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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regarding bil, bil, bils wife, bils daughter

35 replies

mrsmaltesers · 03/02/2012 21:56

Bil and ex partner have daughter aged 5
Acrimonious split (35k in legal fees etc)

Kids birthday sunday. Kid gets fauned over by bil (ie uncle), bils wife, pils and AA Sundry. She is treated like kate bloody middletn. She is Five, ffs.

I can't give a monkeys knacker about the sycophantic bollocks that surrounds this poor kid.

Aibu to not treat her like an A list celeb like my fcuking ILs will, and bil and bils wife and my bloody dh will too. It's because she is a tug of love kid and everyine is trying to compensate for the parents split etc etc.

Am feeling supremely uncharitable.

OP posts:
pictish · 03/02/2012 21:57

Not sure why you have such a problem with this?
Why do you?

WorraLiberty · 03/02/2012 21:59

Blimey, why the venom?

rubyslippers · 03/02/2012 21:59

You sound so cross

A 5 year old should be fussed over on her birthday

AgentZigzag · 03/02/2012 21:59

What's making you feel so uncharitable?

It's not any fault of the little lass, but the way you talk about her in the OP sounds a bit OTT.

She's only a little girl on her birthday, why shouldn't she feel special?

squeakytoy · 03/02/2012 21:59

She is five for gods sakes.. surely any kid should be fawned over a bit on their birthday.. by their family.

You sound unhinged. What on earth has it got to do with you?

nkf · 03/02/2012 21:59

What's wrong?

rhondajean · 03/02/2012 22:00

Poor kid, been through a horrible divorce and now for some reason you decide to,be bitter and jealous?

She's 5, it's not her fault she's being spoilt, and may e she needs it after all that.

Get a grip.

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 03/02/2012 22:01

It's her birthday

And she's your niece, not just your BIL's daughter

I can only assume that your kids are not treated as A list celebs by your in laws and that's what's really pissing you off.

SiamoNellaMerda · 03/02/2012 22:01

You DO sound unhinged. Direct your anger and bitterness at someone who really deserves it - a 5 year old child cannot possibly be that!

Rhinestone · 03/02/2012 22:01

You seem to be taking this personally? Confused

She is 5 yrs old and it sounds like she's had a horrible time lately. And it's her birthday. Deserves a bit of fawning IMO.

You don't sound very nice. This is your niece by the way.

ginmakesitallok · 03/02/2012 22:02

A 5 year old deserves to be spoiled on their birthday - especially a 5 year old whose parents have just gone through an acrimonious divorce.

You're not coming across very well

Original poster
mrsmaltesers · 03/02/2012 22:02

Because she is treated like it's madonna and george clooney in the house and it is just very false and gets right on my nerves (she is not as muscly as madonna)

I am not a sycophant but every time she picks her nose there are pap style shots taken by bil and coo-ing and ga ga -ing byt mil and everykne has to oooh and ahhhhhhh (seriousoly. I have never seen anything like it)

I am BU i realise. It's late. And its too late for diet coke now (my normal good mood thing)

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 03/02/2012 22:03

crikey

you don't like any of 'em, do you?

best you develop a headache on the day, non? then you need not witness your niece having a lovely time

HTH

BoysAreLikeDogs · 03/02/2012 22:04

bugger

forgot this ............> Smile

Original poster
mrsmaltesers · 03/02/2012 22:04

I know iabu. It is just the level of hysteria for this child, regardless of whether or not it's her birthday she is always treated like a superhero. Really false.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 03/02/2012 22:05

Have you got any children mrsm?

What are your ILs like with them if you have?

rhondajean · 03/02/2012 22:06

She didn't ask for it though.

Do you have children of your own that you feel are being slighted?

AgentZigzag · 03/02/2012 22:06

'regardless of whether or not it's her birthday she is always treated like a superhero'

Maybe they love her?

Just a thought like.

OfCourseImAlwaysRight · 03/02/2012 22:07

what did you want to happen on her birthday?? Everyone to ignore the poor Child?! it sounds like she may not have had a great time recently and deserves to be spoilt on her birthday.

Do you have children? if so, do you think you may have an issue that they re not 'fawned over' on their birthdays.

OfCourseImAlwaysRight · 03/02/2012 22:08

what did you want to happen on her birthday?? Everyone to ignore the poor Child?! it sounds like she may not have had a great time recently and deserves to be spoilt on her birthday.

Do you have children? if so, do you think you may have an issue that they re not 'fawned over' on their birthdays.

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 03/02/2012 22:09

Is she the only grandchild?

This is first grandchild syndrome and nothing to do with her parents split. my parents went nuts over their first GC but have calmed down now they have 4! I never resented it because I thought my niece was the most intelligent and advanced child I'd ever met too!!

Also, your BIL is her Dad and he doesn't see her often. he probably is suffering from guilt. So he wants to make sure she's happy. Nothing wrong with that.

if your parents don't think you're A list and start treating you no better than peter Andre, that is really sad.

hellhasnofury · 03/02/2012 22:10

Direct your anger towards the adults who treat her that way, not towards her. She's a 5 year old. She doesn't invite their reactions.

griphook · 03/02/2012 22:10

I sort of understand where you are comming from, my niece is treated very well by my dp's family, lots of money spent on her, allways get she own way, family has to do what she wants or she will just say that she wants to go home to her mum or stamp her feet and scream. ( she has been given her own mobile phone by her mum so she can call her to come and get her) Her little brother just has to go along with it, he has no choices has to do the activity that dn picks. She is 7 and this has been going on since bil and wife split about 2 years ago. My ds is thrown the odd crumb every now and then by my mil.

But remember it's not her fault, she is a child. It's their fault (bil and mil) fwiw I treat her the same as all my other nieces and newphes, she has to wait and take turns. She does find it difficult, but it's important to me that they all feel valued.

springydaffs · 03/02/2012 22:13

I get you mrs

Mya2403 · 03/02/2012 23:12

Grow up op you sound like a vindictive bitch she is 5.

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