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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be dreading this weekend?

46 replies

notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 19:49

I am absolutely crapping myself about the weather this weekend. I live in a council estate and do not get on very well round here at all. We are sometimes targets for pranks played by the local children such as banging knocking on the door (sometimes the window) and running away, throwing the odd stone at the windows and general snide remarks and looks when we are out in the street (ie going to the shop or whereever). Just before christmas they were pouring water onto the road to make an ice rink, but they were also scraping this ice and throwing at my house. Last year in the heavy snow they spend well over 2 hours throwing snowballs at our house along with trying to push it through the letter box (DH was holding it down) and running at the door.

Its going to snow here from tomorrow afternoon and through the night and because of the dry weather it will settle so now (naturally) I am petrified of a repeat performance of last year. What makes it worse is that back in November we were offered another house in a really nice village, which we are looking to accept. Though we need to view it first and we cant view it until they have finished getting it ready, but because we are not emergency they are doing more than normal to it and decorating it (they could have moved us in weeks ago and given us decorating vouchers - although I would have been more than happy to have just paid for it myself if it meant I was moved sooner). We still dont know how long its going to take, but I feel as though we shouldnt be where we are any more.

Im not trying to suggest that council estates are bad areas, but just trying to paint a picture of what I live around. We do seem to live in the worst street in this area, Ive even seen housing exchange adverts say will live anywhere in area X, but not street Y (my street). Anyway I am absolutley shitting myself and cant do anything about it :(

Sorry for rambling I just wanted to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 19:54

Please tell me IABU to shake myself out of it, its not like I can do anything about it is there?

OP posts:
Itchywoolyjumper · 03/02/2012 19:55

That terrible, I really feel for you. Would it do any good to phone the police non emergency number and get the community officers to wander past now and again?

MilitaryWag · 03/02/2012 19:57

If the little shits start making your life difficult phone the police. Keep a log of everything they do. Phone the council and tell them. Keep on and on and on. What they are doing can result in them being evicted.

pictish · 03/02/2012 19:58

Poor you OP - that sounds awful.

The thing is too, it only takes a handful of wrong 'uns to spoil it for many doesn't it?

Let your move come asap. xxx

Thankgodforcaffeine · 03/02/2012 19:58

Did you try calling the police? If you are feeling scared they should be involved. Or is it the type of estate where it would possibly make it worse?

I'm sorry I haven't got any more practical advice as you are clearly upset.

I hope it all goes well, and they find something else to "entertain" themselves.

AgentZigzag · 03/02/2012 19:59

Sorry I can't give you the answer you want because I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - you poor things Sad

Have you contacted anyone about the scrotes?

You need to be calling them, and calling every. fucking. time.

How dare they make you feel so insecure in your own fucking home, shit like this makes me fume.

Get on to whoever is sorting your new house out on Monday and keep on at them until they get their act together, you shouldn't have to put up with this full stop, but keep in mind your lovely new home if anything does happen.

thisisyesterday · 03/02/2012 19:59

i agree, there is no harm calling the non-emergency number, explain what happened last time and say that you are worried about the upcoming snow.
that means that if you do need to call them again you'll be logged already and more chance of them coming out to make sure you're ok (i think)

hope you don't have any trouble though and you're in your new house soon

Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 20:00

I phoned them up before christmas regarding the ice thing and about an hour later they wandered down. It did stop it so Im thinking that. The problem is that its meant to be quite bad weather so they might have less staff being able to get to work so might really be only doing real emergencies and as we wont be getting threatened or in any real danger we wont get anywhere. Its worth a try and something which I will do if I need to. I just wish I didnt need to.

Last year I was at work and DH was home when we had the over 2 hours of snowballs. Once I was home I rang the police station (not 999, but we've only just got 101 so was an 0845 number) to ask if in future I could ring 999 for it and I got told yes, but they wouldnt class it as an emergency and would only come out if they could. They wouldnt have been able to last year so Im not sure they will be able to this year.

Im just going to have to put up with it over the weekend and complain to the council on monday if I need to. The problem is I dont want to be known as a complainer because of reprocusions (is that the right word? Is it spelt right?).

OP posts:
Beamur · 03/02/2012 20:00

Is there anyone you could stay with over the weekend if it does snow? If you're not there maybe they would take their fun elsewhere.

TroublesomeEx · 03/02/2012 20:00

Sadly, I don't think you are BU Sad.

I think you're just going to have to focus on the new place and tell yourself whatever is necessary to get you through the next few weeks.

And if that involves having ungracious thoughts about them, then so be it.

grooveisintheheartahahahah · 03/02/2012 20:04

I probably shouldn't say this but if you do have to phone 999 then I would say that you are in fear and feel threatened and that it will escalate into violence.

AgentZigzag · 03/02/2012 20:06

Snow does do funny things to people, especially children, and they can get a bit over enthusiastic.

But two hours?? That's not just high jinks is it? It's harrassment, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 20:09

beamur I had thought about taking myself and my DC's to my parents (I dont think DH would want to come), but it is possible that a window might break and Id rather we were around so we could get it fixed (or at least get it boarded up). Plus I dont really want to tell my parents the reason why I need to be away as I dont want them to worry.

I probably wont phone 999 groove, but its a good idea to say something similar when I phone 101. Though I have heard that both 999 and 101 calls go through to the same call centre.

All I do is picture my new house and my new life, just wish it was here now :(

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 03/02/2012 20:13

Why don't YOU make an ice rink of your own tonight....alll the way from your gate to your door . Hopefully one of the shits will fall on it.
Providing there are no visitors you are expecting of course.

Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 20:25

Grin Chas Would love to, but would rather not stoop to their level.

Trying to think of things I would like to do (without doing them obviously), but cant think of anything thats not too far over the edge.

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 03/02/2012 20:53

I don't see how defending yourself is a bad thing...but I grew up on an estate like that.

It's a bit kill or be killed really.

I know you don't want to get down in the slime with them....but maybe you could give them a hand to get THEMSELVES in the shit a bit more?

At the moment they are not doing anything VERY bad...it's snow...not stones...but they are making them prolonged attacks...they're not daft. They know JUST how far to push people.

If it were me I would probably get right on their level and come out brandishing a shovel....fill the air with expletives and go for them at a run.

But that's me. I DID in fact do a similar thing on my old estate...kids decided to chuck broken crockery at people from balconies and I set off at a run towards their hidey hole...they all scattered and never did it again.

Notthefullshilling · 03/02/2012 20:57

Can I ask what it is the local kids have found to target you about? Normally they will pick on a family because they stand out in some way, or if it is a common perception that the family has done something?

How old are your DC's, are you renting or have a mortgage?

Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 21:07

notthefullshilling To be really honest I dont know, but I know where you are coming from. The only thing I can think of is that we have children (the oldest is in the same class as a couple of the children in the street), but they dont play out. Partly because we dont let him because he is autistic and gets obsesive about aeroplanes and helicopters. If he was in the street and something flew over he would run straight out into the road without even considering traffic. It is just not safe for him. DD1 is only 4 so a bit young yet and DD2 still a baby (cant even sit up yet, let alone play in the street). I think that they think we are just being nasty when we have a really good reason why we dont let him play out. Also he doesnt want to either.

To be honest, its been going on for a while really and it just thats number x we pick on them. Most of the time its one thing (we have had eggs at our windows) and we dont let it bother us. We ignore any comments, look straight back at any funny looks and dont answer the door if they are doing the knock and run thing so we never react so I dont know what they are trying to do.

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 03/02/2012 21:14

They are tryng to intimidate you because you're not the same as them and that scares them...is there one ringleader that you can pick out?

marriedinwhite · 03/02/2012 21:20

YANBU. I wouldn't hesitate to call 999 in those circumstances.

rhondajean · 03/02/2012 21:23

So you have been waiting to get into a council house since November?

That's very unusual. While its empty, they have what's known as void loss of rental income which is frowned upon by the regulators. YANBU about the weekend but what's happening about the other house?

rhondajean · 03/02/2012 21:24

Sorry Im assuming it's social housing you are moving to, you didn't actually say, sorry if I am wrong

Notthefullshilling · 03/02/2012 21:26

Thank you for your candid answer, I know how difficult it is to be on the receiving end of stuff like this.

Now I know you do not consider this to be that serious, but I have to say I would begin to categorise this as disability hate crime. At the very least action driven by the desire to draw attention to the fact that someone has a disability which in it's self is a recognised part of hate crime. Let me say right now that you probably do not want to think of it like that, and in fact saying that the root is your son's difference might feel like you are being negative towards your son and his impairment. This is totally understandable and you should noot have to be put in a situation where that is something you need to face, indeed that is why it is a hate crime because it is about underlining the difference. (Sorry if I am rambling.)

I would suggest though that your child's behaviour re planes has been noticed, and the fact that he does not play out is also noticed, combined with the other kids knowing him from school I think adds up to your family being the target. I would now as a matter of urgency contact the local community safety officer, and the local station to explain in more detail about your family and why these kids might be targeting you. Also consider chatting with the school to see if anything has happened there, or if some work could be done in inclusion and difference. Lastly I would say that even if I am absolutely 100% wrong about the motive, the fact is that you have someone with autism in the house which makes your family more vulnerable. This should be noted and acted upon by the police. Also if appropriate contact local council.

Original poster
notveryinventive · 03/02/2012 21:37

chas there is a couple that stand out, but I wouldnt know what to say to them. Also I hate confrontation so would shy away from it where I can.

rhonda sorry yes it is another council house. We applied for a move and have had to move away from where we know (its an hour and half drive away) as the only people who can get a house in the city we are in are in higher bands than us. no-one wants to live rural as lots of people who want a council house dont have transport.

notthefullshilling I can see where you're coming from regarding hate crime, but I had never thought of it this way. I agree it will be noticed that he doesnt play out as his ways will also have been noticed. Though I probably wouldnt think they realise he had any disabilities, maybe just wierd.

I just wish I could go back to my 20 year younger self and warn me that I really should not waste the money my parents saved for me since birth and then I could take my mum up on the offer she made me in 2000 and go halfs on a house, then I would own my own property and not have to live in a council area. Though what's done is done I suppose, just got to improve my situation and by moving I really think I will be. Just wish it would hurry up.

OP posts:
rhondajean · 03/02/2012 21:41

Can I suggest you contact your housing officer just now and et all of these incidents logged, then contact whoever your landlord will be when you move and check what's happening.

I'm very involved in social housing and for it to take more than two months to make a house let table is unknown to me. I've known some less desirable properties take close to that to be accepted, but as I said, they lose rental income and the pressure is really on them to get one tenant in as soon as the other is out.

Also tell them about the abuse you are suffering and see if they can move things on.

It's not a new property is is? The only reason I can think of for this is it taking longer to come off site than expected.