bad idea.

Snow has begun to fall.

AnnoyingOrange · 04/02/2012 12:06

I don't go out unless I really need to. Why take unnecessary risks? I would definitely cancel both for my own sake and my parents

MigratingCoconuts · 04/02/2012 12:14

I remember people getting snowed up and stuck on the A3 last year, over night. Some were arsey about it saying that the police should have made a much bigger effort to bring them tea and keep them informed of what was going on.

I thought that was a dammed cheek! It was clear to anyone who had been paying attention to the weather forecast that it could be a possibility and to suggest the police should risk their health to let these people know what was really obvious to the rest of us seemed really silly!

Sorry..rant over . Do as you think is safest. It really is your call alone to make based on how you feel about it.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 04/02/2012 12:16

Yanbu I am a very confident driver in all weather conditions if I'm caught out in it, but I have cancelled for a party I was supposed to be going to tonight. I have a 4x4, with snow chains in the boot, a bag of rock salt and a snow shovel as well as a full tank of diesel and a sleeping bag just in case I get stuck anywhere, emergency high energy snacks and drinks, Full cold weather gear for the kids if snow is forecast, but I don't undertake journeys in bad weather unless I'm either caught out in it or its an essential journey. I don't think I over react, but I do make sure I'm prepared for anything. after my dad had to walk 6 miles home across fields after having to abandon his car a few years ago And almost didn't make it, I'd rather have a boot full of stuff I don't need than need it and not have it.

Mrsrobertduvall · 04/02/2012 12:28

We should be travelling to Leeds this afternoon for db's 60th birthday but have cancelled. Can't bear being delayed on the train coming home...we have to be back for the children.
A shame but he ho.
Dh and I are off to the cinema this afternoon and a nice meal while dcs are still staying with friends, so at least we have a decent weekend.

Pendeen · 04/02/2012 14:58

On ice and snow an 'ordinary' car with good quality winter tyres is often better than a 4x4 with normal all season tyres.

My Alfa Romeo with it's Pirelli winter tyres can claw it's way across our icy moorland roads much more easily than my neighbour's great big Land Rover Discovery (mind you in thick heavy snow, it's not so good).

But if it was only to a party then I would probably not go.

petal2008 · 04/02/2012 15:03

YANBU It's snowing here and due to get worse. My DH & DS were due to go to a football match but have decided against it.

aldiwhore · 04/02/2012 15:04

YANBU... I wouldn't make the drive alone or with the DCs. I'm not scared of snow, and would risk it in an emergency, but I think its just common sense not to go out unless you have to in bad bad weather. (Actually, I just prefer not to go out unless I have to full stop)

PippiL · 04/02/2012 15:19

Lesley, s'okay :-) everybody is allowed to have a bad day. I respect a person who can admit to it though ;-) hope your day gets better.

I live in a rural area. I just love the excuse to stay in in bad weather!

Scholes34 · 04/02/2012 15:59

If you decide not to go, phone and speak to your friend, rather than texting. Be firm and don't let her persuade you to go. Would be best to cancel your parents, so you don't have the option of a babysitter any more. YANBU to not want to drive in poor weather conditions. Don't worry about what other people say. You should make a decision on how safe you would feel doing the driving, not on other people's experiences.

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